# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/21 "2016-12-21T14:25:20Z")
Your “Check Engine” light is on. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/22 "2016-12-21T14:31:43Z")
Mary Cooper: Oh, relax, Leonard, I have raised that boy. I’ve seen him at his best, I’ve seen him at his worst. There’s nothing he can do that’ll surprise me. Leonard: Hold on to that thought. Sheldon: Come in. Leonard: Surprise. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/23 "2016-12-21T15:07:26Z")
I find myself oddly titillated. He thought you were going to blow up the moon! I can drive. I choose not to. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/24 "2016-12-21T16:16:49Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > “I’m sorry, we don’t have a code for robot’s hand grasping a man’s penis.” “Because that’s all you needed, right?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/25 "2016-12-21T19:27:14Z")
I love him, but if he’s broken, let’s not get a new one. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/26 "2016-12-21T21:50:11Z")
**Penny:** Leonard, I didn’t know you played the cello. **Leonard:** Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in advanced placement classes wasn’t getting me beaten up enough. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2016, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/27 "2016-12-22T13:48:14Z")
Emily or Cinnamon? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2016, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/28 "2016-12-22T15:36:32Z")
Leonard: Our babies will be smart and beautiful. Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2016, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/29 "2016-12-22T15:54:44Z")
Is the sex happening now? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2016, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/30 "2016-12-22T17:13:17Z")
Leonard: We need to widen our circle. Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on Myspace. Leonard: Yes, and you’ve never met one of them. Sheldon: That’s the beauty of it. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2016, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/31 "2016-12-22T17:57:18Z")
And I gently caress your…nose. Keep rolling. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2016, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/32 "2016-12-22T18:21:39Z")
Obviously you’re not well-suited for three-dimensional chess. Perhaps three-dimensional Candy Land would be more your speed. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2016, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/33 "2016-12-22T18:31:06Z")
Could you please stop staring? They’re just girls. It’s nothing you haven’t seen in movies or in drawings. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2016, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/34 "2016-12-22T21:39:10Z")
Howard Wolowitz: So, this spring, I get to go to the International Space Station. Mary Cooper: Oh, my word! A trip to the Heavens. If you ever want to live there eternally, I’ve got a good book you could read. Howard Wolowitz: Thanks, but I watch the ‘Charlie Brown Christmas Special’ every year, so I get the gist. Sheldon Cooper: I grew up in Texas. Football is ubiquitous in Texas. Pro football, college football, high school football, Pee-Wee football; in fact, every form of football except the original: European football, which most Texans believe to be a commie plot. Raj: What happened? Sheldon: Obviously another carnal fiasco with the ‘Shiksee’ goddess. Howard: Shiksa. Shik-Sa. Sheldon: Forgive me. Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas. And if it was, it wasn’t spoken for long. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/35 "2016-12-23T02:46:22Z")
**Sheldon:** The housekeeper in the faculty residence didn’t speak any English. When I finally managed to convince her I was sick, she said, “Möchtest du eine Darmspülung?” **Penny:** What does that mean? **Sheldon:** Based on what happened next, I assume it means, “Would you like an enema?” ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/36 "2016-12-23T03:43:39Z")
Sheldon: I have a Master’s Degree & 2 Doctorates, the thing’s I should know~ I do ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/37 "2016-12-23T04:14:45Z")
Amy: I guess it must have been back when I was in the Girl Sprouts. Bernadette: Girl Sprouts? Amy: My mom made it up as an alternative to the Girl Scouts. She didn’t want me selling cookies on some street corner like a whore. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/38 "2016-12-23T04:52:34Z")
**Sheldon:** 15 years old—Dennis Kim is 15 years old, and he’s already correcting my work. Today I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart to—you know—that other guy. **Howard:** Antonio Salieri. **Sheldon:** Oh, God, now even _you’re_ smarter than me. ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/39 "2016-12-23T06:52:08Z")
“There’s a Sarcasm Sign?!” ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/40 "2016-12-23T09:40:48Z")
Raj: The thing about Aqua Man… Where does he poop! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=3)