# Rants/vents against cable channels. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 26, 2005, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158 "2005-07-26T02:27:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/21 "2005-07-26T18:47:33Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Cartoon Network : Show more Venture Brothers. There’s still an episode or two from the first season that I haven’t seen, and that you never air. How do I know? I check every week. A) You’re mad at Adult Swim, not Cartoon Network. Yes, they broadcast on the same channel, but earlier this year Adult Swim became it’s own entity, so it’s relationship with Cartoon Network is similar to TNT’s realtionship with TBS. Both owned by Turner, yes, but really, that’s about it, AS and CN just have the disadvantage of being on the same channel. B) You’re right, there is one episode they haven’t shown in a LONG while (well, two if you want to get technical, perhaps three if you get even more technical.) They are: _Past Tense._ - They cannot air this one, at least until Jackson Publick and crew alter it enoguh so that it no longer infringes on copyrighted material. The robots that were used in it bare too striking a resemblance to some artist’s robots. They made the robots look that was as a sorty of hommage, and thought that that reason, combined with the fact that they could say it was a parody, would let them off the hook. But they still got in trouble, and rather than go through a legal battle, agreed to change the episode. But that’s not an easy process, and considering they are working hard on season two AND the season one DVD set, means that the fixed version probably won’t get released UNTIL the season one DVD. _The Terrible Secret of Turtle Bay_ - This is the pilot, and generally, most shows’ pilots aren’t shown as part of the series when they were made as the stand alone pilot, like a lot of AS’s material (as oppssed to a pilot that is aprt fo the series, liek Family Guy’s and Futurama’s pilots.). Add to that the fact that several things changed since the pilot (character models, voices, a few other things here and there) and you can see why both AS and Jackson Publick don’t want it aired in the normal rotation, but I suspect it will also be on the DVD set. _A Very Venture Christmas_ - A fifteen minute Christmas special. Since it’s only fifteen minutes, it can’t fit into the normal schedule. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/22 "2005-07-26T18:51:47Z")
I agree with everything here. I miss the old Discovery Channel, A & E and Hit…I mean History Channel. I used to love spending my weekend (as a child) learning about Ancient Egypt, Rome, and Russia-- but nooo! Jerks. I would like to add that the country channels (CMT and GAC) are the only two music channels that actually play music on a regular basis. One of the two has started playing Dukes of Hazzard, but it isn’t too often. So CURSE YOU MTV AND VH1!!! You made me listen to country music! ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/23 "2005-07-26T19:09:40Z")
GSN is also known as the Guys with a Short attention span Network ---
**Author:** ![GraphicsGal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@GraphicsGal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraphicsGal)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/24 "2005-07-26T19:36:50Z")
I watch the Biography Channel, which here outside the Beltway, is one of the digital channels. I BEG YOU, please add a hamster to your satellite. There is so much digital breakup that watching the channel is sometimes painful (and I really love my old Murder, She Wrote reruns). I agree about Discovery. Monster Vehicle Shows do not a network make. Can’t you air that stuff on Spike? I know, I know, competitor, but your demographics can’t be all monster vehicle loving folks, can they? ---
**Author:** ![rowe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@rowe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowe)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/25 "2005-07-26T19:48:01Z")
> [@Southpaw](#): > > There are too many non-cooking shows; _Unwrapped_, _Secret Life of…_, _Roker on the Road_, that kitchen makeover show. I also think they go out of their way to hire the most loathsome (Bobby Flay, the low-carb guy, Sandra Lee) or annoying (Rachel Ray, Tyler Florence, Emeril) hosts they can find. I love Unwrapped as I’ve always wondered how they make some of those things. Plus it IS the Food Network, not the Cooking Network, so I don’t have a problem with shows like that. I agree that some of the hosts are pretty awful though. ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/26 "2005-07-26T20:00:11Z")
I’d like to add a big “amen” to a lot of what others have said here. “Bugs” that take up half the screen, the same ads shown on every break (Biography and BBCAmerica, I’m looking at you), the unfunny Comedy Central. Also, too much supernatural stuff on History and the Travel Channel. Travel Channel seems to have become the “All-Vegas-Every-Other-Week” channel, and when it’s not Vegas, it’s “Haunted-This-Haunted-That”. Do people really seek out so-called “haunted” places to visit on vacation? ---
**Author:** ![Southpaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@Southpaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southpaw)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/27 "2005-07-26T21:07:50Z")
> [@Nutty Bunny](#): > > What??!? All of them? Please tell me that \*Good Eats \* and Paula Deen have NOT been cancelled! When did this happen!?! Does anyone have a paper bag I can breathe into?!?! Sorry I wasn’t clear. Sara Moulton’s shows have been cancelled, Alton & Paula will still grace our TV screens, at least until FN comes up with still yet another show for Rachel Ray to giggle through (why does she have four shows on one network?!? That’s more than Chuck Woolery has on GSN!) ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/28 "2005-07-26T21:38:32Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > Don’t you mean “tomorrow morning?” > > I mean, given the vehemence of your rant… > > because, you know, you went on about how 1 AM was actually the NEXT day… > > and then you said… > > 😃 Heh. Touché. But at least if i tell you to watch something at 1 tonight, i’m talking about the night that comes after this particular day, and no-one is likely to be confused. But if today is Tuesday, and i tell you to watch something at 1am on Saturday, then you will reasonably assume that i mean 1 in the morning on Friday night/Saturday morning, not 1 in the morning on Saturday night/Sunday morning. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/29 "2005-07-26T22:21:27Z")
Gah! Those bugs! I’d managed to forget about the really aggressive ones; I think by avoiding the channels that use them. You know what I hate just as much? When some channel has big noisy bugs taking up the bottom third of the screen and then the most humongous tv ratings boxes covering the top third of the screen. It’s the beginning of the show and I would like to know what the people look like and catch the set-up. Instead, it’s like my tv has been invaded with pop-up ads from my computer. I kinda like that _Secret Life of…_ show. The host is the silliest goofball. But somebody needs to hit Rachel Ray with a hammer so she’d be knocked back to a normal allowance of shows on the network. Which for me would be none, and PSAs apologizing for ever having made any of them. > [@CandidGamera](#): > > Law and Order has become to TNT whats Wings was to USA and Buffy (briefly) was to FX Wait-- you mean _all_ networks aren’t wall-to-wall Law & Order? Oh that’s right. Some networks also show CSI and it’s clones. ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/30 "2005-07-27T03:55:02Z")
Oooooo…on the Food Network… If Rachel Ray says “EVOO! Extra virgin olive oil!” ONE more time, I swear, I’m gonna have to hunt her happy ass down and slap her! Either say ‘EVOO’ OR ‘extra virgin olive oil’. Not both! We get it already! Jeez… ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_Samaritan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bad\_Samaritan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_Samaritan)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/31 "2005-07-27T05:22:56Z")
Well, they’ve been heavily pitted already, but I just gotta vent anyway… Discovery channel sucks cock in hell. It used to be one of my favorite channels, but fucking christ almighty damn how many times must we be subjected to endless reruns of American Chopper, American Hotrod, Monster Garage, etc etc. I mean… I think everybody saw the firefighter bike episode the first 30 times or so that it ran fer shit’s sake. Why don’t they just rename it the White Trash channel and be done with it. The only thing I’ve ‘discovered’ lately is that there are other channels that suck less than you do Discovery. Oh and Rachel Ray… bubbly annoying twit for sure, but I’d like to slap her in a good way. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/32 "2005-07-27T12:18:59Z")
> [@Southpaw](#): > > Sorry I wasn’t clear. Sara Moulton’s shows have been cancelled, Alton & Paula will still grace our TV screens, at least until FN comes up with still yet another show for Rachel Ray to giggle through (why does she have four shows on one network?!? That’s more than Chuck Woolery has on GSN!) Oh, thank Og! I wasn’t a big Sara Moulton fan anyway. Alton is a genius (anal-retentive, maybe, but a genius nonetheless) and Paula’s show is what I call “food porn”. Mmmmm…butter ::drool:: Just a clarification–Rachel Ray doesn’t giggle. Giggling would be bad enough, but she has a deep, throaty dumbass laugh. Like Beaky Buzzard on Looney Tunes. _“Ohh, no no no no no no…”_. Seriously, listen to her sometime and that’s all you’ll hear from now on. I hate her with the white-hot intensity of 1,000 1920’s-style Death Rays! Gah!! Don’t get me started on her! She can give herself an EVOO enema! Fuck her! Before anyone says, “Well, change the channel if you don’t like her”, she has great recipes and makes food that I would even try to make. Damn bitch, making me watch her show 'n stuff! ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/33 "2005-07-27T12:27:50Z")
> [@nonacetone](#): > > Oooooo…on the Food Network… If Rachel Ray says “EVOO! Extra virgin olive oil!” ONE more time, I swear, I’m gonna have to hunt her happy ass down and slap her! Either say ‘EVOO’ OR ‘extra virgin olive oil’. Not both! We get it already! Jeez… Can I get an ‘Amen’? I meant to comment on this in my above post. That is the most annoying thing, aside from her laugh, of course. If you’re going to make up a cutesy shortcut, yet feel the need to say the entire name to clarify, then your cutesy shortcut isn’t necessary! Just once, I would love to see her drop all of her ingredients on the way back to the cooking area. Most of the time, it takes her longer to balance everything at once than it would just to make two trips! Damn it, I told you people not to get me started! ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/34 "2005-07-27T12:43:24Z")
Okay, MTV. I remember back in the day when you first spawned MTV2. It was all videos, all the time. Just like when MTV opened up in the first place. And it was good. Fast forward several years and many crappy non-MTV carrying cable providers. I find MTV2, and what’s the first thing I see playing on it? Wild _fucking_ Boys. I haven’t seen you play video one on MTV2 yet. _Fuck!_ Did the crap on MTV1 just overflow into MTV2? Or maybe some execs figured out that most of their target demographic only want to see videos from the Big New Hits? Well, piss on that. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/35 "2005-07-27T15:34:52Z")
> [@AnatomicallyCorrect](#): > > Discovery channel sucks cock in hell. It used to be one of my favorite channels, but fucking christ almighty damn how many times must we be subjected to endless reruns of American Chopper, American Hotrod, Monster Garage, etc etc. I mean… I think everybody saw the firefighter bike episode the first 30 times or so that it ran fer shit’s sake. Why don’t they just rename it the White Trash channel and be done with it. The only thing I’ve ‘discovered’ lately is that there are other channels that suck less than you do Discovery. I rarely watch Discovery Channel anymroe (Mythbusters is about it,) but the other Discovery channels (if you have digital cable or satellite) are just fine. I liek Discovery Health (except when they go on a five hour baby marathon) and sometimes Animal Planet. I think there are other Discovery channels, but those two are the main ones I watch if I wathc Discovery. Oh, and Rachael Ray? I’d love to have an hour or two alone with her and her EVOO, but DAMN she’s annoying. But then, that’s why God made ball gags… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GraphicsGal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@GraphicsGal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraphicsGal)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/36 "2005-07-27T15:38:48Z")
I forgot to mention one other thing… Those bugs…they cover up TEXT on the screen that is sometimes important. People’s names, titles, etc. I hate this! Can we all have an agreement that bugs go lower right and therefore, any explanatory text must go lower right? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/37 "2005-07-27T16:35:06Z")
Hey. Animal Planet. Enough with the Animal Cops, Animal Precinct, Animal Detectives. All these copy-cat shows are enough to drive a person Animal Crackers. ---
**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/38 "2005-07-27T18:04:48Z")
What’s up with Nick at Nite and TV Land and their original programming? The whole point of those networks is to show reruns of great old shows from the past. I don’t tune in to watch _new_ shows that mostly suck. Why in the world is _Fatherhood_ on Nick at Nite instead of on Nickelodeon or Nick Jr? _Top Ten TV Whatever_ sucks a lot. At least _The Alan Brady Show_ died a quick death. _The TV Land Awards_ are stupid, but at least they’re only on once a year. I’ve seen commercials for a freaking _game show_… Even the Game Show Network can’t make good game shows. _Inside TV Land_ is sometimes good, and it’s the only one of their original programs that has any business on their networks… but I never see it on anymore. Stick to the damn reruns. While I’m on the subject, I don’t think they should be playing shows as new as _Roseanne_ and _The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air_. What’s next, _Seinfeld_ and _Friends_? I’m only 22, and I remember those shows from their original run, and they can be seen easily on other networks. I want to see old shows, that are hard to see on any other channel. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/39 "2005-07-27T20:30:04Z")
Mine is Court TV, gah!! must youthrow in an episode of cops every sine time you can’t think of anything else to play. I swear I think I’ve seen every episode of cops ever! Arounf my house Rachel Ray is known as the Evil Elf. my wife loves her, I can’t stand her, well unless she’s walking to the fridge. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158/40 "2005-07-27T21:00:16Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > Hey. Animal Planet. Enough with the Animal Cops, Animal Precinct, Animal Detectives. All these copy-cat shows are enough to drive a person Animal Crackers. Thats why I just let my dog watch it all day while I’m gone. I just catch some Extreme as background noise as I do stuff around the house. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rants-vents-against-cable-channels/314158.md?page=3)