# Rational man fires a .45 into football coach's chest. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 8, 2005, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400 "2005-04-08T15:46:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/41 "2005-04-09T05:56:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Help me, Rhonda. Help me get it out of his heart. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/42 "2005-04-09T06:00:15Z")
> [@KarlGauss](#): > > Help me get it out of his heart. Guffaw! ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/43 "2005-04-09T06:55:14Z")
Then there was the Texas mama who killed a teenage girl because she beat out the mama’s daughter in a cheerleading competition. There’s just something about Texans and guns. Dunno what it is. In California that might have led to a hair-pulling fight, but in Texas it was a shootout. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/44 "2005-04-09T11:19:39Z")
> [@DesertGeezer](#): > > Then there was the Texas mama who killed a teenage girl because she beat out the mama’s daughter in a cheerleading competition. There’s just something about Texans and guns. Dunno what it is. In California that might have led to a hair-pulling fight, but in Texas it was a shootout. 😃 [Wanda Holloway.](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0312951264/qid=1113044650/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-9598153-5027006?v=glance&s=books) But not quite like you said. Holloway tried to put a hit on Verna Heath, the other girl’s mother. Holloway was convinced that Amber, the other girl, had only gotten onto the squad through Verna’s manipulations (projection, anyone?), and that if Verna was dead, Amber would naturally quit the squad. (Though I don’t think that would have done Shannen (Wanda’s daughter) any good anyway, because she came in third, not second.) Anyway, the hit didn’t even come off, because Wanda’s point man was her ex-brother-in-law. He never intended to cooperate; he went to the cops after the first time Wanda approached him about this, and was wired at every meeting they had. Wanda handed over payment, and the cops were at her house before nightfall. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/45 "2005-04-09T13:05:39Z")
In order to keep the cool on the boards and to prevent \*Texas Bashing/Texas Is Full of Wackos in Waco et, \*al. trainwrecks of emotions. May I suggest a more peaceful alternative? Bash Michigan. I won’t mind at all. ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/46 "2005-04-09T13:41:29Z")
… and as soon as Delaware has something worth making fun of, step right up and take a swing. Most people go with “it’s so small” which is pretty funny once. Our high school athletics are pretty average, and our gun ownership isn’t anything outlandish. Come to think of it I can’t come up with any serial killers who were from Delaware. Well, okay, there was Pennell, but he only killed 5. That’s pretty half-assed. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/47 "2005-04-09T14:05:31Z")
Bash Michigan!? Fine. We’ll just pack up our great lakes and move to Canada where we’ll be appreciated. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/48 "2005-04-09T15:27:30Z")
Dude! No! My cousin’s getting married in Ann Arbor in October and my brother and his wife have a new baby and can’t afford passports…! ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/49 "2005-04-09T15:55:03Z")
> [@Jurph](#): > > … and as soon as Delaware has something worth making fun of, step right up and take a swing. Most people go with “it’s so small” which is pretty funny once. Our high school athletics are pretty average, and our gun ownership isn’t anything outlandish. Come to think of it I can’t come up with any serial killers who were from Delaware. Well, okay, there was Pennell, but he only killed 5. That’s pretty half-assed. Delaware? The Worst State? This is a place that makes a living on lax corporate law. Its usury laws were essentially abolished in an attempt to lure banks and lenders whose predatory lending predispositions were outlawed in other states. A disproportionate percentage of Fortune 500 companies are incorporated there because incorporating in Delaware doesn’t actually require the company to locate its operations there, and because Delaware has the most lax “disclosure, shareholder rights, and fiduciary responsibility” laws in the nation. One-quarter of Delaware’s income comes from corporations eager to avoid the sort of responsibilities that other states require of them. This crappy little state also gets a good percentage of its revenue by hijacking the people driving through. On a cost-per-mile basis, Delaware’s section of I-95 is 4-5 times as expensive as Maryland or New Jersey. And that’s _before_ you pay the $3 toll on Delaware Memorial Bridge, which is run by Delaware and NJ together. There, now i’ve bashed Delaware. Happy? 🙂 BTW, for an interesting article on this stuff, see Jonathan Chait, “Rogue State: The Case Against Delaware,” _New Republic_, August 19/26, 2002. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/50 "2005-04-09T16:22:24Z")
> [@Mehitabel](#): > > Dude! No! My cousin’s getting married in Ann Arbor in October and my brother and his wife have a new baby and can’t afford passports…! Too late now. Canada seems pretty happy to have another good hockey team and finally have a good basketball team. The Lions and the Tigers will be loving the lowered expectations that come with being a canadian team playing an american game. The yoopers accent will finally fit in. Now, off I go to learn the words to “Oh Canada.” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/51 "2005-04-09T16:24:05Z")
And now that Michiganders are now Canuckians, the beer is better quality! ---
**Author:** ![GawnFishin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e9bcb4/32.png) [@GawnFishin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GawnFishin)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/52 "2005-04-09T16:40:54Z")
> [@Mehitabel](#): > > Dude! No! My cousin’s getting married in Ann Arbor in October and my brother and his wife have a new baby and can’t afford passports…! Passports aren’t necessary when travelling to Canada. [_Yet_!](http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/ArticleNews/TPStory/LAC/20050407/PASS07/TPNational/Canada) ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/53 "2005-04-09T19:13:44Z")
> [@](#): > > A disproportionate percentage of Fortune 500 companies are incorporated there because incorporating in Delaware doesn’t actually require the company to locate its operations there On the Great Lakes, the overwhelming majority of U.S. ships are registered in Delaware. The USX fleet is registered in Pittsburgh (as close as any ship gets to being registered on the Great Lakes), but the rest are all sailing out of Wilmington–icluding all the thousand footers that couldn’t even _get_ to Delaware without being chopped up and shipped there in pieces. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/54 "2005-04-09T19:26:25Z")
> [@Jurph](#): > > … and as soon as Delaware has something worth making fun of, step right up and take a swing. It’s flat. Really flat. At least the part of it I visited. So flat you get an inch of rain and the whole place floods. ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/55 "2005-04-09T20:54:41Z")
I’ve lived in Texas most of my life. I love the state, wouldnt live any where else. but yeah, first thing I thought of was “this must be in texas” Its a cultural thing, Many Texans build a religion around high school football. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/56 "2005-04-09T21:27:02Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > And now that Michiganders are now Canuckians, the beer is better quality! > [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > It’s flat. Really flat. This appropriate out-of-context moment brought to you by the Stuck Up Canuck Beer-pig Lobby. ---
**Author:** ![pmwgreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@pmwgreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pmwgreen)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/57 "2005-04-09T21:36:35Z")
> [@Jurph](#): > > … and as soon as Delaware has something worth making fun of, step right up and take a swing. Ha! I’ve got one! Your northern border is an arc! (Seriously, why is that?) ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/58 "2005-04-10T02:15:27Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > In order to keep the cool on the boards and to prevent \*Texas Bashing/Texas Is Full of Wackos in Waco et, \*al. trainwrecks of emotions. > > May I suggest a more peaceful alternative? > Bash Michigan. > > I won’t mind at all. Well, okay then! “Dispute over deer stand leaves three dead” would probably be Michigan. “Body found in oil drum” would be north Jersey. “Environmentalists torch cars in protest” would be Seattle. “Meth lab seized” would probably be downstate Illinois or Iowa. I could do this all night! ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/59 "2005-04-10T02:59:16Z")
> [@pmwgreen](#): > > Ha! I’ve got one! Your northern border is an arc! (Seriously, why is that?) Minnesota’s northern border is an angle. Northwest Angle. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/60 "2005-04-10T03:16:26Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Bash Michigan. > > I won’t mind at all. Well, we’re the home of Norm Olsen and Terry Nichols… > [@Harborwolf](#): > > Now, off I go to learn the words to “Oh Canada.” _Oh, Canada, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmmmmmm…_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400.md?page=4)