# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/421 "2017-04-29T00:13:31Z")
**Leonard** (_when Sheldon wakes him up again in the middle of the night_): My life would be so much easier if I were a violent sociopath. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/422 "2017-04-29T00:44:12Z")
Are you feeling insecure? Because that’s MY thing, and if you take it away, I don’t know what I’m bringing to this relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2017, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/423 "2017-05-06T15:46:35Z")
Why are there 2 wine glasses on the table? Well…I have 2 hands, and a bit of a drinking problem ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2017, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/424 "2017-05-06T20:36:20Z")
The monkey in my tobacco study has taken to smoking a pipe. I’m supposed to remove his brain to examine, but it’s hard because now he reminds me of my uncle. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/425 "2017-05-11T00:40:53Z")
Oh thats a lot of incense~~or somebody set a hippie on fire! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/426 "2017-05-11T01:53:19Z")
Just recently, I had to put VapoRub on Amy’s chest. A year ago, that would’ve been unthinkable. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/427 "2017-05-19T05:28:37Z")
Penny: I’m just a blond monkey to you ain’t I? Sheldon: You said it ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/428 "2017-05-19T12:13:03Z")
**Sheldon:** It took me forever to get him on a bathroom schedule. He would go whenever the mood struck him. **Amy:** Like a dog boy. **Sheldon:** Exactly. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/429 "2017-05-19T21:22:33Z")
**Bernadette** (_drunk_): Guess who won $100 playing craps? (_shows Penny a chip_) **Penny** : That’s a dollar. **Bernadette** : Then guess who wildly over-tipped a cocktail waitress. ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/430 "2017-05-19T21:28:00Z")
Penny: You’re like a collectible action figure, and Ramona wants to collect you. Sheldon: But Amy’s already taken me out of my box and played with me! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2017, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/431 "2017-05-20T09:32:48Z")
I even stopped wearing lip gloss because you said it made my mouth look too slippery. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2017, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/432 "2017-05-20T11:15:20Z")
Leonard (helping Althea with the crossword puzzle): One across is Aegean, eight down is Nabokov, 26 across is MCM, fourteen down is-- move your finger, phylum, which makes 14 across Port-au-Prince. See, Papa Doc’s capital idea, that’s Port-au-Prince. Haiti. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2017, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/433 "2017-05-20T15:09:57Z")
Sheldon: Oh, hold on. While I’m comfortable speaking about science, I’m not sure I know how to spark the interest of schoolchildren. Better Google it. Howard: What exactly are you looking up? Sheldon: How do I get 12-year-old girls excited. Leonard and Howard (together): No! ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2017, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/434 "2017-05-20T15:37:06Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Sheldon: Oh, hold on. While I’m comfortable speaking about science, I’m not sure I know how to spark the interest of schoolchildren. Better Google it. > > Howard: What exactly are you looking up? > > Sheldon: How do I get 12-year-old girls excited. > > Leonard and Howard (together): No! Another time, when he was interested in mines, he Googled “hot, dark and moist.” “Oh, look! there’s a bunch of videos!” ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2017, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/435 "2017-05-20T15:40:34Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > The monkey in my tobacco study has taken to smoking a pipe. I’m supposed to remove his brain to examine, but it’s hard because now he reminds me of my uncle. **Amy** : You can get them [monkeys] addicted to harmful substances, remove their brains for study, but fling their own feces back at them, and suddenly you’re unprofessional. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2017, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/436 "2017-05-20T16:49:19Z")
[\*Penny is performing on stage in \*A Streetcar Named Desire _as Blanche DuBois_] **Sheldon:** When do we get to the part about the streetcars? … How can she remember all those lines, but as a waitress she can’t remember “no tomato” on my hamburger? ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2017, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/437 "2017-05-20T17:56:06Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > [\*Penny is performing on stage in \*A Streetcar Named Desire _as Blanche DuBois_] > > **Sheldon:** When do we get to the part about the streetcars? I did a scene from that in drama class when I was 14, and I was completely whooshed by the part about the streetcars too. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2017, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/438 "2017-05-23T12:44:43Z")
Hello, female children. Allow me to inspire you with a story about a great female scientist. Polish born, French educated Madame Curie. Co-discover of radioactivity. She was a hero of science until her hair fell out, her vomit and stool became full with blood and she was poisoned to death by her own discovery. With a little hard work I see no reason why that can’t also happen to any of you. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/439 "2017-05-27T23:54:41Z")
**Amy** (_drunk_): I came here to get a bottle of wine like Penny taught me to do when you’re sad. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2017, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/440 "2017-05-28T13:14:31Z")
It was a map, leading to the lost treasure of famous pirate One-Eyed Willy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=23)