# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/61 "2016-12-27T21:30:33Z")
I’m glad I got that mocha. And you know what else I’m glad about? I bought you a brownie and I ate it in the car! ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/62 "2016-12-27T21:54:20Z")
And here’s Uranus! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/63 "2016-12-27T22:29:32Z")
**It’s not funny anymore, James** Then why am I laughing? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/64 "2016-12-27T23:46:26Z")
**Leonard:** My parents focused on celebrating achievements, and my being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/65 "2016-12-28T00:57:33Z")
Penny: Sheldon I need you Sheldon: To what? Penny:To take me Sheldon: I’m not taking you anywhere till you put a shirt on ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/66 "2016-12-28T03:59:21Z")
Tonight they’re running an episode with Bob Newhart. That man is a national treasure. **Professor Proton:** Oh this, this is weird. Most of my robes open in the back. **Professor Proton:** Oh wait, what is this? _Pulls out lightsaber and waves it around._ **Professor Proton:** _laughs_ Neat-O. **Professor Proton:** I’m uh, I’m, I’m going to need a band-aid. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/67 "2016-12-28T04:09:00Z")
I’ve got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem, I got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around, and an alcoholic who’s two tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/68 "2016-12-28T04:12:06Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Amy: I guess it must have been back when I was in the Girl Sprouts. > Bernadette: Girl Sprouts? > Amy: My mom made it up as an alternative to the Girl Scouts. She didn’t want me selling cookies on some street corner like a whore. This is also in the episode I am watching right now. Man this show is great. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/69 "2016-12-28T13:44:07Z")
Tepid water, please. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/70 "2016-12-28T13:53:55Z")
**Sheldon:** I believe the Szechuan Palace has been passing off _Orange_ Chicken as _Tangerine_ Chicken, and I intend to confront them. **Leonard:** If I were you, I’d be more concerned about what they’re passing off as _chicken_. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/71 "2016-12-28T14:05:27Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > **It’s not funny anymore, James** > Then why am I laughing? I came in to post this: Carrie Fisher: It’s not funny any more, James. James Earl Jones: Then why am I laughing? One of the best episodes ever. In tribute.☹ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/72 "2016-12-28T16:48:11Z")
**Penny:** Has Leonard ever dated any regular girls? **Sheldon:** Well, I assume that you’re not talking about digestive regularity, because I’ve come to learn that such inquiries are inappropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/73 "2016-12-28T17:18:06Z")
**Hawking:** You made an arithmetic mistake on page 2. It was quite a boner. **Sheldon:** No that can’t be right I don’t make arithmetic mistakes. **Hawking:** Are you saying I do? **Sheldon:** No of course not. I was just thinking…Oh gosh golly I made a boo-boo. And I gave it to Stephen Hawking. _faints_ **Hawking:** Great, Another fainter. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/74 "2016-12-28T17:23:26Z")
**Raj:** We just got back from that exhibit of those plasticized cadavers. **Howard:** Some of those skinless chicks were hot. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/75 "2016-12-28T18:19:26Z")
Apparently there is no law of diminishing comedic returns when it comes to space poop. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/76 "2016-12-29T03:49:34Z")
**Penny:** Oh come on I touched one onion ring. **Sheldon:** And then you put it back compromising the integrity of all the other onion rings. Now I’m in the mood for onion rings. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/77 "2016-12-29T04:09:55Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I came in to post this: > > Carrie Fisher: It’s not funny any more, James. > James Earl Jones: Then why am I laughing? > > One of the best episodes ever. In tribute.☹ I think I read that that was the first time the two of them ever met. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/78 "2016-12-29T04:23:31Z")
That’s pretty interesting. I had always just assumed that main actors would at least have lunch or dinner together even if they weren’t on screen together. **Penny:** What’s wrong? **Sheldon:** I don’t understand my food. Chinese noodles with Korean BBQ and a taco. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/79 "2016-12-29T04:42:32Z")
I can identify every insect and arachnid on the planet. Not that that’s going to keep me from having to move in with my daughter in Oxnard. And we’re not talking Oxnard at the beach. No! We’re talking Oxnard _ **in the onion fields** _. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/80 "2016-12-29T09:40:02Z")
**Leonard:** Whoa, I’ve dated plenty of women. There was Joyce Kim, Leslie Winkle… [_long pause indicating the end of the counting_] **Sheldon:** Notify the editors of The Oxford English Dictionary: The word “plenty” has been redefined to mean “two”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=5)