# Rant about my girlfriend and I sexual experience **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 11, 2010, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390 "2010-09-11T07:38:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/61 "2010-09-12T01:08:54Z")
> [@lavenderviolet](#): > > I strongly encourage you to listen to AClockWorkMelon’s advice to wait on the proposal. Most of us end up changing a lot between 20 and 25 \ Heh - I mis-read this as “chasing a lot between 20 and 25” - well, that works, too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Grapefruit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@Grapefruit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grapefruit)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/62 "2010-09-12T02:07:07Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > > [@thirdname](#): > > > > [mumbles][chasing amy.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFw7Myb34zw)[/mumbles] > > And of course… [THIRTY SEVEN???](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94wGndbOIPk) In a row?! ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/63 "2010-09-12T04:08:33Z")
Several things come to mind here. 1. You are not ready to get married. 2. Four partners? Are you kidding? Four in one night might be a problem, but four since she started dating? Not an issue. 3. You know that thing she does that drives you wild? You need to get on your knees and thank the one of her former partners for teaching her that. She was not born with that skill, some one helped her learn it. Just like if you break up and get a new girlfriend, if you do something that drives the new GF wild, she needs to thank your current GF for teaching you that move. 4. You are too young to get married. ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/64 "2010-09-12T05:58:58Z")
I’m pretty new here, so it feels a bit awkward giving anyone advice, but mine is - WAIT! Don’t rush into things. As far as the number of partners - 4 is not a lot, even at 23. Everyone has a past, don’t get hung up on hers TNWPSYSCHO. You wrote that she wants to be with you “forever.” Is there such a thing? Can any of us really predict time and how we will feel in the future about our current partners? People change & evolve as time goes by…and not always in a way that ends up being compatible with who you first were when you met. I know this from experience. You two are so young. I didn’t think of myself as an adult until I was in my 30’s and had my first child. Almost 2 decades later my character/personality is pretty much what it will be…but, I’m still changing in other ways, learning life lessons, dealing with my flaws…working on them. I can tell you this for sure…if your girlfriend had been a virgin when you met her…eventually, and inevitably she would start wondering about other people as sexual partners. It’s natural to do so even if you’ve had others, but in my opinion probably even more so if you had not. Mellow out…and wait. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/65 "2010-09-12T07:58:31Z")
> [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](#): > > > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > > She’s already been knocked up, married and divorced before she was 23. And now you’re 20 and after dating her for a year you want to propose? People are fickle; **I really suggest waiting a few more years (yes, years) before proposing.** That advice isn’t specific for you- that’s good advice for everyone. > > This. > > Read this again. > > Now read it again. > > One more time. > > No - read it again. > > Did you get it? > > Please, for the sake of your life which is just beginning, WAIT. Trust us old folks. I can’t help but hear this in the Old Spice “The Man Your Man Could Smell Like” voice. ---
**Author:** ![serious\_lark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@serious\_lark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/serious_lark)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/66 "2010-09-12T19:10:06Z")
Just because she has had more sexual partners than you and more total sexual experience than you does not make her either promiscuous or untrustworthy. When she tells you that she is being faithful in this relationship and you’re worried because she has had sex with others before you and she became an item? If you cannot trust her on that basis alone (as opposed to her being demonstrably untrustworthy in other ways) then please get out of the relationship now, sow those wild oats until you can stop feeling jealous and insecure. You clearly didn’t wait until you were married to engage in sexual intercourse, so don’t wave the Catholic beliefs flag to tell us that you couldn’t do that . Even if you decide you can trust her and you can get over this insecurity, please do not propose anytime soon. I concur that you are not ready to proceed to a lifetime contract with this lady, and not with anyone until you have gotten some more life experience, matured, etc. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/67 "2010-09-12T19:35:03Z")
I got married when I was your age, and we didn’t even have the extra responsibility of a child. Don’t do it. Just don’t. Enjoy what you have now, and if you’re still hot for each other in a couple of years, then go for it. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/68 "2010-09-12T19:52:02Z")
I’d be a lot more worried about the divorced-with-a-child-by-age-23 than the 4 sex partners part. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/69 "2010-09-12T20:12:13Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I’d be a lot more worried about the divorced-with-a-child-by-age-23 than the 4 sex partners part. > > Regards, > Shodan They’ve been together for a year, so presumably it was divorced-with-a-child-by-age-22, which I agree is worrisome. Still, if it was her thread I’d tell her to rethink getting seriously involved with this man who clearly has jealous and immaturity issues unless she wants to shoot for divorced-twice-by-26. ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/70 "2010-09-12T20:41:17Z")
Everything is different for everyone, and sometimes you hear a story about a couple that’s been married for 60 years who started out when they were kids themselves, so that helps you justify what you want to do here versus what you should be doing. I don’t blame you. I’m pretty stubborn m’self. I got married when I was barely 22 and my husband 23. I thought it was the thing to do. 16 years later, we’ve been through hell and back together a number of times. You wouldn’t believe how difficult it is to keep a marriage together when bad shit happens. Without getting into details, (there’s enough for a good size book) even though we’re solid as a rock now, it’s been HARD, and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. We are both completely different people than we were when we started out together. We’re lucky, but also kind of unconventional people, so we have that going for us. Please don’t do this now. I know you don’t feel like you’ve got time, but you are going to change and grow so much. The potential for hurting both of you is way too high. The romantic ideal of bucking the odds is a myth at best and an outright bullshit lie at worst. People married for 60 years have skeletons in their closet that would fry your hair off. You aren’t prepared to start mounting your army of skeletons. You shouldn’t have any. I know you’re getting a lot of “should” and “don’t.” That’s poison to any romantic young man, so I don’t know if any of it is making a shred of difference, but I can’t help but try. If my 38 y.o. self went back to talk to my 22 y.o. self, I doubt I’d have an easy time convincing me what I’m in for. That, however is exactly what you’re getting here. Us older folks are an amalgam of what your future self is, and we’re trying to get to you to tell you the future. I can’t wait for you to reach your 30’s and think back to the person you are now. You will be astonished. I promise. Try to remember these words and see if I’m not right. Especially the amalgam part. You won’t see that until it’s too late, but you will see it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/71 "2010-09-12T21:33:23Z")
> [@IaMoDiNaRy](#): > > > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > > > The partners aren’t that big a deal (although if she admits to 4, it’s probably really more like 12. > > Great! Now he’s gotta worry about her not only being a slut but a liar, too! (snip) Or just bad at math! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/72 "2010-09-12T22:07:34Z")
Perhaps said girlfriend got married at 20 like the OP plans to, and then found it was a big mistake? Hmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/73 "2010-09-12T22:53:13Z")
> [@TNWPsycho](#): > > I just hate the thought of her banging some other guy i guess. Whether it be a past partner or future. > > Sounds more like jealousy i guess. > > Yes, we have spoken, and she says it isnt a big deal to her. **She says she found the one she wants to be with forever now.** Dude - put the jealousy on a leash. Take that statement and run with it. Or as has been said: I’d rather be in bed with her calling out his name than have her be in bed with him calling out my name. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/74 "2010-09-12T23:01:36Z")
> [@TNWPsycho](#): > > Am i just being too uptight.? Is 4 partners for a 23 year old a lot? How can i just get over this? The forgiveness Christ offers. Jesus accepts anyone who requests it without question or issue. You are to become the Christ figure for her, don’t reject her. She needed that experience to find you, as I’m sure you have sinful tenancies that made you who you are and found her as a result. She needs to know that no matter what her past is, that she is accepted and loved. She needs to know that god chose to dwell in the hearts of men. Reject her and you refuse the grace that Christ is offering all of us, and you, not she will bear the penalty. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/75 "2010-09-12T23:07:00Z")
Break up with her. Bang four women. Get back together. Now you are even. Because in marriage, its really important to hold grudges, make sure everything is fair, and keep tit for tat. Marriages work best that way. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/76 "2010-09-13T00:17:17Z")
You apparently started having sex with her before you were certain you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her, given that you haven’t yet proposed. Well, she also started having sex with people before she was certain she wanted to spend the rest of her life with them, too. The only difference is that her uncertainty turned out to be justified, in a few cases. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/77 "2010-09-13T00:19:30Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Break up with her. > > Bang four women. > > Get back together. > > Now you are even. Because in marriage, its really important to hold grudges, make sure everything is fair, and keep tit for tat. Marriages work best that way. I agree with everything here except the breaking up part. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/78 "2010-09-13T00:34:33Z")
Did anyone else notice the op’s thread [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=577859)? I wonder if they’re related. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/79 "2010-09-13T00:43:57Z")
Why get married? Why not just live together? It makes it easier to break up. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390/80 "2010-09-13T00:44:05Z")
> [@guinastasia](#): > > did anyone else notice the op’s thread [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=577859)? I wonder if they’re related. lololololol [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-about-my-girlfriend-and-i-sexual-experience/553390.md?page=5)