# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2017, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/141 "2017-01-09T01:02:49Z")
Thor and Dr. Jones! Thor and Dr. Jones! One plays with lightning… The other plays with bones! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2017, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/142 "2017-01-09T01:51:27Z")
**Howard:** Let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today. **Penny:** Not with a thousand condoms, Howard. **Howard:** So there _ **IS** _ a number!? ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2017, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/143 "2017-01-09T15:46:02Z")
I can’t be in your debt, you might someday ask me to help you move, or kill somebody ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2017, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/144 "2017-01-09T17:41:45Z")
Raj: Boy, I’m so hungry today. I wonder why. Howard: Because you had sex the other night? Raj: You know what, that might be it. By the way, it isn’t like riding a bike. I fell off a few times. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2017, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/145 "2017-01-09T18:02:51Z")
**Stuart:** Ooh, Sheldon, I’m afraid you couldn’t be more wrong. **Sheldon:** “More wrong”? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation. **Stuart:** Of course it is; it’s a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it’s very wrong to say it’s a suspension bridge. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2017, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/146 "2017-01-10T14:36:37Z")
And I don’t know what happened in that bathroom, but I am not cleaning it up! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2017, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/147 "2017-01-10T15:29:10Z")
You’re not supposed to be enjoying this. _Then maybe you need to spank me harder_. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2017, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/148 "2017-01-10T18:45:51Z")
You know… I’m given to understand that there’s an entire city in Nevada… designed specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems… and replace them with new problems such as alcoholism, gambling addiction and sexually transmitted diseases. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2017, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/149 "2017-01-10T20:53:49Z")
Leonard: Oh, hey, Stuart. This is Penny. She’s looking for some comic books. Stuart: Oh, really? Blink twice if you’re here against your will. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/150 "2017-01-11T00:56:18Z")
What exactly does that expression mean, “friends with benefits”? Does he provide her with health insurance? ---
**Author:** ![SuperAbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@SuperAbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperAbe)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/151 "2017-01-11T01:47:38Z")
**Sheldon** : I lost this to Wolowitz in an ill-conceived cricket wager. **Penny** : What, do they have\* Wii Cricket\* now? Well, that can’t be very popular. ---
**Author:** ![SuperAbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@SuperAbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperAbe)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/152 "2017-01-11T01:53:39Z")
**Sheldon** : Why are you crying? **Penny** : Because I’m stupid. **Sheldon** : That’s no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/153 "2017-01-11T02:07:20Z")
> [@SuperAbe](#): > > **Sheldon** : Why are you crying? > **Penny** : Because I’m stupid. > **Sheldon** : That’s no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad. This is one of my favorites. **Sheldon:** My Kit-Kat has melted. All is lost. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/154 "2017-01-11T02:15:15Z")
I’m watching the episode where Sheldon pays Stuart to hang out with Amy so the gang can go to the movies. And Raj is sitting on his sitting stick. **Stuart:** You look like Tigger if Tigger looked like a jackass. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/155 "2017-01-11T05:17:40Z")
**Raj:** I’m a Hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life, we are rewarded in the next. Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I’m reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/156 "2017-01-11T14:09:19Z")
Knock, knock, knock, Penny? What’s up, buttercup? Knock, knock, knock,Penny? What’s the word, hummingbird? Knock, knock, knock, Penny? What’s the gist, physicist? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/157 "2017-01-11T14:25:21Z")
Penny: Hi. You know, you probably don’t want to go in there. Leonard: Why? What are they doing? Penny: You know, the only way I could explain it would be in a therapist’s office with dolls. Leonard (enters): Hoo-boy. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/158 "2017-01-11T18:07:56Z")
Penny: You really going to lie on the floor and pretend to be dead all night? Stuart: What do you think I was going to do at home? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/159 "2017-01-11T19:39:18Z")
_In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer, it’s directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion._ ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/160 "2017-01-11T21:34:55Z")
Soft kitty, warm kitty Little ball of fur Happy kitty, sleepy kitty Purr, purr, purr [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=9)