# Rape should be legal, as long as it's not "violent" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 6, 2019, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449 "2019-12-06T02:29:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/21 "2019-12-06T14:11:25Z")
-Rapists are really horny, and if they don’t do something about it, they’ll kill you. To quote a police officer I knew who often encountered the “I couldn’t help it” defense: You don’t need a partner if you got a good hand. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/22 "2019-12-06T14:14:53Z")
Easiest pitting ever, the man is a despicable tool. What a woman chooses to do should be free for them to decide, no exceptions, no excuses. And perhaps I’m sheltered or it is a terminology thing that I daren’t risk googling at work, but I’ve never heard of a “dental dam” And as for that attitude being “not unusual”, I know lots of men, lots. Many a conversation have I had in various states of inebriation when the mask can slip in many ways but I can’t think of anyone ever saying something as horrific. I’ve no doubt some cultures might promote it or give it an opportunity to fester but it is rare enough in my circles not to have heard it or seen it. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/23 "2019-12-06T14:20:56Z")
Shravan: > [@](#): > > “The society as well as the government is frightening rapists. This is not the way. The girls above the age of 18 should be educated about rape. The girls should never deny sexual desires of men. Especially Indian girls should be aware of sex education like carrying condoms and dental dams after the age of 18,” he said. > > He went to the extent of saying that instead of objecting to rape, a woman should “readily” accept the situation. I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but the fact that he is Indian doesn’t surprise me. Based on the horrific cases reported of routine gang rape over there, they have a pretty cavalier attitude towards rape in general. Rather than meekly submitting to rape, killing the rapists might be a better deterrent. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/24 "2019-12-06T14:21:34Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I’m seeing a pretty significant difference between the attitude that men are entitled to women’s bodies and the attitude that rape should be legalized. And I don’t think either attitude is as typical as you believe. I’m not sure those opinions are that far apart. The latter seems to be a logical legal outcome of the former. I can certainly see how one follows from the other. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/25 "2019-12-06T14:27:25Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > And perhaps I’m sheltered or it is a terminology thing that I daren’t risk googling at work, but I’ve never heard of a “dental dam” A dental dam is a sheet of latex 6 or 8 inches square that dentists use to protect surrounding areas of the mouth when doing dental work. They’re also used used in oral sex as a barrier between the mouth and the naughty bits to protect against STD’s, much like a condom does. They’re available at any drugstore. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/26 "2019-12-06T14:29:59Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Not to be a pedantic dick or anything “…but I’m going to anyway” Fuck off. > [@](#): > > It’s not typical, it’s psychotic and maladjusted. No, it’s really, really not. There is no mental illness with these men - they were raised that way, or society allowed them to form those ideas. And they were allowed to get away with it, too - from Indian “eve teasing” to fraternity emails about “rapebait”, this shit is pervasive and tolerated at the very least, globally. > [@](#): > > The absolute number of men with that attitude is admittedly large, but I disagree it is held by anything like a ratio approaching the level required to make it “typical”. I’d say 25% to 30% _who are willing to admit it in surveys_ makes it pretty damn _normal_. Which is one definition of the word “typical” ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/27 "2019-12-06T14:55:51Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > “…but I’m going to anyway” > > Fuck off. I do not consent. Besides, if you post stuff on the internet you should expect some trollish pushback. You know we’re out here. You were asking for it. Granted, most people in Internetland will at least respect your position, but 25-30% of us will invariably have something snarky to say. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/28 "2019-12-06T14:56:11Z")
> [@Lancia](#): > > A dental dam is a sheet of latex 6 or 8 inches square that dentists use to protect surrounding areas of the mouth when doing dental work. They’re also used used in oral sex as a barrier between the mouth and the naughty bits to protect against STD’s, much like a condom does. They’re available at any drugstore. Thanks, (I think?). Never heard of such thing. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/29 "2019-12-06T15:02:05Z")
“Gee Officer it wasn’t really rape. She had condoms and a dental dam in her purse and made me use them. That implies consent.” Yeah, right. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/30 "2019-12-06T15:34:30Z")
**Rape should be legal, as long as it’s not "violent"** In other news, Murder should be legal, as long as it’s not Lethal, and Arson should be allowed, as long as no Property is Destroyed. ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/31 "2019-12-06T15:36:56Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Otherwise shut the fuck up. No U ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/32 "2019-12-06T15:46:45Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > “Gee Officer it wasn’t really rape. She had condoms and a dental dam in her purse and made me use them. That implies consent.” > > Yeah, right. [It has been tried.](https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1993-05-14-mn-35226-story.html) > [@](#): > > During the three-day trial, Joel Valdez, 28, argued that the woman agreed to have sex because she had asked him to use the condom. > > “She told me to do her a favor. She told me to wear a condom, so I did,” Valdez testified. “We were making love after that.” He got 40 years. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/33 "2019-12-06T17:24:46Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Are you fucking joking? Hell no, there’s no real difference. > Bring the countering cites to mine, then. Otherwise shut the fuck up. I notice how you often ask people to “shut the fuck up”. Do you find debating is easier for you when the other person isn’t saying anything? But I’m not here to help you. I read your cites. None of them call for the legalization of rape or report on people calling for that. Which is the claim you were making back at the start of this debate. I’ll admit you’ve wandered around a lot since then so it’s not clear what exactly you’re arguing about now. ---
**Author:** ![Unreconstructed\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/76d3ee/32.png) [@Unreconstructed\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unreconstructed_Man)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/34 "2019-12-06T18:21:30Z")
> [@Mr Dibble](#): > > That a large number of men feel they are entitled to sex and women should give it to them whether they want to or not. > > If you’re going to be a pedantic dick and quibble about my use of the word “typical”, replace it with “not unusual” instead. A charitable reading of your initial post might stretch to include this spin. Unfortunately, our last encounter proved to me that you are _gleefully_ uncharitable in your interpretations of other people’s posts. You positively enjoy interpreting other people’s posts in the worst possible light. So that’s how I’ll be with you. You said that the idea of legalising rape was “typical” (I won’t accept your substitution of ‘not unusual’ because they aren’t synonymous). Your blizzard of cites don’t prove that. Since they don’t prove _that_, they _also_ don’t exculpate you from the charge that you were talking about Indian men, specifically. Why do you think the typical Indian man wants rape to be made legal? ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/35 "2019-12-06T18:36:39Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > -Women should carry condems and dental dams around, just in case. See, you should always cooperate, and this way you can give him a condom first, so you’ll be protected! > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I’m seeing a pretty significant difference between the attitude that men are entitled to women’s bodies and the attitude that rape should be legalized. And I don’t think either attitude is as typical as you believe. > [@Jasmine](#): > > Shravan: > I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but the fact that he is Indian doesn’t surprise me. Based on the horrific cases reported of routine gang rape over there, they have a pretty cavalier attitude towards rape in general. Rather than meekly submitting to rape, killing the rapists might be a better deterrent. I love to travel, so does mrAru, and at one point there was a train excursion across India that hit the Golden Temple, Taj Mahal and a few other mega-interesting sites. Then I started reading unreasonably frequent reports of not just the local women being raped at an unconsionable rate, but female tourists as well. I refuse to patronize a country that does not seem to want to take serious steps in halting the activities. The _only_ think I would equip myself with is not a condom, or a dental dam but a [protective insert](https://www.wired.com/2007/04/rapestoppers-ra/). THen again, I bet this special little buttercup would be screaming _I_ assaulted _him_ by damaging his dick. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/36 "2019-12-06T19:15:19Z")
Ya know, I don’t think this fella is gonna get a lot of support for his idea. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/37 "2019-12-06T19:23:38Z")
What happens if the _woman_ makes it violent, i.e. she hits or bites her rapist? Is she a criminal, now? ---
**Author:** ![Kovitlac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kovitlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kovitlac)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/38 "2019-12-06T19:26:21Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > That a large number of men feel they are entitled to sex and women should give it to them whether they want to or not. Feeling some amount of entitlement toward sex isn’t the same as genuinely believing rape should be legal. Far more men are in the former category rather than the latter. The latter you hear more from anyone identifying as an ‘incel’, and even though, a lot of the times it comes up they aren’t actually arguing in ‘good’ faith. It’s part of their venting, which _doesn’t make it okay_ (before you freak out at me, too), but is NOT the same thing as promoting rape. It’s like comparing leering or sexualized comments to assault and rape. Neither are okay, but they do not equal each other. > [@](#): > > Now, kindly fuck off. Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine… ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/39 "2019-12-06T19:54:19Z")
> [@Kovitlac](#): > > Feeling some amount of entitlement toward sex isn’t the same as genuinely believing rape should be legal. I’m unclear on your reasoning, here. If one is _entitled_ to something, doesn’t that mean another party is obliged to grant it, regardless of how that party feels about it? I can see arguing that women would be more open and less repressed about casual sex and that society should not be critical of or even concerned about women who freely engage in casual sex, but that strikes me as distinct from implying women should be obligated to satisfy someone else’s entitlement to casual sex. ---
**Author:** ![Unreconstructed\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/76d3ee/32.png) [@Unreconstructed\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unreconstructed_Man)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2019, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449/40 "2019-12-06T20:23:05Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > If one is entitled to something, doesn’t that mean another party is obliged to grant it, regardless of how that party feels about it? It doesn’t mean the “entitled” party is morally justified in just taking it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rape-should-be-legal-as-long-as-its-not-violent/844449.md?page=3)