# Random Big Bang Theory quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196 "2016-12-20T00:24:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/161 "2017-01-11T22:52:03Z")
No, Mother, I could not feel your church group praying for my safety. The fact that I’m home safe does not prove that it worked. That logic is _post hoc, ergo propter hoc._ No, I’m not sassing you in Eskimo talk. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/162 "2017-01-15T06:27:01Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > **Howard:** I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons. > **Leonard:** On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species and someday he’ll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton. Next line: > [@](#): > > Penny: Okay, well, thanks for the nightmares. Sheldon Cooper: You heard her. How can I argue with me? Sheldon Cooper: It’s a waste of time. I might as well explain the laws of thermodynamics to a bunch of labradoodles. Ramona Nowitzki: Oh, funny. But the idea that you might be able to incorporate gravity, I have to tell you, I found it physically exhilarating. Sheldon Cooper: My hypotheses tend to have that effect. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/163 "2017-01-15T12:10:18Z")
**Sheldon:** Chickens are not, by nature, at all timid. In fact, when I was young, my neighbor’s chicken got loose and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house. **Raj:** Chickens can’t climb trees. **Sheldon:** Thank God. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2017, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/164 "2017-01-16T05:17:28Z")
All my friends love this story. They call you Clogzilla. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2017, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/165 "2017-01-16T10:14:42Z")
N/M I screwed this al lup. Lemme get a redo-over. Ha ha ha I even screwed up this uop. Classic me. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2017, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/166 "2017-01-16T10:26:22Z")
Ok. Lets try this again. > [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Knock, knock, knock, Penny? > What’s up, buttercup? > > Knock, knock, knock,Penny? > What’s the word, hummingbird? > > Knock, knock, knock, Penny? > What’s the gist, physicist? I;m up and can’t sleep but I’m tired as heck. So I’m watching TBBT episodes on the DVR because fuck it. **Sheldon:** Knock knock knock **Penny;** Who do we love? **Sheldon:** Penny **Sheldon:** Knock knock knock **Penny;** Who do we love? **Sheldon:** Penny **Sheldon:** Knock knock knock **Penny;** Who do we love? **Sheldon:** Penny ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2017, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/167 "2017-01-16T11:33:27Z")
**Sheldon:** Ugh. English pudding. You get yourself all exitied for pudding and here comes a cake with raisians in it. I’m not going. **Amy:** You’re going. **Sheldon:** Why do you hate me? **Amy:** I Don’t hate you. I love you. **Sheldon:** Well, you call it Love but love it has a lot of raisians in in it. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2017, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/168 "2017-01-16T11:38:08Z")
**Leonard:** I’ve always been a little confused about this— why don’t Hindus eat beef? **Raj:** We believe cows are gods. **Sheldon:** Not technically. In Hinduism cattle are thought to be like gods. **Raj:** Do not tell me about my own culture Sheldon! In the mood I’m in, I’ll take you out, I swear to cow! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/169 "2017-01-18T01:11:36Z")
_I’m a vegetarian. Except for fish. And the occasional steak, I love steak!_ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/170 "2017-01-18T01:48:26Z")
**Raj:** [_After Sheldon offers him a job_] Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I would rather swim butt-naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple, and then die a slow agonizing death from viral infection, than work with you. **Sheldon:** _For_ me. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/171 "2017-01-18T14:16:31Z")
Sheldon: Why do you even want this here? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose. Raj: Well, seeing as its purpose was to piss you off, I’d say it’s spot-on. ---
**Author:** ![Brooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Brooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brooky)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/172 "2017-01-19T05:16:39Z")
I’ll do it providing I can do the Ceremony in Klingon ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/173 "2017-01-19T07:25:51Z")
**Bernadette:** Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you’ve had a healthy lunch? **Howard:** My mother calls me at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/174 "2017-01-19T17:29:55Z")
Stuart: Oh, Sheldon, I’m afraid you couldn’t be more wrong. Sheldon: More wrong? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation. Stuart: Of course it is. It’s a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it’s very wrong to say it’s a suspension bridge. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/175 "2017-01-19T17:41:06Z")
You’d better find my husband’s mother, because one way or another, we’re walking out of this airport with a dead woman! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/176 "2017-01-19T18:10:23Z")
**Bernadette:** I couldn’t ride a bicycle because my mother was afraid I’d hit a bump and lose my virginity. **Howard:** Oh, wow. You didn’t, did you? **Bernadette:** Not on a bicycle. In a Camry. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/177 "2017-01-19T21:37:24Z")
Corolla! ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2017, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/178 "2017-01-20T03:21:08Z")
From the episode when the boys get back from the Arctic. **Sheldon:** Hi Mom, no I told you I’d call you when I got home. I’m not home yet. Alright. I’m home. The Arctic expedition was a remarkable success. I’m all but certain there’s a Noble Prize in my future. Actually I shouldn’t say that. I’m entirely certain. No Mother I could not feel your church group praying for my safety. The fact that I am home safe does not prove that it worked. That logic is post hoc ergo proctor hoc. No, I’m not sassing you in Eskimo talk. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2017, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/179 "2017-01-20T03:44:11Z")
**Sheldon:** [_writing_] Cause of accident - lack of adhesive ducks. Okay, medical history … When was your last menstrual period? **Penny:** Oh, Next question! **Sheldon:** I’ll put ‘in progress’. Okay, moving to psychiatric disorders, list all behavioral diagnoses e.g. depression, anxiety etcetera. **Penny:** Oh, my God! What the hell does this have to do with my stupid shoulder? **Sheldon:** [_writing_] Episodes of sub-psychotic rage. **Penny:** Ass! **Sheldon:** Possible Tourettes. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2017, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196/180 "2017-01-20T14:41:17Z")
Penny: Leonard, you’re back. Leonard: Yeah, I just stopped by to say… (she grabs him and kisses him) Yeah, so, hi! Penny: Hi! (They stumble, kissing, into her apartment and slam the door shut) Howard: Dammit, I should have gone over and told her we were back. Raj: Yeah, it was first come, first served. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-big-bang-theory-quotes/775196.md?page=10)