# Rapture coming this WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 25, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596 "2003-08-25T21:09:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Einmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Einmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Einmon)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/101 "2003-08-28T12:57:45Z")
Aaaah! **Baker** ’s globe has been raptured! It’s a sign! ---
**Author:** ![SkyBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@SkyBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkyBum)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/102 "2003-08-28T13:20:45Z")
Ah…this clears things up a bit. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **GOD** _ > > :smack: I regret to inform you that the Rapture which had originally been scheduled for Wednesday has been postponed until our Union of Angels can settle their labor dispute with the Division of Heavenly Benefits (undoubtedly another ruse to avoid the unusually heavy workload created during an event of this scale). As you may well have noticed, these sorts of problems have a way of cropping up each time the Rapture is near. Our Department of God-Like Resources is not what it used to be, the opposition seems to be taking more and more of the really _good_ help. Perhaps it is time to restructure. > > Many of you have already begun complaining. Stop it. I am far too busy rescheduling the plagues and locust storms to listen to your whining. I realize that you are all earnestly awaiting freedom from your mortal bonds, and trust me, **GOD** knows I could use some more help up here. > > I’ll get back to you with a tentative date as soon as I have drawn up the new Impact Survey and Budget Offsets for the Transitional Planning Committee and negotiated a new agreement with the Demons League upon the final division of spoils. > > Once again, until further notice, your Rapture has been officially postponed. Please, no rioting. Continue on with your lives as normal until I can correct this unfortunate situation. > > Thanks. > > **GOD** ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/103 "2003-08-28T13:29:22Z")
So I gotta wonder. Is the Lawyer guy sitting at home now, realizing what a total mistake listening to that rapture nonsence was, and wondering if he can get his old job back? ---
**Author:** ![International\_Playboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/48db29/32.png) [@International\_Playboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/International_Playboy)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/104 "2003-08-28T13:52:28Z")
Forgot to mention that Tuesday evening I saw a bearded man walking down the highway, wearing what looked like two white bed sheets and nothing else underneath. My first thought was that it was Jesus, getting an early start on calling people home. But as I got closer, he looked more like Red Green. He even had the same style hat. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/105 "2003-08-28T17:33:15Z")
It really is a bummer about the Rapture being postponed again. It looks like it’s supposed to rain on the East Coast this weekend. ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/106 "2003-08-28T17:50:37Z")
That’s the last time I am wearing my _good_ panties to work! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/107 "2003-08-28T17:51:18Z")
Rain BRIMSTONE, that is! Bwah ha ha ha haaaa…! ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/108 "2003-08-28T17:58:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Particlewill \* > \*\*So I gotta wonder. Is the Lawyer guy sitting at home now, realizing what a total mistake listening to that rapture nonsence was, and wondering if he can get his old job back? \*\* Would you hire him back? I know we don’t think we will! * * * She told me she loved me like a brother. She was from Arkansas, hence the Joy! ---
**Author:** ![Zach\_Lee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ed655f/32.png) [@Zach\_Lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zach_Lee)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/109 "2003-08-28T18:04:42Z")
No, it’s definitely the Rapture, I’m certain of it. How many people are suddenly gone? (yeah, everybody just SAYS it’s a long weekend…) But it’s not surprising that most Dopers haven’t been assumed. Bunch of questioning nonbelievers… But really, it’s got to be the Rapture. You should see the first Plague we’re seeing here in Milwaukee. it’s just starting, but half a million…clogging the streets… eating all the food… covering all the available homes, yards, parking lots… Noisy, too. And Big, REALLY BIG, most of 'em…did I mention Noisy? the whole city is kind of shaking. Rumbling, really. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/110 "2003-08-28T19:37:21Z")
Rapture, my ass. I wasn’t even in a good mood. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/111 "2003-08-28T19:57:24Z")
Maybe all of us were ‘raputred’. I mean Heaven MUST have the SDMB! ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/112 "2003-08-28T22:51:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by International Playboy \* > \*\*Forgot to mention that Tuesday evening I saw a bearded man walking down the highway, wearing what looked like two white bed sheets and nothing else underneath. My first thought was that it was Jesus, getting an early start on calling people home. But as I got closer, he looked more like Red Green. He even had the same style hat. \*\* Does that mean that Jesus is Canadian ? Is Heaven held together with duct tape ? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/113 "2003-08-28T23:02:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zach Lee \* > \*\* > But really, it’s got to be the Rapture. You should see the first Plague we’re seeing here in Milwaukee. it’s just starting, but half a million…clogging the streets… eating all the food… covering all the available homes, yards, parking lots… Noisy, too. And Big, REALLY BIG, most of 'em…did I mention Noisy? the whole city is kind of shaking. Rumbling, really. \*\* 😃 I get it! Maybe you can protect yourself with a shield and fight back with a stick or bar of some sort! * * * I don’t want a pickle. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/114 "2003-08-28T23:38:12Z")
What is it with the rapture and cars? The first I ever heard of the Rapture was that bumper sticker, ‘When the rapture comes can I have your car?’ When (I get why) did the rapture become popularly associated with abandoned automobiles? And, aside from the obvious double entendre, why does the rapture ‘come’ rather than ‘occur’? ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/115 "2003-08-29T04:15:59Z")
Maybe it’s leftover pent up sexual repression from that “Come oh ye faithful” tune that was so popluar for a while there. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/116 "2003-08-29T04:16:51Z")
Because the Rapture feels so GOOD, damn you. A period occurs. An orgasm comes. Which do you want YOUR Rapture to be? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/117 "2003-08-29T05:33:46Z")
> [@](#): > > What is it with the rapture and cars? The first I ever heard of the Rapture was that bumper sticker, ‘When the rapture comes can I have your car?’ Because the faithful believe that the Rapture will be instantaneous- if one is driving a car, they will vanish and the car will crash. I agree that this would get everyone’s attention. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/118 "2003-08-29T06:08:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*:::channeling Orson Welles::::: > > Sell no wine before it’s time. \*\* Well, it’s got to be time by now; you’ve been dead for nearly 18 years. LET’S MOVE SOME HOOCH!!! ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/119 "2003-08-29T07:15:28Z")
To whoever said they wanted their plants watered: Sorry… there’s a total outdoor sprinkling ban in effect here. Water reservoirs are almost toally dry, y’know. Just pray for some rain to hit the fires burning here, and some on the general area of the GVRD. Thank you. F\_X ---
**Author:** ![fd10801](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e5b9ba/32.png) [@fd10801](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fd10801)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596/120 "2003-08-29T11:16:43Z")
Considering the burning I get after eating Mexican food, passing Planet X has got to be excruciating. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rapture-coming-this-wednesday-wednesday-wednesday/197596.md?page=7)