# \[RANT\]My two best friends are, put bluntly, fuckups **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 3, 2015, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-my-two-best-friends-are-put-bluntly-fuckups/721503 "2015-06-03T04:49:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2015, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-my-two-best-friends-are-put-bluntly-fuckups/721503/21 "2015-06-05T14:47:08Z")
> [@Grey\_area](#): > > Well that’s one way of looking at it. Actually kind of an inaccurate way. > > One, I don’t “talk shit about achievement and fuck-up-itude to [my] friends.” I agree, if I mouthed off to them about how awesome I am and shitty they are because I’m not doing so well and I feel insecure, I think they would they’d be completely justified in wanting to see me fail. But I never did that. I don’t “talk shit” by criticizing them or lecturing them or whatever. To be honest I’ve been tempted to in the past. But like you suggest, who am I do to that when I can’t get my own shit straight? > > On that point, though I didn’t do great academically, it’s not like my career is over before it began. I still have opportunities. And I’m not bitter at all. Not about my career at least. Maybe a bit disappointed in myself but I’m not sure who or what I’d be bitter towards. > > Basically, I am not having an easy time of it, and I cannot look to my friends for support. I think I have been there in their times of need, and they’re not here for mine. There weren’t here for my times of success(?) as well, which isn’t as big of a deal. I chalk it up to the disparity of “achievement” between them and me, maybe wrongly so. > > Anyway, even with your interpretation **bump** (where I’m a fuckface and my friends are justified in wanting me to fail), you agree that they want me to fail. Which still sucks for me, even though I’m a fuckface. MY point wasn’t that they want you to fail, it’s that you’ve set yourself apart, by judging them to be “fuckups”, and yourself to be some kind of achiever, when in fact, you’re all three in the same boat. You’re not having success at your law career at the current time, even if you did make it through law school and passed the bar in your state (I assume you passed). Another of them basically had to get set up with a job, and the third did have a good job in the military for a while, and is at least trying to go to school, even if he didn’t make a particularly wise choice of colleges. Friendship is mostly about unconditional love and support, and when it’s not, it’s about unflinching honesty. I mean, you should be happy for your friend who has the job set up by his in-laws. Clearly he wasn’t able to get there on his own, but now he’s better off. Hooray! Your buddy who was in the Army may need a bit of a “come to Jesus” talk about his for-profit college, but again, he’s on the right track overall- that’s something to celebrate, not look down your nose at him for. Your situation would be similar- **Grey area** graduated from law school and passed the bar! Let’s all be happy about it. But it sounds more like you’re disgruntled/disenchanted about your career, or lack thereof, and somewhere along the line haven’t been as supportive of your “fuckup” friends as they might have liked and have probably had a bit of an arrogant attitude about them, and now that you’re upset and struggling, and they’re engaging in a bit of schadenfreude as a result of your attitude toward them. And you’re offended even more because these two “fuckups” have the temerity to not be as supportive as you _think_ you deserve from them. See where the problem is? ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2015, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-my-two-best-friends-are-put-bluntly-fuckups/721503/22 "2015-06-05T18:39:52Z")
I’ve had a few friends, who when they couldn’t reach up to my level on some matter, did their best to drag me down to their level. You can find new friends. You’re stuck with family; however, you can just ignore them. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2015, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-my-two-best-friends-are-put-bluntly-fuckups/721503/23 "2015-06-06T02:38:14Z")
Eh, if they don’t live to **Grey Area** ’s standards, than they don’t live to his standards. Life happens, we move on. If he wants to dump them, by all means, go ahead. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-my-two-best-friends-are-put-bluntly-fuckups/721503.md?page=1)