# Rant or Trolling? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 24, 2002, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612 "2002-07-24T18:00:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/41 "2002-07-24T23:54:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*I have nothing to say on this matter. \*\* Ditto. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/42 "2002-07-25T00:08:52Z")
I’m just digusted because _I_ posted the first parody of Fenris’ parody thread, and yet he comes over here and fights with Lib, ignoring me. I don’t feel wubbed anymore. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/43 "2002-07-25T00:17:11Z")
How d’ ya think _I_ feel? **Lib’s** damned parody thread has gotten more responses than my original one! Talk about kicking someone when they’re down! Fenris, neglected attention whore ---
**Author:** ![Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/db5fbb/32.png) [@Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fred)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/44 "2002-07-25T02:27:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*Oh, Grim, you dear thing. How would we manage without your erudition? \*\* I imagine you’d find a way to stoicly carry on, through the lonely nights and the wet, shimmering tears. And someday - someday in the unimaginably distant future - you’d learn to smile again. And yet… yet… when the sun sets in the Orient East, and when the night stars begin to shine, you’d hear a nameless, shapeless, amorphus, and yet intensely meaningful _something_. The sound of the wind, whispering to your soul. Whispering _thegrimspectreofreddeath_. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/45 "2002-07-25T02:59:25Z")
Alright, guys. Knock it off and get a _server_. How is this pit-worthy? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/46 "2002-07-25T03:53:12Z")
Hmmm. ::Note to self:: Start parody thread parodying parodies, or better yet satirizing parodies. That way I can get those responses and get back into threadspotting. Damn. Shoul have thought of that earlier. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/47 "2002-07-25T11:30:03Z")
Fenris > [@](#): > > You’re the trendsetter on parody threads (they go back to PHAEDRUS???!! Kidding aside, if that thread’s survived the boards I wanna see that one!), so where you lead, others’ll follow. My wife saved a copy. It was actually a parody of one of his sock puppets. (Note the original use of the Schelssinger reference!) Here’s to your enjoyment: * * * I am very disturbed after reading through these endless ad hominems directed at far and away the most intelligent and articulate poster ever to grace this undeserving message board. I mean, of course, Phaedrus. If you would simply listen to him, perhaps you might get a clue. What I find remarkable is Phaedrus’ infinite patience and tolerance of all of you. He presents post after post in rapid fire succession, each packed with emperical and imperative data that prove the case he makes conclusively. Meanwhile, all of you taunt him incessantly with demands for more, more, more! Well, I am here to provide you more. I was a key thinker at America’s most prestigious think-tank for 42 years, and was, prior to that, a Munt-Fellow scholar for 25 years at Oxford, Picadilly Campus. For more than 30 years, I wrote speaches for a dozen American presidents and scores of high ranking Chinese bureaucrats. I engineered the peace accords that were signed at Versailles, and have been consulted the past 9 years by CEOs at 15 different Fortune 500 companies. I trade directly from my seat at Nasdaq, and I am Vice-assistant Undersecretary of the Illuminati. I present these credentials only by way of information for those interested. They have nothing whatsoever to do with what I am writing about, but I present them solely for the benefit of David B and, of course, the androgenous poster from Iceland. I only have time for a very brief post, and so I will post only briefly. Now, I will present to you the case of the African River Moth. How does evolution explain the very peculiar calene ratio of this moth? You would expect its calene ratio to be disaproxiate if evolution were true, but we find in this moth a distinctly aproxiate ratio of calene to pachy. Compare the abstented abdomen of the African River Moth to the thorax of a butter gnat, and you will be astounded to find NO SIGNIFICANT TAXONOMIC DIFFERENCES. I repeat that: no significant taxonomic differences. (Note here that I mean taxonomic in the psychological sense as presented in the theories of Jung, and not in the ontological sense as presented by Ayn Rand. Later, I will explain to all of you what a theory is, but I don’t have time right now.) Consider also the grasshopper. If evolution were true, we would expect that grasshoppers would hop backwards, since the evolution model is expressed graphically as a logarithmic curve. But grasshoppers do not hop backwards; they hop forwards, implying an intelligent design. You can prove this is true basically by flipping a coin. There is a 50% chance you will get heads, and a 50% chance that you will get tails. Well, by the same token, there was a 50% chance that we would be in an alternate universe. Since we are not in an alternate universe, but are, in fact, in the universe in which we find ourselves, we can expect that the grasshopper will hop forward. And in fact, it does! Evidence of design. I really cannot post much more because I have to leave to pick up my nobel prize. But what about the Myodictux tree? How do you explain that its sap cannot penetrate its bark. If evolution were true, this tree could not reproduce. Why? Try looking at retinal tissue from an ordinary housefly under great magnification. You will discover cells that bear an uncanny resemblance to the cells in Myodictux! In both cases, the cells have cell walls made of membrane, nuclei made of genetic-type material, and DNAs that are similar to two significant digits, and that is a Post Hec Olfactum falacy. If evolution is true, then the Myodictux tree must be a direct descendant of the common housefly. And that, of course, is absurd. Now, already I have given you sufficient evidence to disprove evolution, but I am only talking about Darwinism. There is ample evidence, according to Dr. Laura Schlessinger, of the Institute for Hysterical Paranoids, that the theory perpetrated by Darwin and other socialists of the time, was nothing more than a hoax. Did you know that Darwin was a divinity school dropout? You can prove this if you read the books that I have read, and I have read thousands of them. They do not even include the books I have in my vast library, which is fifty stories tall, and was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. Later, I will give you more, but for now I really must go. One more thing. My grammar is perfect. I am tired of Ayesha’s flirting. And all my friends at camp have died from anthrax. I am a religious man, but I do like putting vacuum cleaner hoses up my ass. Now, I know that even with all the proof I have given you here for creationism, there will still be some doubting Thomases, but that is outside the realm of philosophy, on which I have written prodigiously and soon will be published. I have already had work published in scientific and medical journals as well as typing tutorials. Now, I would hand around and let all of you yell at me, but I think I might simply start a new thread for that. Oh, and speaking of which, why is it that all of you constantly demand more and more proof from Phaedrus but offer up no proof of your own. Who among you has cited the laboratory experiment where billions of years of evolution have been replicated? Nevermind that, if evolution were true, you would need 10^128 years for a single blob of Big Bang plasma to evolve into even a simple protein molecule. And if the universe were that old, the stars, as everyone knows, would have all burned out by now. Well nya nya nya. I am sick of all of you. Shame on you. A pox on all your houses. I have to leave right now, and I might never come back because my wife was kidnapped by Navy SEALs and taken to Ruby Ridge, where they have threatened to tie her to a tree with her back facing FBI marksmen. But let me just leave you with this: if evolution were true, then why should I type these words at all? Why not just let a monkey smack at keys until, after billions of years, my post will automatically appear! Oooh! Just like magic! Sheesh, if you believe in Darwinism, you’ll believe in anything. O, how gullible the silly masses. * * * Though I were from whence I will have been, I ought rather would to be than to have been at all. ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/48 "2002-07-25T14:00:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Weirddave \* > \*\*I’m just digusted because _I_ posted the first parody of Fenris’ parody thread, and yet he comes over here and fights with Lib, ignoring me. > I don’t feel wubbed anymore. ☹ \*\* Could be worse. You could have posted a parody, attracted a whole bunch of self-appointed BBQ Pit police throwing a hissy fit, and then had the thread locked while similar, later, threads march on. Obviously not being a member of the clique (or Illuminati for that matter) I’m not allowed a parody if some find them boring and feel compeled to post saying so. Repeatedly. I don’t know, if only there was a way of ignoring the threads you didn’t like and letting them drop off the page. Wonder how you do that? Not that I’m bitter or anything 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/49 "2002-07-25T14:07:59Z")
> [@](#): > > **From Lib** > > I have to leave right now, and I might never come back because my wife was kidnapped by Navy SEALs and taken to Ruby Ridge, where they have threatened to tie her to a tree with her back facing FBI marksmen. You just HAD to bring guns into this, didn’t ya? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/50 "2002-07-25T14:22:29Z")
Yes, but I also brought trees. Hug away. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ObiWan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47774/32.png) [@ObiWan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ObiWan)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/51 "2002-07-25T14:32:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by **Libertarian** \* > I am a past vice-assistant undersecretary of the Illuminati. I currently occupy the Limbaugh chair at the Schlessinger Institute for Hysterical Paranoids, where I am engaged in post-doctoral work on Aztec relations with Poland in the 12th century. I have served as advisor to eight presidents and four kings on matters of posting protocol. I have more than one hundred magic rings collected from various cereal boxes, and I know several liberals personally. > > […] > > That’s quite impossible since the fourth sun would not yet have risen. It is widely believed among neo-Huitzilopotchtlian scholars that alien life forms descended by way of an asteroid, which created the swamp where they found their city. > > […] > > It is believed among scholars that the Northwest Tribes maintained communications with the lost tribes by means of eagles carrying messages carved on stone boulders. It is eminently reasonable that these eagles might have flown off-course and arrived, admittedly weary, in Poland. Please, _please_ tell me that you’ve played Mornington Crescent; I get the feeling you could be a Grandmaster - **kabbes** and **ianzin** beware! If you haven’t then I think you might well have missed your life’s true calling. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/52 "2002-07-25T16:06:21Z")
Mornington Crescent? Could you give me a brief rundown on the rules? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ObiWan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47774/32.png) [@ObiWan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ObiWan)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/53 "2002-07-25T16:42:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*Mornington Crescent? Could you give me a brief rundown on the rules? 😉 \*\* Try looking at Mornington Crescent: The Official Web Site, The MC Gibberty Rules, St. Swithin’s canonica, post '48 rule set or [The Encyclopaedia Morningtonia](http://madeira.physiol.ucl.ac.uk/people/jim/mc_em.html). I find all three to be excellent resources. For an example of a game in action look no further than [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=117188) SDMB thread. I like [this](http://www.ciphergoth.org/writing/mornington.html) site best of all though! 😉 But shhhhh, it’s a secret! ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/54 "2002-07-25T16:53:04Z")
By the way, _this_ thread is up to page two, while [my thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=127208) languishes at page one, even though [my thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=127208) features an all too rare [\*\* LynnBodoni\*\* PRONOUNCMENT[sup]tm[/sup]](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=127208), and STILL this thread gets more responses! Bah! Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/55 "2002-07-25T17:22:29Z")
ObiWan […sirens wailing… …lights flasing…] Oh, Obi. […tsk… …tsk…] Now that your Skog has fallen over, you leave me no choice but to play a morgum. And in accordance with the Winsington Principle, I hereby declare you to be whooshed. * * * Fenris Wanna trade 100 views for 10 posts? ---
**Author:** ![Robb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a183cd/32.png) [@Robb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robb)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/56 "2002-07-25T17:44:31Z")
**Lib** , even though you are a member of the Illuminati, it’s this: > [@](#): > > Mornington Crescent? Could you give me a brief rundown on the rules? that shows you are truly evil. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/57 "2002-07-25T17:50:34Z")
😃 ---
**Author:** ![Robb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a183cd/32.png) [@Robb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robb)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/58 "2002-07-25T18:28:39Z")
Really. A **brief** rundown on the rules. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/59 "2002-07-25T18:51:38Z")
I think you’re trying to say “honorable”. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612/60 "2002-07-25T19:22:25Z")
You used the wrong shade of blue when making your fake lnks in the OP, **Libber**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rant-or-trolling/120612.md?page=4)