# "Rape" sex?! What the hell is wrong with you people?! (Fucked up!) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 6, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624 "2002-05-06T21:34:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Space\_Vampire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Space\_Vampire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Space_Vampire)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/21 "2002-05-07T02:59:49Z")
How any of you can say one word in defense of this is beyond me. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/22 "2002-05-07T03:03:50Z")
> [@](#): > > **Lizard:** And dare I mention that your rationale works just as well for child porn? Are you going to claim that people who look at that are just “human,” following their “fantasy”? try telling that to a vice squad. See how far it gets you. Obviously, I think this shit should be in the same category. Someone should go to jail for making this crap. This analogy is not very solid. Children are exploited in the production of child pornography. Nobody is raped in the “rape porn” under discussion. If someone were to distribute the videotapes made by Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka, which documented _actual_ rapes (the victims of which were subsequently murdered,) then _absolutely_, they are evil, sick, twisted wastes of skin, and the same goes for anyone who would watch such a thing and derive pleasure from it. On the other hand, while I find most pornography leaves me cold, or even repulsed, the category that appeals to me is the “asian schoolgirl” genre. I’ve felt guilty and uncomfortable about this, but that’s just the way it is. At times I felt that it was a sort of inverted racism, which is a little troubling to me. The important thing is, it’s strictly a fantasy number: The women in the photographs are not school-aged girls, they are mature women dressed like school-aged girls. The genuine article holds absolutely zero appeal for me-- if anything, I prefer older women. Is looking at an adult pretending to be a child a form of paedophilia? Should I be treated as a sex offender? If not, how is this different from looking at a consenting adult pretending to be raped? I agree with you on one count – I think the “rape” genre is horrible and disturbing. But I also find fake boobs, fake hair, pancake makeup, collagen lips, high-heels, and lingere horrible and disturbing, although it’s meat-and-potatoes to a lot of people, if mass media is any accurate reflection of people’s tastes. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/23 "2002-05-07T03:24:56Z")
There is a big dividing line between fantasy and reality that I’m not sure that the OP fully recognizes. Let’s take it down a notch from the emotional subject of rape fantasies for a moment to prove a point. Consider, for example, condom use. Taking precautions against STDs and pregnancy is a very good thing in real life. Does that mean that it’s just as wrong and irresponsible to not fantasize about condom use as it is to actually have unprotected sex? Of course not. The negative effects are not present, and one can clearly separate fantasy from reality and do things (or not do things) in real life despite their fantasy life. Fantasies are full of stupid, cliche, even dangerous things that are just not suited to reality. It is much different to fantasize about something than to really desire for it to happen. (Take, for example, fantasies about slavery. Clearly, finding it sexy to have a naked love slave doting on you is not the same thing as thinking that slavery is a viable or ethical thing in real society.) Rape fantasies are much the same thing. The fantasy of being raped (being out of control) is very attractive because it allows people to not worry about making choices or being responsible. Real-life rape – being injured, being afraid, for real – is not the same thing. The fantasy of raping is about being in control, about avoiding rejection, etc. Real-life rape – hurting others, causing injury – is not the same. I won’t say that there aren’t people out there who really would like to violently rape others and that would enjoy rape pornography. However, assuming that these people are representative of those whose fantasies involve rape is simply incorrect. Raping people is harmful. Fantasies do not hurt anyone. They are not equally immoral when those who engage in the latter clearly recognize the harm to others in the former and would not engage in them for that reason. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/24 "2002-05-07T03:27:02Z")
> [@](#): > > How any of you can say one word in defense of this is beyond me. How any of you can think that a fantasy and an actual crime are the same thing is beyond me too… ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/25 "2002-05-07T03:37:34Z")
Sofa King, I was just going to drop it in with my other stories and let hapless wanderers though my personal things get surprised. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/26 "2002-05-07T03:38:51Z")
> [@](#): > > How any of you can say one word in defense of this is beyond me. How any of you can think that a fantasy and an actual crime are the same thing is beyond me too… ---
**Author:** ![shell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@shell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shell)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/27 "2002-05-07T04:12:12Z")
Maybe this is a really foolish question, but how many of you in favor of this “rape porn” have actually been raped? And not the pretend kind with a safe word and all that. I mean real knife-at-the-throat, gun-at-the head kind of rape? ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/28 "2002-05-07T04:19:50Z")
I’ll be the one with the jumper cables. ---
**Author:** ![abuse\_angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d07c76/32.png) [@abuse\_angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abuse_angel)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/29 "2002-05-07T04:46:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shell \* > \*\*Maybe this is a really foolish question, but how many of you in favor of this “rape porn” have actually been raped? And not the pretend kind with a safe word and all that. I mean real knife-at-the-throat, gun-at-the head kind of rape? \*\* well, not me, but someone i know. she was molested as a child and raped as an adult. i dont know if that means her fantasies might be part of something unhealthy caused by what she’s been through. or maybe she’s just able to see the difference. ---
**Author:** ![Space\_Vampire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Space\_Vampire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Space_Vampire)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/30 "2002-05-07T04:48:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by clairobscur \* > \*\* > > How any of you can think that a fantasy and an actual crime are the same thing is beyond me too… \*\* I saw a banner advertising “MOST VIOLENT REAL RAPES! BANNED IN 50 COUNTRIES!” That’s fucked up, and anyone who justifies it is too. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/31 "2002-05-07T04:57:21Z")
**Space Vampire** , maybe you shoud stick to Persian Kitty or Tommy’s Bookmarks. Good, clean, dirty sex can be a lot of fun. ---
**Author:** ![Klaatu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Klaatu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klaatu)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/32 "2002-05-07T05:07:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Ryan \* > \*\*All pornography involves fantasies of control and domination. \*\* Well it’s only Monday, but that line is in the running (and possibly a winner) for “SDMB Bullshit Quote of the Week”. Care to explain that one? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/33 "2002-05-07T05:11:36Z")
Anyone remember _Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid_? “Take off your dress, schoolteacher.” Next scene, they’re riding a bicycle to the tune of “Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head.” **Lizard** , lighten up. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/34 "2002-05-07T05:34:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shell \* > \*\*Maybe this is a really foolish question, but how many of you in favor of this “rape porn” have actually been raped? And not the pretend kind with a safe word and all that. I mean real knife-at-the-throat, gun-at-the head kind of rape? \*\* I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I’m “in favour” of it, I think it’s gross. But I don’t think that a fictional/fantasy representation of something should be legislated against. Yup, I’ve been raped, although there were no weapons involved. Just held down and raped. Had a stepfather that was sexually abusive, too. Don’t think either of the perps got the idea from pornography. ---
**Author:** ![Nietzsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8dc957/32.png) [@Nietzsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nietzsche)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/35 "2002-05-07T05:38:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lizard \* > Someone should go to jail for making this crap. You know, Khomeini thought just like that. I agree the material may not be for all viewers, but why should someone go to jail for offending your morality? And **even sven** , I may not agree with you on fantasies, but I think I’m falling in love with you. Marry me. 😃 Santa Cruz women rock. It’s a bummer not many are straight. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/36 "2002-05-07T05:44:10Z")
God, I thought this site was about fighting ignorance! Instead, some of you are embracing your knee-jerk moral reaction to something while REFUSING to listen to respected, intelligent Dopers who are trying to tell you that MAYBE there is another way to look at this stuff. Come the fuck ON, people. Get off your high horses. Some of the sites dedicated to rape fantasy erotica have addressed this type of fantasy and why it is appealing to the authors and the readers. I wish I had their well-thought out words to use now. Just sign me, One of the perverted sicko immoral types ---
**Author:** ![Space\_Vampire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Space\_Vampire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Space_Vampire)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/37 "2002-05-07T05:46:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sofa King \* > \*\ ***Space Vampire** , maybe you shoud stick to Persian Kitty or Tommy’s Bookmarks. Good, clean, dirty sex can be a lot of fun. \*\* The thing is, I only look at plain vanilla porn. ---
**Author:** ![Space\_Vampire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Space\_Vampire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Space_Vampire)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/38 "2002-05-07T05:51:51Z")
God this board can be irritating. Apparently “fighting ignorance” means “accepting everything as okay.” SOME THINGS ARE NOT FUCKING OKAY. ---
**Author:** ![occ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@occ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/occ)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/39 "2002-05-07T06:13:50Z")
Why is it not okay? Are your morals absolute to all? Does the entity in question infringe on the rights of anyone involved? ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624/40 "2002-05-07T06:22:03Z")
**Space Vampire,** a question : When did your definition of O.K become the standard ? Do you want to live in a world where everything is as YOU think it should be ? You’d never be challenged by alternative ideas, never have to think again … It’s not okay in your OPINION. Please don’t confuse your opinion with fact. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-sex-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people-fucked-up/107624.md?page=3)