# Rapture coming this WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 25, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596 "2003-08-25T21:09:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Taoiseach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f1d935/32.png) [@Taoiseach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taoiseach)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/41 "2003-08-26T18:16:10Z")
A friend told me the following story, that happened the semester before I got there. During the Summer of '96, students at Princeton Seminary had their afternoon of study interrupted by one of those typical Mid-Atlantic Summer thunderstorms that tears out of the northwest just before sundown and shakes the windows and rips apart trees. After the storm, a group of about a half-dozen students were gathered on the Quad, staring at the [Damnation Alley](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0075909), end-of-the-world miasma of weird colors in the sky as the clouds began to break-up and the setting Sun shone through. Some of them were from California and had never seen this sort of weather before. President Tom Gillespie, himself from California, was walking from his office to his home, stopped at the group of students. He looked up at the sky for a moment or two. “Just as I thought,” he said. “The Rapture happened” - he looked down at the students, deadpan - “and we’re all still here.” ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/42 "2003-08-26T18:39:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Happy Scrappy Hero Pup \* > \*\*… > The righteous will be assumed body and soul, or somesuch. > > The rest of us will endure plagues, and a holy war, and Satan, and other assorted bogeymen. > …\*\* Right. Like **pervert** said … ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/43 "2003-08-26T19:30:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > \*\*Hey, it’s the Rapture! > > It’s a special occasion! > > Shave it all! > > Pits, legs, and…anything else that’s “special”. 😃 \*\* Shave it all? Wouldn’t that make me a Krishna? My orange sheets are in the wash. Can’t I just shave that Special Little area heart Shaped and dye it red (for Mars, the planet not the candy bar, you pervs) for such an occasion? ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2003, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/44 "2003-08-26T22:53:14Z")
I am reminded of my character’s Big Speech from an independent film I acted in recently (if **vibrotronica** sees this: you had to know I was gonna do this). Another character asks me about the Rapture. My response: > [@](#): > > It’s a doom-is-near doctrine whipped up by the American Evangelicals to boost attendance at tent revivals. It seems the thought of Satan wasn’t scary enough, so some preachers trumped up a verse out of Thessalonians to get people to believe that if they listened–and gave enough at the collection plate–then they’d all be magically and instantaneously transported up to heaven during the fire-and-brimstone end times, leaving those of us who don’t accept their radical apocalyptic theology behind to burn on Earth with the other heathens. It’s the reason you see these bumper stickers that say, “This vehicle will be unmanned after the Rapture”; these people actually believe that they’re all going to be whisked away in one fell swoop. I, for one, will be glad to stick around afterward and take their cars. By the way, it was really hard to get that whole speech out in one take without screwing up any of it. Particularly “radical apocalyptic theology.” ---
**Author:** ![Olive\_The\_Other\_Reindeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Olive\_The\_Other\_Reindeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olive_The_Other_Reindeer)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/45 "2003-08-27T03:08:36Z")
I’m really surprised no one dug up [**THIS LINK**](http://66.165.133.65/religion/rapture.htm) yet. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/46 "2003-08-27T03:57:29Z")
Well, it’s 12:07 EST, and I’m still here. Hmm…wonder what that means? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/47 "2003-08-27T04:18:23Z")
It means you’ve been a naughty boy, and you have to go to bed without Rapture. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/48 "2003-08-27T06:07:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EddyTeddyFreddy \* > \*\*It means you’ve been a naughty boy, and you have to go to bed without Rapture. \*\* Or perhaps he was getting a little too much Rapture in bed, if you know what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/49 "2003-08-27T06:28:21Z")
2:36AM here in Atlanta. I’m still here. So I suppose it’s time to go round up some cars… ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/50 "2003-08-27T10:27:27Z")
So, what with this thread, Judge Moore’s supporters down in Alabama, and the recent business involving the attempt to heal the autistic boy in Michigan (see Pit threads), does anyone else think the Rapture is starting to bear a certain resemblance to the B Ark? CJ ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/51 "2003-08-27T11:35:40Z")
:::::\*It’s the end of the world as we know it…and I feel fine \*:::: ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/52 "2003-08-27T11:49:32Z")
Oh. _Not_ a Blondie appreciation thread. Nevermind. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/53 "2003-08-27T12:03:47Z")
So, I’ve just headed down I-45 to the office, and traffic didn’t _seem_ any lighter… ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/54 "2003-08-27T12:24:15Z")
This morning I was out and about, minding my own business, when something strange happened. I was surrounded by figures dressed in white and suddenly felt myself rising into the air. “Hallelujah, Lord!” I shouted, “Hallelujah! Take Thy servant up to Heaven, Lord! Deliver me to Thy Kingdom!” Then the elevator stopped on the hospital’s C floor, the doctors moved out of my way and I stepped out into the corridor. ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/55 "2003-08-27T13:29:36Z")
According to the Two Olive Trees website (yes, I looked…yeesh), there is gonna be complete darkness today from 3 to 6…but it doesn’t say: AM, PM, EST, CST, GMT I’m kinda figuring CST, since that’s the “middle” of the Bible Belt… …what? ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/56 "2003-08-27T13:31:01Z")
Hallelujah, Kal, I believe! I believe!! In fact, I believe I’ll have another cup of coffee … ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/57 "2003-08-27T13:32:38Z")
Well it is 9:40AM EST and I am sitting here with clean undies on. Waiting…what time is this supposed to happen? ---
**Author:** ![r.j.a](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5daacb/32.png) [@r.j.a](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/r.j.a)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/58 "2003-08-27T13:36:20Z")
Hey everybody, guess what! I got raptured, and now I’m in heaven. The internet connection is really fast here, and you can play any video game you can think of. Like right now, I just thought, “wouldn’t it be awesome if there was an eight-player Joust machine?” and poof! there it was. Heaven is sweet. I hope it doesn’t get boring, though. Rod P.S. Sorry about that nasty car wreck on San Pedro. I didn’t have a chance to pull over or anything. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/59 "2003-08-27T13:40:40Z")
It’s really simple: the Rapture happened nearly 30 years ago! Jimmy Hoffa was the only one taken. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/60 "2003-08-27T13:47:36Z")
I wonder if this has anything to do with the LBMB becoming a pay-to-join site. I don’t remember this being mentioning in Revelation specifically, but I never understood all that symbolism anyway. If it does happen today, could somebody water my plants? Thanks, and YOU ARE ALL GOING TO BURN IN THE FIERY PITS OF HELL FOREVER WHILE DEMONS POUR LIQUID SULPHUR INTO YOUR HEAD AFTER GOUGING OUT YOUR EYES WITH PITCHFORKS, YOU INFIDEL SINNERS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Like staff meetings, but without doughnuts. Regards, Shodan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596.md?page=4)