# Rant about my girlfriend and I sexual experience **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 11, 2010, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390 "2010-09-11T07:38:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/41 "2010-09-11T17:23:49Z")
All her experiences up until now have made her what she is today. You love her for what she is today. Since you can’t get past this, you aren’t ready for her. The only way, according to your feelings, to get past this would be for you to go out and have sex with other women. Is that really what you want? Because those really are your only two choices, the way you’ve laid it out. Accept her for who she is, or go out and even the score. Which makes more sense? ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/42 "2010-09-11T17:30:59Z")
> [@TNWPsycho](#): > > Am i just being too uptight.? Is 4 partners for a 23 year old a lot? How can i just get over this? I have had 4-5 this year alone… I’m a slut I guess. Then again, since I am a guy, thats called lucky bastard. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/43 "2010-09-11T17:47:41Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > > [@TNWPsycho](#): > > > > Am i just being too uptight.? Is 4 partners for a 23 year old a lot? How can i just get over this? > > I have had 4-5 this year alone… > > I’m a slut I guess. > > Then again, since I am a guy, thats called lucky bastard. 😃 I don’t know. The year is almost over. You had better pick up the pace a little. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/44 "2010-09-11T17:55:53Z")
> [@TNWPsycho](#): > > Well i met this girl when i was 19, am now 20 and planning to propose soon. > > She makes me happier than i’ve ever been, we are absolutely perfect for eachother. > > The only thing that bugs me is our sex partners. > > I lost my virginity to her, and have stayed faithful throughout our relationship. > > She on the otherhand has had 4 other partners. One resulting in marriage and a child. She promises she has stayed faithful to me. > > Growing up in a strict Roman Catholic family. Four sex partners seems like a lot. It just bugs me all the time. And i really really really want to marry this girl, she is amazing. > > Am i just being too uptight.? Is 4 partners for a 23 year old a lot? How can i just get over this? I think your religion has over-romanticized your views. Your post has “tragedy waiting to happen” written all over it. Wait – not just because waiting in general is good advice at your age, as others have mentioned – but because you in particular don’t sound ready. At all. You sound hopelessly in love – and blind. How do you get over it? If you’re so out of touch that you’re wondering if 4 partners is a lot, you don’t have to get over “it”, you have to get over _yourself_. Wait another five or ten years. You’ll likely have broken up with her, or her with you, and slept with another ten women. You’ll have grown up a bit and likely be in much better shape to judge whether someone is “the one” at that point. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/45 "2010-09-11T17:56:27Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > > [@TNWPsycho](#): > > > > Am i just being too uptight.? Is 4 partners for a 23 year old a lot? How can i just get over this? > > I have had 4-5 this year alone… > > I’m a slut I guess. > > Then again, since I am a guy, thats called lucky bastard. 😃 That depends entirely on the attractiveness of your partners. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/46 "2010-09-11T18:04:52Z")
Can you explain, with logic, why having 4 sex parters by the age of 23 makes someone likely to be unfaithful? You obviously believe this is true, according to your OP your GF has given you absolutely no reason to doubt her fidelity except her extremely minimal history of fucking people who are not-you. Yet you don’t believe she has been faithful with you. What reason do you have for that belief? Perhaps if you say out loud “A woman who has sex voluntarily and isn’t ashamed of her whorishness is inherently untrustworthy” you will realize how fucking stupid that sounds. You are DEFINITELY not ready to marry this person and EXTREMELY NOT READY to be a father. As others have said, get over yourself. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/47 "2010-09-11T18:09:54Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Can you explain, with logic, why having 4 sex parters by the age of 23 makes someone likely to be unfaithful? Maybe they were all at once.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/48 "2010-09-11T18:10:22Z")
I am curious as to what happened with her first marriage. Did they try to work it out? Sticking with something for a while is a good sign for a future marriage. Has she told you all about it? ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/49 "2010-09-11T19:20:07Z")
Apparently, she was expected to be faithful to him \*before \*they met. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/50 "2010-09-11T19:21:02Z")
> [@Turek](#): > > Apparently, she was expected to be faithful to him \*before \*they met. They were still soul mates, even if they’d never met. ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/51 "2010-09-11T19:28:02Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Fo watch a couple early Kevin Smith movies and relax. [mumbles][chasing amy.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFw7Myb34zw)[/mumbles] ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/52 "2010-09-11T19:34:09Z")
No, 4 is not a lot. Trust me virginity is way over-rated. > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > The partners aren’t that big a deal (although if she admits to 4, **it’s probably really more like 12**. I just knew I could count on you. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/53 "2010-09-11T19:36:17Z")
It’s just an old joke about self-reported sex partners. Lighten up. ---
**Author:** ![IaMoDiNaRy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@IaMoDiNaRy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IaMoDiNaRy)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/54 "2010-09-11T20:56:14Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > The partners aren’t that big a deal (although if she admits to 4, it’s probably really more like 12. Great! Now he’s gotta worry about her not only being a slut but a liar, too! I bet this poor guy is just feeling better by the minute. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/55 "2010-09-11T21:08:38Z")
> [@IaMoDiNaRy](#): > > > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > > > The partners aren’t that big a deal (although if she admits to 4, it’s probably really more like 12. > > Great! Now he’s gotta worry about her not only being a slut but a liar, too! I bet this poor guy is just feeling better by the minute. :eek: If he’s been following the forums close enough he’d know that she’s likely got herpes and Borderline Personality Disorder, too. ---
**Author:** ![IaMoDiNaRy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@IaMoDiNaRy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IaMoDiNaRy)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/56 "2010-09-11T21:24:12Z")
Four sex partners at 23 is not a lot and does not make her a **bad** girl. And what she did before she met you shouldn’t matter and should only be your business if she wants it to be. I think by the fact that you’re worrying about this really shows your immaturity and I say this respectfully, not as an insult. Why would you spend ANY time thinking about her “banging” some other guy when it was in the past? Is she the only girlfriend you’ve ever had? I’m sure you entertained the thought of sex with them, right? You mentioned being Catholic so think about it this way. According to the bible, those “thoughts” make you just as “guilty” as she is. 😉 SO, why don’t you just call it even and let it go, for the sake of your relationship. I totally agree with the others. You’re far too young to be contemplating marriage. You should be planning and working on your education and having fun, not planning a marriage. I, too, wonder about this 23 yr old girl wanting to marry a 20 year old. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/57 "2010-09-11T21:53:58Z")
> [@thirdname](#): > > > [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > > > Fo watch a couple early Kevin Smith movies and relax. > > [mumbles][chasing amy.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFw7Myb34zw)[/mumbles] And of course… [THIRTY SEVEN???](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94wGndbOIPk) ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/58 "2010-09-11T22:21:43Z")
> [@IaMoDiNaRy](#): > > Great! Now he’s gotta worry about her not only being a slut but a liar, too! I bet this poor guy is just feeling better by the minute. :eek: I always heard “Good Catholic Girl” referred to skills, not morals. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/59 "2010-09-11T23:28:45Z")
I strongly encourage you to listen to AClockWorkMelon’s advice to wait on the proposal. Most of us end up changing a lot between 20 and 25 and you may come to realize you aren’t the same person with the same goals/interests in a few years. You may still be with her then but you may not be. If she has any sense, she would probably prefer to wait too because it would look really sketchy if she ended up divorced twice by her early 20s. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/60 "2010-09-12T00:05:36Z")
Heh! Poor little OP is jealous because he’s only had relations with Mr. Hand, and the beloved has had the real thing 4 whole times! She does not need a ‘great big’ little kid to raise along with her own ‘little’ little kid. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390.md?page=4)