# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2017, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/461 "2017-06-16T15:22:47Z")
Leonard: We don’t need strength. We’re physicists. We are the intellectual descendants of Archimedes. Give me a fulcrum and a lever, and I can move the Earth. (Trying to move the box) It’s just a matter of… I don’t have this. I don’t have this. I don’t have it! Sheldon: Archimedes would be so proud. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2017, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/462 "2017-06-17T11:56:39Z")
Why would anybody claim to be from New Jersey, if they weren’t? ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2017, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/463 "2017-06-19T21:40:23Z")
Take a picture of us together, make it good enough to go on mugs, calenders & posters! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2017, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/464 "2017-06-19T21:52:18Z")
Penny: You don’t think I’m smart enough. You just think I’m going to be a liability. Even though I totally just used “liability” correctly in a sentence. [_Amy nods at her._] ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2017, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/465 "2017-06-21T00:30:52Z")
You’re not supposed to be enjoying this. Then maybe you should spank me harder. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2017, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/466 "2017-06-21T07:52:13Z")
The next chapter’s about the potty training. Bed wetting. Masturbation. Basically if something came out of me, she wrote about it. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2017, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/467 "2017-06-23T06:49:58Z")
You’re sitting with a girl wearing whored makeup, let’s get on the dance floor & see if you can make me sweat through these dress shields! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2017, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/468 "2017-06-23T08:00:19Z")
You still go left! ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2017, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/469 "2017-06-23T10:22:32Z")
Let’s face it ~ In this dress…the perfect combination of Madonna & Whore! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2017, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/470 "2017-06-23T15:27:56Z")
Every time my Dad stayed out all night my Mom put hamster poop in his chewing tobacco. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2017, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/471 "2017-06-23T16:05:12Z")
You keep in mind my sharply wielded comments on [Yelp.com](http://Yelp.com) recently took down a Muffin Shop ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2017, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/472 "2017-06-25T09:20:27Z")
**Sheldon** : Amy, this isn’t easy to say. All relationships are difficult, but even more so when you’re in one with a person who struggles with everyday social interactions and frankly who can strike some people as being kind of a weirdo. **Amy** : Sheldon, you’re not a weirdo. **Sheldon** : I wasn’t speaking about me. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2017, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/473 "2017-06-25T20:03:04Z")
I have a kinda-sorta boyfriend playing with a toy train right now and you don’t hear me bitching about it! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2017, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/474 "2017-06-26T09:07:57Z")
**Howard** : [_singing to quarantined Bernadette, the other five backing him up_] If I didn’t have you Life would be blue. I’d be Doctor Who without the TARDIS. A candle without a wick, A Watson without a Crick. I’d be one of my outfits without a dicky. I’d be cheese without the mac, Jobs without the Wozniak. I’d be solving exponential equations that use bases not found on your calculator making them much harder to crack. I’d be an atom without the bomb. A dot without the com. And I’d probably still live with my mom. **Friends** : And he’d probably still live with his mom. **Howard** : Ever since I met you, you turned my world around. You supported all my dreams and all my hopes. You’re like Uranium-235, and I’m Uranium-238: Almost inseparable isotopes. I couldn’t have imagined how good my life would get, From the moment that I met you, Bernadette. **Bernadette** : [_choked up_] Oh, Howie! **Howard** : If I didn’t have you, Life would be dreary. I’d be string theory without any string. I’d be binary code without a one. A cathode ray tube without an electron gun. I’d be Firefly, Buffy and Avengers without Joss Whedon. I’d speak a lot more Klingon. Heghlu’meH QaQ jajvam [_Klingon for “Today is a good day to die.”_] **Friends** : And he’d definitely still live with his mom. **Howard** : Ever since I met you, you turned my world around. You’re my best friend and my lover. We’re like changing electric and magnetic fields, You can’t have one without the other. I couldn’t have imagined how good my life would get, From the moment that I met you, Bernadette. **Everyone** : Oh, we couldn’t have imagined how good our lives would get, From the moment that we met you, Bernadette. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2017, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/475 "2017-06-27T03:17:00Z")
Proxima centauri’s the nearest star The celestial bodies that follow are Alpha centauri A, Toli, Barnard’s Star, Wolf 359 Laland 21185, Sirius A, Sirius B BL Ceti, UV Ceti, Ross 154, Ross 248 Epsilon Eridani, Lac 9352, Ross 128 EZ Aquarii A, EZ Aquarii B EZ Aquarii C Procyon A. These are the stars that are nearest to me; Tra-la-la and Fiddle-dee-dee! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2017, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/476 "2017-06-27T06:16:47Z")
**Sheldon** : This table. It’s in square centimeters. I read it in square meters. Do you know what that means? **Amy** : That Americans can’t handle the metric system? ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2017, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/477 "2017-06-27T09:41:11Z")
How can you not know how to use glue? Did you ditch pre-school? Ya I was dating a second grader ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ``` ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2017, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/478 "2017-06-28T18:28:13Z")
**Bill Nye** : Wow, Arthur Jeffries. It’s an honor to meet you. My show never would have happened without yours. **Professor Proton** : That’s what I told my lawyers. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2017, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/479 "2017-07-02T17:53:12Z")
I think the message is, Look at the rack on that Scientist! ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2017, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/480 "2017-07-02T18:49:54Z")
I think the message is Look at the rack on that Scientist! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=25)