Randomly rotten customer stories

The BBQ Pit
61

My best: Working at Subway, as a sandwich slave. It was in the food court of a mall and got really, really busy around lunch hour on weekdays from local offices. This was a weekday; it finally slowed down around 2:30, and I was in front cleaning the counters and such. A customer came up with the remnants - less than half - of a previously-purchased sandwich. Without waiting for me to say anything, he threw it down over the counter, at my feet. “There aren’t words to describe how fucking awful this is! What the fuck gives you the right to serve shit like this to your paying customers?”

Now, I’d served somewhere around a hundred, hundred fifty customers in the past hour or so. I have no idea if this guy was amongst them. A glance at the spatter around my feet tells me it was a meatball sandwich, but for all I know, he could have gotten it from another Subway down the street. “I’m sorry, sir - I can go and get the manager from the back, and he’ll refund your money.” I start to do so, and the man screams, literally, “Don’t you dare fucking walk away from me!”

Luckily, my manager (who was actually a dumber-than-rocks prick, but that’s another issue) heard that from the back, and came out to deal with it. He gave the guy his money back on the condition that he didn’t ever return.

62

I used to work at Hollywood Video, and I swear, someone would ask that same question nearly every night. “No, of course you don’t need an account. We’ll just let you pay $3.79 for this $30 DVD without having a clue who you are or where you live. Of course you’ll bring it back in the next five days; we trust you!”

Nearly everyone of these boxes of hair who were surprised at needing an account to rent movies brought huge effin’ stacks of DVDs to the counter. Made worse by the fact that Hollywood Video policy stated that new customers could only have three (or five, I don’t remember) movies out at a time, to protect us from getting screwed over big time by people who set up phony accounts and never returned.

63

Too many years of customer service…so…many stories.

There was the kid at the state park who wanted to pay for a $4 day pass with a $100 bill. He stopped laughing when I gave him $96 back in ones.

There was the man who decided to argue with everyone in earshot when the person dropping off the rented camp trailer refused to buy a permit for entry (a whopping $4). The man from the trailer rental did this every year. Said he was dropping off a trailer for a camper so he counted as a vendor. When we told him that vendors are authorized by the state and that everyone else had to pay, he called the person renting the trailer and got them to pay and scream at us. My coworker in the booth had to hold me back on that one.

Then there are the general categories. Your drunks, cheapskates, those that refuse or cannot read and make you read everything for them, the ones that get mad when you cannot instantly give them what they want. Oh so many to choose from.

64

Just yesterday, I had possibly the most brilliant call I’ve had in my entire career as a phone-monkey…

Sierra Indigo: This is Sierra, how can I help you?
The Brain Surgeon: Yes, I topped up my prepaid internet, I think it’s wrong.
SI: {After performing mandatory ID check} Okay sir, you’ve topped up a 25 hour prepaid card, and there’s 25 hours that’s been added to your account. What seems to be the problem?
TBS: I should get double hours. There’s only 25 hours, I should have 50
For a few months, up until the 31st of May this year, The Company was giving double bonus prepaid hours to all customers. But that ended, and hasn’t been brought back
SI: Uh, I’m sorry sir but you purchased a 25 hour card, and that’s how many hours you’ve been given. We did have a double bonus hours promotion, but that expired over a month ago, on the 31st of May.
TBS: I don’t care. When I purchased my intial prepaid starter kit (In May) I was told all prepaid kits and topup vouchers were double hours.
At this point I figured the customer got the topup card when he’d purchased the initial kit, and was going to cut him some slack and add some extra hours
SI: So when did you purchase this topup voucher sir?
TBS: Today. And I want my double hours.
SI: No sir. The promotion ended on the 31st of May, we can’t give you the extra hours.
TBS: But I was told by your salesman…!
SI: Were you told this today?
TBS: No. When I purchased my initial kit. They said all cards topped up with double hours, and everything would be okay.
SI: But you weren’t given information that said this today
TBS: I took my kit in today and asked about topping up and they said to do it online and everything would be okay
SI: Well if you were given incorrect information today about the service, then you’d best go back to the store and ask to speak to the manager, because if the staff at their store are giving customers the wrong information, the manager needs to be made aware.
TBS: But it’s your store. You fix it.
SI: I’m sorry, sir. But the store is a franchise, and the first point of contact for a dispute is the store manager.
TBS: Get me your manager!
So I go and get my manager. He has the same argument with the customer, going around in circles for about another ten minutes. The whole time he’s speaking quietly and calmly, and the customer is getting more and more hysterical.
TBS: You’re abusing me. Stop shouting! I want to cancel my account and get a refund.
Manager: Certainly sir, but because you purchased this card from a {Company Name} store, you’ll have to take the card back there and discuss it with the manager there. We can’t do anything from this end.
TBS: You’re kidding me. You have to be kidding me, right? I expect 50 hours so I should get 50 hours.
Man: Were there any signs in store saying you’d get double hours?
TBS: No. But your staff should have told me the promotion wasn’t on any more.
Man: Did you ask them if the promotion was on, when you didnt’ see any posters?
TBS: No. But why should I, they should tell me! I would not buy 25 hours for $20. That’s not in my nature!
Man: No they shouldn’t sir. If you think something should be happening, but there’s no notification of it, then you are the one who needs to ask. The staff at the store aren’t just going to say to every customer ‘Are you aware that we had a promotion that’s now ended two months ago?’.
TBS: Stop shouting at me, you’re shouting at me.
After a few more minutes of this, the call ended with the customer saying that because he was expecting the bonus hours, we should give them to him regardless of when he purchased the card in question.

65

tdn, I think you should know that after reading your post, I was laughing so hard I was literally incapacitated for something close to five minutes. Couldn’t even maneuver the mouse to scroll down.

I needed that.

66

I’d have responded: “Ah! Always happy to help a Class C customer!”

And after inevitably having my ass handed to me, I’d have riposted: “And you never even gave me any gum!”

67

Huge hijack…

For some strange reason, I thought you worked for the state? I thought you’d said in a long ago thread that you worked for one of the largest employers in the state. I must have been hallucinating. :slight_smile:

At any rate, back to the OP. tdn, you about killed ME with that last line.

I previously worked for a large chain gym, and I used the think the SAME damn thing at closing. It wasn’t just one customer, but several different ones.

NO morons, “close at 11pm” does NOT mean do your last rep at 11pm and then shower and steam at your leisure for the next 20 minutes. I had a couple of people actually argue with me when it was after closing that they “only had a few more sets”.

LORD I’m so glad I’m back in the enviro biz (MPSIMS moment, I GOT my new job, I start Monday…WoOOOOO HOOOO).

68

This reminds me of a time I worked in a clothing store. This Sunday it happened to be Daylight Saving Time, and we’d set the clock back one hour.

Anyway, about ten minutes after closing, some irate woman comes tapping on the door, demanding to know why we closed nearly an hour early and to open up immediately. An employee pointed out that it was Daylight Saving Time, and we were closed at the proper time.

Sometimes it feels so good to be right. :wink:

69

I have a co-worker who I’ve stopped going out to lunch with.
Point 1, he’s a complete as*hole.
Point 2, out of 10 times I went to lunch with him, 9 times he sent food back. One time, the cottage cheese “tasted sour”. (I had the same cottage cheese, same visit to the restaurant. It was fine.) Another time he sent steak back for being “undercooked.” Fine and dandy. When it arrived again, he sent it back. Again. Try pulling that shit and not being late coming back from a 1 hour lunch break.
I’m convinced he sends shit back just to annoy the people working at the restaurant.
Regarding Coldwater Creek… you know, I take the opposite view. Since I think pants are worth $20, tops, I figure you guys can throw in a nicw wooden hanger. How much did that hanger cost you? $2, tops? How much mark-up was on those pants? $20, minimum? $30? $40? They make this crap in the 3rd world, and fabrics aren’t expensive at wholesale. I figure your manager just decide that if the customer wanted to negotiate for $2 off on a $40 item, he was just doing a 5% off sale and still making money on her per transaction. I have no problem negotiating with a retail outlet about something. If you don’t want to accept my terms, just say so. I won’t shoplift it, but I can damned sure ask for 75% off anything in the store.

70

Yeah, worked for AHFC for about five years, then over to ASRC, then restructured on my ass into the street (fuckin’ Native corps). Now I’m selling RVs. How the mighty have fallen. . .

71

I was a local telephone operator for about two years. I’d get about 1000 calls a day. Even the bad customers blur into each other after a while.

I do remember one morning, though…I wasn’t feeling particularily well, to boot, and one of my first customers comes in. She’s a customer of a different phone co. which contracts with the company I worked for for operator services. Anyway, she wants to be transferred to the business office for her company “but not to that automated system!” I feel for her, because I have gathered in the past that her company has a particularily poor and hard to navigate system. In cases where people are having trouble with any automated system (because, unfortunately, operators do not have magic powers to get through automated systems, answering machines, voice mail, or just the ringback tone to automatically reach the live person that they “know” is there) we were instructed to advise them to simply hold on the line and not press anything at all…since that is what a person with a rotary dial phone would have to do, often that will get you a live person (you may have to wait for the menu to repeat.)

I apologized for her trouble, explained that I would connect her, and was just about to tell her to hold on the line and wait for the live person–when I suddenly heard a blood-curdling scream through my headphones! Thinking that maybe something had happened–a gunman appeared, she was chopping vegetables and chopped off a finger, who knows?-- I asked, “Are you all right?” and she starts ranting and raving and swearing at me. I said, “Ma’am, I’d be glad to connect you, but screaming isn’t necessary.” (My head is starting to pound at this point.) Well, that sets her off for another round of screaming and swearing, so I’m about to transfer her to the supervisor…when she just hangs up! Just like that.

Oh, I’ve got more…but I remember more of the “wacky” customers than the assholes. We’d get a lot of calls from mental hospitals and nursing homes. The nursing home calls could sometimes be heart-wrenching…those people often didn’t even know where they were, or they’d be trying to reach someone in their building for help with something and didn’t know how. We’d get a call from one old lady occasionally who’d be trying to call her mother at the same phone number that she was calling from…I’m sure that her mother was long dead, and she must have inherited the house and that telephone number. :frowning:

72

A funny story. Now imagine being strictly on a commission basis and having that happen to you, only with the punch line being “Well, we’re actually going to be buying one of these down in Virginia”.

73

I work casual shifts at a trophy store, and have done for the last 6 years (from when i was 12). We have a consistently rotten customer. He comes in each year and orders 2000+ trophies, medals, plaques and perpetuals for his soccor club, threatening the whole time to “never come back if youse don’t get this all perfectly right, cos I knows plenny of other places that would just love my business”. UH HUH.

We have a running tally on how many times he comes in during the month/2 months it takes to put together his order. 1 point for a phone call, 2 for a visit. Last year he wracked up 43 points over a 7 week period. Everytime it’s pointless, just to check, to see if he can have his order three weeks early (very impossible, and again pointless because we know when his club presentation is), to threaten us again with taking his business elsewhere. In such a small working environment (I have only 4 more colleagues), he’s not simply annoying, but disruptive and ARGH!!! We’ve been tempted to send him somewhere else, but unfortunately money is money.

More regular rotten-ness includes customers who end up ordering trophies they don’t need. So they go home with the items, break them, then return them for a full refund claiming it’s our fault.

74

Well, this is actually a “decent manager story,” but I’ve got a point, so bear with me…

It was my first job, working as a cashier at the local Genovese drugstore. Some guy starts yelling at me about something or another. I calmly tell him that if he has a problem, that he should see the manager. He yells some more, growing more and more agitated at the fact that I’m staying calm, and repeatedly directing him to the managers office. Finally, he stomps off. He comes back from the manager’s office hollering about how I’ll be fired, etc. I just ignored him.

But I was really nervous inside. It was the first time a customer had gone off on me, and I didn’t want to be fired or even reprimanded. So I wait for the manager to come chew me out. And I waited and waited and waited, feeling more nervous all the time. Finally, the manager comes around, and doesn’t say anything about it. I work up my nerve and ask her about that “earlier customer.”
Manager: :confused: What customer?
Me: You know, the one who was mad at me?
Manager: Huh? Oh yeah. That guy.
Me: Well?
Manager: Well, what?
Me: He was really mad at me.
The manager, now realizing that I’m worried about the incident, laughs, and say “Eh, that guy was nuts. Don’t worry about it.”
And since then, I’ve never been willing to work for a manager who would take the word of a crazy customer over my word. Sure, I’ve had managers try and appease the crazy customers by “agreeing” with them while they were still in the store, but never have I had one that actually acted on any demands from the crazy person to fire or punish me or a coworker (assuming no actual wrongdoing on the employees part, of course.) I wouldn’t put up with that kind of treatment.

Which brings me to my point: Why on earth do these people believe that a store would fire someone solely on their say-so? Decent employees are hard to come by. Nutty customers aren’t. Some retail managers are idiots, but most are practical sorts. If a customer makes a stink about an employee that the manager knows, through many hours of observation and a lack of previous complaints, to be competent and polite, the manager will probably conclude that that the most likely explanation is that the customer is a looney, or maybe just having a really bad day.

75

On the positive side, the perfect Christmas gift for these people is obvious: sweaters!

76

A quote which just cries out to be followed by “I’m Brian Fellows!”

77

I am a public defender in a semi-rural county in Georgia. My clients frequently assume that, since I’m a public defeder, I suck, and they complain about my services for no apparent reason.

 One guy, who was charges with murder, really really hated me.  He thought everything I did was wrong.  He was charged with murder several years ago.  His lawyer got hiim acquitted and is now the chief judge in my circuit.  Everytime I talked to him prior to trial, he started out every sentence with, "When Mr. ---- represented me...".  It didn't llok good.  The victim was found in his apartment, stabbed to death,  The knife was found in his car, with the victim's blood on it.  There was an eyewitness who said my client did it.  My client testified at trial that it was the eyewitness who actually did it.  The state had impunded his car as evidence.  

 I worked my ass off on that case, and I had a herniated disc when I tried it.  I couldn't take anything stonger than Motrin, because, you know, I was trying a freakin' murder case.  The trial lasted for 3 days, and the jury was out for 90 minutes.  

 Not guilty.  

 Two days later, my client called me and bitched at me because he didn't ahve his car back.  He never, ever thanked me.  When he called me, I said, "Look, Mr. ---, let's put things in perspective.  You are NOT serving your second day of a life sentence.  I will call the county attorney, who will get your car back to you".  He hung up on me.  

 And he kept the clothes I bought him for trial (It's unconstitutional to try 'em in jail clothes, so I spend a lot of Sunday nights at Target buying trial clothes).
78

I thought about starting this thread last December. Working as a bell ringer, I had to deal with my share of assholes. I’ll clue you all in so you don’t have to deal with our wrath: up north, it’s cold! Whatta shocker! When I’m dancing from foot to foot in a pathetic attempt to stay warm, it does not make me happy to see you mocking me by imitating an ape.

The next one that irked me happened when I was ringing outside of Shopko. Another clue for you: I work for a non-profit (or so they like to think of themselves); I do NOT work for the corporation who have kindly let us set up shop in front of their doors. Therefore, if you ask me for directions to Wal-Mart, I’m going to give them to you. It makes no difference to me (as in, I don’t give a flying fuck) where you choose to spend your money. But for you to have the gall to mock me on the way to your car when you’re finished shopping just pisses me off. I’m spending my days being NICE, not trying to figure out when you’re being sarcastic.

The last one made me cry. It was closer to the holiday, colder than cold. My lips were numb, my jaw was numb, and I still had 3 hours left on my shift. You’re lucky if you get a “hello” on your way in and a “have a nice evening” on your way out. When I’m that cold, I would rather not have to deal with consonants that require lips to be pressed together (Ms, Ps, etc). I gave an older “gentleman” a friendly hello and a smile. He paused, backtracked to where I was standing, thrust his face so it was two inches from mine, and snapped, “Merry Christmas!” I gave a half-smile, knowing that I would trip over that phrase and hoping the smile would satisfy him and get him out of my face. Oh, no! This time he shouted it. I mumbled, while my eyes filled, the same phrase. I ran away for a break, sucking down two cigarettes in 7 minutes, wishing I had a spine and replied, “Happy fucking Chanukah, asswipe!”*

The sad part is that, as much as I hated it, I will apply for the same job this year. It’s really good money around here, since it’s based on Oregon’s minimum wage (where they admit that the cost of living has risen) versus Idaho’s (which is still at federal minimum).

*Christianity and Mormonism are the rule here, not the exception. That would have pissed him off (yay!), but it also would have torked my boss (highly Jesus-oriented - duh).

79

This, whyNot, is the opening for your biography.

Just thought you should know.

:slight_smile:

80

No fair!!! That’s from my post!!! Waaaaaaaa!!!