# Random Star Trek Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Tags:** star-trek-paramount\ **Created:** [September 10, 2014, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112 "2014-09-10T20:43:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 85
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2016, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1682 "2016-11-12T10:17:16Z")
I know you don’t think this chair is important, but you’re wrong. What’s the most critical component on this ship? The main computer? The Warp Reactor? Huh…?! It’s the crew. And the most important member of the crew is the captain. He makes life and death decisions every day, and the last thing he needs to be thinking in a critical situation is: ‘Gee! I wish this chair wasn’t such pain in the ass!’ ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2016, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1683 "2016-11-20T06:08:21Z")
Mister Worf, escort our Ferengi guests to quarters. Not too close to mine. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2016, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1684 "2016-11-20T17:47:56Z")
You are a sham! My words were as dust upon the ground. Your blood has no fire! You are weak like them! I don’t care what you look like! _YOU ARE NO KLINGON!_ ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2016, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1685 "2016-11-20T18:24:42Z")
But only a machine, Mister Spock. The original Landru programmed it with all his knowledge but he couldn’t give it his wisdom, his compassion, his understanding, his soul. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2016, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1686 "2016-11-20T21:03:45Z")
Computers make excellent and efficient servants, but I have no wish to serve under them. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2016, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1687 "2016-11-20T22:53:10Z")
Computer, calculate Pi to the last digit. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2016, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1688 "2016-11-20T23:40:03Z")
Scotty: Hello, computer. Dr. Nichols: Just use the keyboard. Scotty: Keyboard. How quaint. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2016, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1689 "2016-11-21T00:01:10Z")
**Chakotay:** There’s a story I heard as a child, a parable… I never forgot it… A scorpion was walking along the bank of a river, wondering how to get to the other side… when suddenly he saw a fox. He asked the fox to take him on his back across the river. The fox said no… I’ll get halfway there, and you’ll sting me, and I’ll drown. But the scorpion assured him… if I did that, we’d both drown. The fox thought about it and finally agreed. So the scorpion climbed up on his back, and the fox began to swim… But halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the fox. As the poison filled his veins, the fox turned to the scorpion and said why did you do that? Now you’ll drown, too. I couldn’t help it, said the scorpion. It’s my nature. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2016, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1690 "2016-11-21T02:40:06Z")
(The same parable is mentioned in _The Crying Game_) It was far easier for you as civilised men to behave like barbarians, than it was for them as barbarians to behave like civilised men. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2016, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1691 "2016-11-21T12:09:32Z")
An abysmal place, Earth. A thousand years ago it had character: Crusades, Spanish Inquisition, Watergate… Now it’s just incredibly dull. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2016, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1692 "2016-11-21T16:48:33Z")
Vash: It’s over, Q, I want you out of my life. You’re arrogant, you’re overbearing and you think you know everything. Q: But… I _do_ know everything. Vash: That makes it even worse. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2016, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1693 "2016-11-21T17:42:20Z")
Lt. Cmdr. Data: The Captain and many of the crew are not yet convinced he is truly human. Guinan: Really? Q: Owww!!! Guinan: Seems human enough to me. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2016, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1694 "2016-11-21T21:17:30Z")
The best way to bring down a ruler is to make his people suffer. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2016, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1695 "2016-11-21T22:13:58Z")
**Q:** You _hit_ me! _Picard_ never hit me! **Sisko:** I’m _not_ Picard. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2016, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1696 "2016-11-22T01:31:17Z")
MCCOY: I won’t shoot Nancy. SPOCK: This is not Nancy. If she were Nancy, could she take this? MCCOY: Stop it! Stop it, Spock! Stop it! SPOCK: Is that Nancy, Doctor? MCCOY: No. No! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2016, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1697 "2016-11-22T05:14:08Z")
I never answer questions from plebes, Jimmy-boy. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2016, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1698 "2016-11-22T12:52:37Z")
A question. Since before your sun burned hot in space and before your race was born, I have awaited a question. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2016, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1699 "2016-11-22T15:22:18Z")
Baby needs a new pair of shoes. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2016, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1700 "2016-11-23T01:54:54Z")
Sour the milk! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2016, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112/1701 "2016-11-23T04:36:30Z")
When you touch the engines, you’re fondling my breasts. not an exact quote [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112.md?page=84) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/random-star-trek-quotes/698112.md?page=86)