# Random Homosexual Mailing **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 1, 2000, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269 "2000-05-01T17:24:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ellis555](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e36b37/32.png) [@ellis555](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ellis555)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/1 "2000-05-01T17:24:31Z")
[disclaimer] mods - I’m not sure where to post this. I have a feeling that, if anyone replies to this, it’ll end up here in G.D., so that’s where I’m starting it. Feel free to boot if you think it’s too mundane or pointless. [/disclaimer] Here’s the story. I’m a male college student. A few days ago, I received in the mail a letter bearing as a return address a P.O. box in Cambridge, MA. This struck me as being a rather odd place to receive junk mail from (the address was computer printed, not hand-written, so I knew it wasn’t personal correspondance). For kicks, I opened it up. And got this. “Hello. At the risk of seeming weird, I am mailing this letter to male students at a few of the country’s top colleges. I graduated from Harvard recently, and this is my situation: I am attracted to guys, but not to any of the gays I have met. Since I can meet and get to know only so many people, I decided to try the unorthodox but more exhaustive approach of sending out this letter.” That was just the opening paragraph. He goes on to explain that he has found all the gays that he has met too effeminate, and of “depressing lewdness.” He concludes with “If your situation is similar to mine, or if you feel differently but you are interested in what I have said, you can reach me at this address.” I thought that this might be an elaborate joke from one of my buddies at Harvard, but then four friends of mine here at school received this letter as well. And the four of us don’t have any mutual friends at Harvard. This leaves me with the conclusion that this is all legit (bolstered by continued reports of others across campus that I don’t know personally receiving this letter). What I’m wondering is what this guy hopes to accomplish. Is it truly legit, and this is some lonely gay guy hoping to find a soul-mate through a mass mailing costing him at least a couple hundred dollars? Or is it some homophobe sending out some subtly bigotted letter for reasons known only to himself? I seek the input of the teeming millions. -ellis the letter is five paragraphs long. i’ll post it all if anyone wants to read it, but this was already shaping up to be a long-winded. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/2 "2000-05-01T20:48:22Z")
How perfectly bizarre. Is it an individual’s letter, or is it obviously a mass-printed letter? I’m wondering if this isn’t something like what some e-mailers do when they send a “personal” e-mail massively, and when you reply by saying, “Who are you?” they then use your e-mail address for some kind of mailing. I’d love to read the letter, myself. Hey, maybe I could get a date out of it. 😃 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/3 "2000-05-01T21:15:35Z")
Nothing to add except, another great band name - “Random Homosexual Mailing” ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/4 "2000-05-01T21:18:47Z")
Hes a lonely gay homophobe:D ---
**Author:** ![Me\_Joe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecccb3/32.png) [@Me\_Joe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Me_Joe)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/5 "2000-05-01T21:22:08Z")
My thoroughly biased and wholeheartedly skeptical opinion is that this letter you received is a scam and the sender is hoping to trap you in some kind of blackmail plot. I think the sender is unquestionably a homophobe, based on his claim that all gay men he meets are “effeminate” and “depressingly lewd.” He is very definitely wearing blinders of some sort if this the only type of gay man he has met. But to my mind this letter is really designed to play upon the latent hompophobia that exists in closeted gay people who might receive this letter. What the sender very likely hopes to achieve is for this letter to fall in the hands of some lonely and fairly isolated young gay man who does not have much exposure to the gay community at large and believes the WRONG stereotypes that all gay men – except him – are limp-wristed pansies. This closeted gay man would write back and make plans to meet your letter sender, at last relieved at having found a kindred spirit, only to get a blackmail note in response: “Pay me money or I’ll tell everyone on your campus just what a faggot you really are!” The fact that the letter came addressed personally to you and your friends but with a computer label suggests to me this isn’t a single guy but a fairly extensive operation. Anyone could buy your names & addresses from a mail-order catalogue service or credit card companies who maintain lists of their customers which they sell to other mail order businesses, but NOT to individual people. Also it seems particularly fishy that he is targetting specifically college students such as yourself. College kids would, presumably, have access to money (being from middle to upper class families) and generally would feel they have a lot to lose if they were “outed” (“daddy might cut you off if he finds out your dirty secret.”) This guy is hoping to shake you down. Do closeted college gay men everywhere a favor and foreward a copy of that letter to GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation). ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/6 "2000-05-01T22:10:39Z")
Okayyyyyy… So, he wants to meet a nice closeted gay guy who isn’t the least bit effeminate or lewd? Well, what the hell were personal ads invented for? I think I’ll go with fat angel on this one. ---
**Author:** ![ellis555](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e36b37/32.png) [@ellis555](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ellis555)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/7 "2000-05-02T02:47:09Z")
Our campus paper has chosen to cover the issue, and its say on the matter can be found at [http://daily.stanford.org/Daily99-00/05-01-2000/news/NEWletter01.html](http://daily.stanford.org/Daily99-00/05-01-2000/news/NEWletter01.html). I don’t really see the blackmail angle. I’ll accept that a few people might be willing to pay up to avoid being “outed,” but I’d assume that those people wouldn’t respond in the first place. But I also have trouble accepting that this guy is for real. So, right now, my money is on option c), elaborate joke. -ellis ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/8 "2000-05-02T03:14:56Z")
Hmm, fat angel’s angle seems a bit skewed, but it’s the best one I’ve seen so far… ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/9 "2000-05-03T12:53:32Z")
From fat angel. My thoroughly biased and wholeheartedly skeptical opinion is that this letter you received is a scam and the sender is hoping to trap you in some kind of blackmail plot. I think he’s right. Can you see this as a “Law and Order” episode? ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/10 "2000-05-03T13:25:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Our campus paper has chosen to cover the issue, and its say on the matter can be found at [http://daily.stanford.org/Daily99-00/05-01-2000/news/NEWletter01.html](http://daily.stanford.org/Daily99-00/05-01-2000/news/NEWletter01.html). > > -ellis > \*\* That link didn’t work for me .☹ But I searched the site and found [this](http://daily.stanford.org/daily99%2D00/05%2D01%2D2000/news/newletter01.html) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/11 "2000-05-03T13:36:28Z")
spooje said: > [@](#): > > Can you see this as a “Law and Order” episode? Actually, something similar was used in an L&O episode a few years back- a convict advertised in the personals section for people interested in ‘correspondence’; the gay men who wrote back to him were blackmailed. I see two likely possiblities here- A) Mass marketing. Write back to this guy and you’ll never hear from him again, but you’ll start getting interesting catalouges in the mail. B) Blackmail. Write back to the guy and you’ll get a letter stating that for a hundred bucks he won’t send a copy of your letter to your parents, friends, campus newspaper, etc. I have to agree with fat angel and lean towards blackmail. Oh, and if anyone ever mails me a random homosexual, I’ll forward him to you, Esprix. ---
**Author:** ![GLWasteful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f05b48/32.png) [@GLWasteful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GLWasteful)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/12 "2000-05-03T14:03:04Z")
**John Corrado** : > [@](#): > > Oh, and if anyone ever mails me a random homosexual, I’ll forward him to you, Esprix. You mean that you’ll actually **accept** them, **Esprix**? Because I can barely walk in my house anymore, what with so many of these unsolicited homosexuals that are piling up. Why, just the other day, I was saying to Bruce and Dirk. . . Waste Flick Lives! ---
**Author:** ![ellis555](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e36b37/32.png) [@ellis555](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ellis555)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/13 "2000-05-03T16:26:41Z")
Thanks for the correction on the link, yojimbo. Esprix, and anyone else interested, here’s the letter in its full form. "Hello. At the risk of seeming weird, I am mailing this letter to male students at a few of the country’s top colleges. I graduated from Harvard recently, and this is my situation: I am attracted to guys, but not to any of the gays I have met. Since I can meet and get to know only so many people, I decided to try the unorthodox but more exhaustive approach of sending out this letter. When I first set about meeting other gays, I did not believe the stereotypes. However, the gays I have met strike me as different from straight guys, although to varying degrees. Most seem to me effeminate in speech, mannersims, or looks. The ones who are relatively “straight-acting” tend to strike me as neuter or bland. It’s not that I am looking for someone especially “macho,” but I can’t feel attracted to a guy who doesn’t seem masculine to me. I also find depressing the lewdness of many of the gays I have met. Please don’t write back only to tell me how much you disagree. I feel what I fell; I just want to ind someone I like. I certainly don’t need it to be someone who reacts to other gays the way I do. As I watch my heterosecual friends experience romance, intimacy, even heartache, I sometimes feel as if I could instantly become close to anyone gay as long as he is decent. However, in my sober moments I realize that I have other needs as well - being with someone with whom I can share my thoughts, whether he agrees or not, someone who tries to look at the world through his own eyes, someone I can value as a friend. About myself, I majored in Government, focusing on political philosophy, especially Nietzsche. I play tennis and soccer, I lke many old movies, and I enjoy reading, conversation, and debate. My favorite authors include Stendhal, Dostoevsky, J.D. Salinger, Asimov, and P.G. Wodehouse. If your situation is similar to mine, or if you feel differently but you are inaterested in what I have said, you can reach me at this address. (I’ll be moving to California later this year.) Boxholder PO Box 381178 Cambridge MA 02238" Assume any blatant speeling errors occurred when I typed this sucker up. By problem with the black mail option remains as mentioned before - not enough people willing to pay up. It’s not like the average college student has a wife or boss to hide his sexual orientation from. Additionally, out of those who do reply, you’d have to figure that some are serious. Then, when they receive the second letter pumping them for cash, they call the cops. -ellis ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/14 "2000-05-03T16:27:07Z")
Blackmail, solicitation for mailing address, whatever - it’s still a scam. Junk it. And **GLWasteful** and **John Corrado** , I have enough random homosexuals myself - they keep following me home, and the dustman won’t touch 'em. (Sorry, Monty Python reference there.) Esprix ---
**Author:** ![GLWasteful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f05b48/32.png) [@GLWasteful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GLWasteful)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/15 "2000-05-03T17:32:18Z")
Esprix: > [@](#): > > And **GLWasteful** and **John Corrado** , I have enough random homosexuals myself - they keep following me home, and the dustman won’t touch 'em. (Sorry, Monty Python reference there.) Damn! And I just spent all morning boxing them up, and calling FedEx. Waste Flick Lives! ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/16 "2000-05-03T17:54:57Z")
Stendahl? If it’s a hoax, it’s a sophisticated one! The blackmail angle is a possibility, but another is that it is an attempt to whip up some some hate. “Look, they’re everywhere, they won’t leave you alone, they’re coming on to you.” It would be designed to worry those who are not politically active, but could be prodded to be if they think gay people might harass them. In the highly unlikely event that it is serious, the guy is seriously fucked up, and besides, you’d always be running to the post office. picmr ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-homosexual-mailing/18269/17 "2000-05-03T18:13:22Z")
I think it’s an art project. I recall reading a few years ago about a NYC artist who mailed letters detailing his daily life as a queer artist to the residents of a small town in North Carolina. I don’t remember his name or what he hoped to accomplish, but I think there was a documentary made about it called “Letters to Jesse.” My local video store, I think, has a copy of it, so when I stop in there later today I’ll check out the back of the box.