# Rank and Rate the Presidents **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 14, 2009, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918 "2009-07-14T00:46:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/41 "2009-07-16T04:27:04Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Meh. I don’t think anybody really knew how crazy Mugabe was, and it never would have happened had Ian Smith and the white government not created the atmosphere in which radical movements of any political ideology were bound to thrive. Well we did know that he wasn’t the democratically elected leader that the people had chosen for themselves. That should count for something. Blame whitey doesn’t work with Mugabe, Ian Smith is not responsible for him. The people of Zimbabwe held an election and elected someone else. Mugabe with his Marxist terrorists refused to accept this and Jimmy Carter welcomed Mugabe to his table. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/42 "2009-07-16T04:28:05Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > I give props to those who preserved the country’s existence, which covers 1-4, and credit Teddy for just being supremely awesome. Teddy Roosevelt might actually have been the most awesome head of state since Alexander the Great. Alexander the Great was an atrocious head of state. There have been literally millions of superior heads of state since Alexander. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/43 "2009-07-16T06:27:40Z")
You didn’t specify the criteria by which we judge them. Therefore, on the basis of hairstyles\*, my top 3 US presidents (1 being the best) is as follows: \*Photos used for reference are the ones on wikipedia. 1. Andrew Jackson (Democrat, 1829-1837) – “Oh my God. It’s alive.” As many of you will know, Jackson’s hair, was actually a semi-sentient being and was responsible for saving Jackson’s life on a number of occasions during the war, usually by clutching at grasses to drag Jackson’s unconcious body out of harms way, and once or twice by performing sexual favors in exchange for food. Jackson also pioneered the eyebrow slash (which made a brief re-appearance in the late 1980s), courtesy of a British officer/stylist during the revolutionary war. Jackson’s hair required no brushing, washing or trimming, and could maintain prefect condition with merely a monthly treatment of beeswax and raw steak. One had to be careful not to stare at Jackson’s hair directly, which was often mistaken for a threat, wherein Jackson would have to beat a playa down. Unfortunately, history records this as a frequent occurance. 2. James Madison (Democrat-Republican, 1809-1817) – “Groomed for greatness” A great student of languages and the natural sciences, Madison, is regarded by many today as the father of the Constitution. What many don’t know, however, is that he may also be considered the father of the functional haircut. Superior aerodynamic styling, shallow profiles and cambered airfoiling, meant that Madison could be shot from a cannon further than any living human at the time. If thrown from a plane, which did not yet exist, he could accelerate to terminal velocity much quicker than any man (although to Madison’s everlasting regret, this was never pysically tested). Not only that, but if viewed from the front, Madison’s haircut described the exact distribution curve of his first presidential election results. In this subtle way, people interracting with Madison could not help but be reminded of the man’s stature as president, and Madison was able to psychologically exert alpha male dominance over them. 3. James K. Polk (Democrat, 1845-1849) – “Business up the front, party in the back” Admired for his ability to set an agenda and to achieve it, Polk was a man who wanted to have it all. Not content with either growing his hair out wild-stylie, or with keeping it neat and trim, Polk decided to have his cake and eat it too with his revolutionary mullet cut. The mullet protected his sensitive neck from the cold and from Mexicans, who were constantly trying to get at it. Polk also knew that in order to properly display his fine plumage, a neck brace was a necessity. As you can see in the portrait of his presidential coin, Polk used a series of metal struts to keep his neck in the proper position, chin high, so that, even if his slaves were locked up, his locks could flow free. _snif_ ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/44 "2009-07-16T13:33:46Z")
OK, if we can rank by hairstyles, we can rank by their taste in First Ladies. 1. [Frances Folsom Cleveland](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frances_Folsom_Cleveland_Preston). Even by today’s standards, a looker. 2. [Julia Tyler](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julia_Tyler). “The Rose of Long Island.” 3. [Harriet Lane](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harriet_Lane). Acting First Lady for Uncle James Buchanan. 4. [Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacqueline_Kennedy_Onassis). Not a great beauty, but her elegance is unforgettable. 5. [Michelle Robinson Obama](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelle_Obama). Classic good taste. 6. [Grace Goodhue Coolidge](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_Anna_Coolidge). Stylish. ETA: Oh, and Honorable Mention: Eleanor Roosevelt Roosevelt. It ain’t all about what’s outside. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/45 "2009-07-16T13:38:36Z")
Whoah. Frances Cleveland looks just like Jodie Foster. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/46 "2009-07-16T13:44:47Z")
The first was a stunner. The others not so great. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/47 "2009-07-16T14:04:25Z")
I should have added Laura Welch Bush. Pretty lady. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/48 "2009-07-16T20:18:50Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > Alexander the Great was an atrocious head of state. There have been literally millions of superior heads of state since Alexander. I think you’re really missing the point of “awesome.” And have there even BEEN millions of heads of state since Alexander? Only about 2400 years have passed since then. If the average head of state rules for 5 years, that’s 480 heads of each identifiable nation-state ever since. To have “millions” of heads of state there’d have to be over four thousand states in the world, which obviously there have not been, and ALL of them would have to be worse than Alexander. But it doesn’t matter. He was _awesome._ ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/49 "2009-07-16T22:05:08Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > OK, if we can rank by hairstyles, we can rank by their taste in First Ladies. > > 1. [Frances Folsom Cleveland](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frances_Folsom_Cleveland_Preston). Even by today’s standards, a looker. Hijack: > [@](#): > > A longtime close friend of Oscar Folsom, Grover Cleveland, at age 27, met his future wife shortly after she was born. He took an avuncular interest in the child, buying her a baby carriage and otherwise doting on her as she grew up. And then fell for her romantically. Ew. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/50 "2009-07-17T00:53:52Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Hijack: > > And then fell for her romantically. Ew. It’s rather pedophilic, isn’t it. I wonder what the media would have made of it had a Presidential candidate done it to-day. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2009, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/51 "2009-08-16T01:24:23Z")
Bumped ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2009, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/52 "2009-09-05T01:25:22Z")
Revised list. I’ve now added Clinton and reordered the other Presidents. The Presidents in the Greatest to the Least Greatest Order: 1. Abraham Lincoln (Republican, 1861-1865) 2. Franklin Roosevelt (Democrat, 1933-1945) 3. George Washington (None, 1789-1797) 4. Harry Truman (Democrat, 1945-1953) 5. Theodore Roosevelt (Republican, 1901-1909) 6. James K. Polk (Democrat, 1845-1849) 7. William McKinley (Republican, 1897-1901) 8. Dwight Eisenhower (Republican, 1953-1961) 9. Thomas Jefferson (Democratic-Republican, 1801-1809) 10. Ronald Reagan (Republican, 1981-1989) 11. Richard Nixon (Republican, 1969-1974) 12. Lyndon B. Johnson (Democrat, 1963-1969) 13. John F. Kennedy (Democrat, 1961-1963) 14. James Monroe (Democrat-Republican, 1817-1825) 15. George H.W. Bush (Republican, 1989-1993) 16. John Quincy Adams (Democratic-Republican. 1825-1829) 17. Chester A. Arthur (Republican, 1881-1885) 18. William Howard Taft (Republican, 1909-1913) 19. John Adams (Federalist, 1797-1801) 20. Rutherford B. Hayes (Republican, 1877-1881) 21. Benjamin Harrison (Republican, 1889-1893) 22. Grover Cleveland (Democrat, 1885-1889, 1893-1897) 23. Gerald Ford (Republican, 1977-1981) 24. William Clinton (Democrat, 1993-2001) 25. Andrew Jackson (Democrat, 1829-1837) 26. Woodrow Wilson (Democrat, 1913-1917) 27. Ulysses Grant (Republican, 1869-1877) 28. Andrew Johnson (National Union, 1865-1869) 29. Martin Van Buren (Democrat, 1837-1841) 30. Calvin Coolidge (Republican, 1923-1929) 31. Herbert Hoover (Republican, 1929-1933) 32. James Carter (Democrat, 1977-1981) 33. John Tyler (Whig, 1841-1845) 34. Warren Harding (Republican, 1921-1923) 35. James Madison (Democrat-Republican, 1809-1817) 36. Milliard Filmore (Whig, 1850-1853) 37. Franklin Pierce (Democrat, 1853-1857) 38. James Buchanan (Democrat, 1857-1861) ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/53 "2009-09-05T14:37:39Z")
I don’t know, it doesn’t resolve linearly. The really constructively good ones were also the scary imperialists sometimes. Top two is easy: 1. Geo. Washington 2. F. D. Roosevelt Then maybe: 3. L. B. Johnson 4. T. Roosevelt After that, meh. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2009, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/54 "2009-09-05T15:21:35Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > I don’t know, it doesn’t resolve linearly. The really constructively good ones were also the scary imperialists sometimes. > > Top two is easy: > > 1. Geo. Washington > 2. F. D. Roosevelt > > Then maybe: > 3. L. B. Johnson > 4. T. Roosevelt > > After that, meh. What about Abraham Lincoln? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2009, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/55 "2009-09-05T16:42:11Z")
Loses points for forgetting to wear bulletproof hat. Am I missing something or did you leave Bush II off the list? ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2009, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/56 "2009-09-05T17:34:05Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Loses points for forgetting to wear bulletproof hat. > > Am I missing something or did you leave Bush II off the list? He’s too early to rank. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/57 "2009-09-06T00:33:04Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > He’s too early to rank. Certainly he can be ranked. As time goes on, he may move up or down, but his term is over, and he is now part of history. I’m not going to try to rank all of them. 1. Washington 2. Lincoln 3. F. Roosevelt 4. L. Johnson 5. T. Roosevelt … 1. Harding 2. Nixon 3. G. W. Bush 4. Tyler 5. Buchanan ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/58 "2009-09-06T00:58:52Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > Certainly he can be ranked. As time goes on, he may move up or down, but his term is over, and he is now part of history. > > I’m not going to try to rank all of them. > > 1. Washington > 2. Lincoln > 3. F. Roosevelt > 4. L. Johnson > 5. T. Roosevelt > > … > > 1. Harding > 2. Nixon > 3. G. W. Bush > 4. Tyler > 5. Buchanan Well at least you didn’t rank Bush as the worst ever. Also why in the world is Nixon so low? Other Presidents were just as corrupt as him, they just didn’t get caught. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/59 "2009-09-06T01:29:59Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > Well at least you didn’t rank Bush as the worst ever. Of course not. Buchanan fiddled while Rome burned, and Tyler set the stage for the only real actual war of conquest (disregarding the Indian wars, which I probably shouldn’t do) in U.S. history. (Polk is also pretty far down my list.) > [@](#): > > Also why in the world is Nixon so low? Other Presidents were just as corrupt as him, they just didn’t get caught. Now who’s being naive? Nixon set new standards beyond simple corruption, a standard of such criminality that it enabled him to go from annihilating McGovern to being the only President who would actually have been convicted after impeachment in only 21 months. But that’s not all, though it’s a large part. I also think that a very large part of what he did as President was wrong. He also (as with Bush) pushed the projection that his political opponents were not real Americans, but were untrustworthy enemy sympathizers. And lastly, I got stung by a bee while in line for a tour of the White House two days before he resigned. Will that do to go on with? ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918/60 "2009-09-06T01:33:46Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > Of course not. Buchanan fiddled while Rome burned, and Tyler set the stage for the only real actual war of conquest (disregarding the Indian wars, which I probably shouldn’t do) in U.S. history. (Polk is also pretty far down my list.) > Now who’s being naive? Nixon set new standards beyond simple corruption, a standard of such criminality that it enabled him to go from annihilating McGovern to being the only President who would actually have been convicted after impeachment in only 21 months. > > But that’s not all, though it’s a large part. I also think that a very large part of what he did as President was wrong. He also (as with Bush) pushed the projection that his political opponents were not real Americans, but were untrustworthy enemy sympathizers. > > And lastly, I got stung by a bee while in line for a tour of the White House two days before he resigned. > > Will that do to go on with? I’m sorry about you getting stung by the bee. ☹ But what about President John F. Kennedy, who is widely believed to have been guilty of fraud in the 1960 Presidential election in Illinois and Texas and who certainly had Mafia connections? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rank-and-rate-the-presidents/502918.md?page=4)