# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/101 "2017-01-02T01:22:58Z")
**Amy** : "Absolon hath kist hir nether ye, "And Nicholas is scalded in the towte. “This tale is doon, and God save al the rowte!” **Penny** : What the hell was that? **Amy** : Bernadette dared me to tell a dirty story. “The Miller’s Tale” by Chaucer is the dirtiest story I know. It would have been hidden in sock drawers if people had worn socks back then. **Bernadette** : I thought it was pretty spicy. (To anyone not familiar with it, it’s a pretty filthy story. Literal assholes are mentioned twice in the short part quoted here.) ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/102 "2017-01-02T07:27:03Z")
Penny: Happy Birthday to me, theres tears in the frosting, Happy Birthday to me ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/103 "2017-01-02T11:26:03Z")
**Sheldon:** I’m afraid I can’t allow that. Pursuant to Starfleet General Order 104, Section A, you are deemed unfit, and I hereby relieve you of your command. **Leonard:** General Order 104, Section A does not apply in this situation. **Sheldon:** Give me one good reason why not. **Leonard:** **BECAUSE THIS IS NOT _STAR TREK!_** ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/104 "2017-01-02T12:51:44Z")
LOL! 🙂 That has to be the episode where they dress up as Next Gen. characters and get their car stolen. Even if it’s not I’m still laughing my face off over here. God bless it I’m tired as hell. It’s 4 AM here. I only got out of bed cuz I couldn’t sleep and to watch some BBT episodes to contribute to this thread. Ok, I was going to quote the whole exchange but I think it’s funnier for just this bit. **Sheldon:** I’ll have you know Mahatma Ghandi wore no pants and a nation rallied behind him. **Sheldon:** My good man, now before you walk away, I know that I may appear deranged but I am in fact a world renowned physicist. Ask me the difference between a boson and a fermion. Ya go a head ask. Bosons have interger spin. Fermions have halfe interger spin. My legs are getting cold. Why won’t anybody help me? Thanks for starting this thread **panache45** it’s been a lot of fun. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/105 "2017-01-02T15:42:03Z")
> [@Brooky](#): > > Penny: Happy Birthday to me, theres tears in the frosting, Happy Birthday to me Uh, Amy… ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/106 "2017-01-02T19:48:19Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > That has to be the episode where they dress up as Next Gen. characters and get their car stolen. No, it’s an ep that has nothing whatsoever to do with _Star Trek._ It’s just Sheldon being… Sheldon. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/107 "2017-01-03T03:23:38Z")
_I just performed a sheldonectomy_. Careful, if you don’t get it all, it’ll only come back worse. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/108 "2017-01-03T13:45:23Z")
Ah, memory impairment; the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/109 "2017-01-03T15:19:20Z")
**Penny:** I’ll tell you what happened. We were young, we were very much in love, but we could only communicate through a time-traveling mailbox at my lake house. **Sheldon:** It’s not enough that you made me watch that movie, but now you mock me with it?! ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/110 "2017-01-03T16:51:54Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > No, it’s an ep that has nothing whatsoever to do with _Star Trek._ It’s just Sheldon being… Sheldon. Seriously? I am off my game. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/111 "2017-01-03T18:29:04Z")
I need to determine where in this swamp of unbalanced formals squats the Toad of Truth. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/112 "2017-01-04T07:35:04Z")
Raj: Howard lives with his Mom Howard:I live there to save money Raj: Ya he doesn’t need to buy food, he’s still breast feeding ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/113 "2017-01-04T11:20:41Z")
**Sheldon:** Good morning, Dr. Stephanie. I trust Leonard satisfied you sexually last night? **Leonard:** Oh, come on! Sheldon, we don’t ask questions like that. **Sheldon:** I heard you ask it over and over! How is it inappropriate for me to ask it once? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/114 "2017-01-04T14:16:06Z")
I thought hypochondria was an idiosyncrasy of Jewish people! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/115 "2017-01-04T14:49:27Z")
“A Neutron Walks Into A Bar And Asks How Much For A Drink. The Bartender Replies For You, No Charge” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/116 "2017-01-04T15:43:35Z")
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: Aquaman sucks! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/117 "2017-01-04T16:56:27Z")
Too bad it’s not French Toast Day. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/118 "2017-01-04T17:41:53Z")
**Penny:** A smart guy takes the nude photos of his wife off his cell phone before he tries to take nude photos of his girlfriend. **Leonard:** He tried to take nude photos of you? **Penny:** THAT’S WHAT YOU TOOK FROM THAT?! THE GUY IS _MARRIED!_ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/119 "2017-01-04T19:03:03Z")
Raj: I’m sorry I’m so late. I was on the phone with my mother. Bernadette: How is she? Raj: Pretty good. She bought the book _Eat, Pray, Love_, and used it to set my father’s Mercedes on fire. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/120 "2017-01-04T21:26:48Z")
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