# Rational man fires a .45 into football coach's chest. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 8, 2005, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400 "2005-04-08T15:46:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/61 "2005-04-10T03:33:48Z")
Hmmm…Pennsylvania, well, we’ve got Rick Santorum? ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/62 "2005-04-10T03:47:53Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > “Environmentalists torch cars in protest” would be Seattle.“Meth lab seized” would probably be downstate Illinois or Iowa. As long as we’re on the subject of my home state, I think that “Meth lab siezed” could also pretty easily be Pierce County, Washington. I’m always a little chagrined by how often it is the location on COPS nowadays. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/63 "2005-04-10T04:16:32Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Well, we’re the home of Norm Olsen and Terry Nichols… Am I the only one who read the **O** and the **T** as the Olsen Twins? :eek: :eek: :eek: My first thought was… “Oh my Og! Please help those poor folks! NOTHING could be worse than that!” (And BTW, I’m Texas born and bred. I’m sorry that I hate this place, but I do, so bash all you like. I’m sure everyone was just waiting for my approval.) ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/64 "2005-04-10T04:21:30Z")
How about Massachusetts… Well, we’ve got the Bulger brothers and a town named Belcher. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/65 "2005-04-10T04:34:52Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > “Dispute over deer stand leaves three dead” would probably be Michigan. Mr. Rilch: “That could just as easily be West Virginia. Try ‘Seven injured in brawl at hockey game.’” Me: “Okay. Now what would you have for Pittsburgh?” Mr. Rilch: “…“Union official missing; police suspect foul play.”?” ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/66 "2005-04-10T05:19:00Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > How about Massachusetts… > > Well, we’ve got the Bulger brothers and a town named Belcher. The way someone from Massachusetts told me, there’s a town called Belcher and a town called Athol. Route 202, the road connecting them, is called the Alimentary Canal. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/67 "2005-04-10T08:52:20Z")
> [@Zakalwe](#): > > Mudslides destroy 30 homes > Ski-lift collapses, kills 45 > Problems with election, recount ordered Louisiana Hawaii Rhode Island That was easy! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/68 "2005-04-10T14:00:28Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Well, okay then! “Dispute over deer stand leaves three dead” would probably be Michigan. Dispute over deer stand would be settled the Manly Way: Beer Hunter. We may be backwards, but we are civilized. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/69 "2005-04-10T15:33:02Z")
C’mon, how about Detroit-specific? Do Detroit! ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/70 "2005-04-10T17:03:40Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > C’mon, how about Detroit-specific? Do Detroit! Hmmm… _Fistfight Erupts at City Council Meeting; 3 Injured, Mayor’s Bodyguard Arrested_ ---
**Author:** ![SlyFrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@SlyFrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlyFrog)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/71 "2005-04-10T17:14:51Z")
I didn’t read the full story. What happened, did the team not make state this year, or was there an irrational reason for the killing? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/72 "2005-04-10T18:06:32Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Well, okay then! “Dispute over deer stand leaves three dead” would probably be Michigan. That was in Wisconsin, it was 6 dead, and the shooter was from Minnesota. Tho all three of the above-mentioned states are fairly similar in many respects. Just don’t confuse this Wisconsinite with the folk from Illinois! 😃 QtM, who’s lived in two of those 3 states, and visited the 3rd one more than once. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/73 "2005-04-10T20:26:36Z")
Barred from playing any school sports, eh? My guess is that grades went out, kid got caught on the “no pass, no play” rule, and the class he did poorly in happened to be the coach’s. Lord knows my mother’s had plenty of parents threaten her over “giving” their children bad grades over the years, and the athletes’ parents tend to be especially nutty in this regard. Kid lays around and does no work, and it’s the teacher’s fault he gets a bad grade and can’t play. Given how Texans tend to be about their football (they make Kentucky basketball fans look apathetic), it;s easy to see a parent actually getting violent. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/74 "2005-04-10T20:46:38Z")
Huh. So in addition to gun-totin’, violent and fanatical, **lieu** proves Texans are also whiny. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2005, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/75 "2005-04-10T22:06:28Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > How about Massachusetts… > > Well, we’ve got the Bulger brothers and a town named Belcher. And Mike Dukaka. And our drivers, which strike terror in the hearts of Greek cabbies. > [@Johanna](#): > > The way someone from Massachusetts told me, there’s a town called Belcher and a town called Athol. Route 202, the road connecting them, is called the Alimentary Canal. Bwahahaha! I hadn’t heard that one before. You Texans are too high strung. What you need is to go to a few good gay wedding receptions. Loosen you right up. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Lok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lok)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/76 "2005-04-11T08:11:28Z")
> [@Waterman](#): > > As I read the headline I didn’t immediately think “Texas”. No I thought “NRA” when seeing reference to a AK-47 assault rifle in the hands of a man with a history of violent temper and the aforementioned road rage. But God Bless his constitutional right to have an assault rifle!! I just checked several of the news stories on the web and I have to ask you, What fucking AK-47? All of them I read said the shooting was with a pistol, usually saying either it was apparently a .45 or just large calibre. He did apparently have other guns, with the stories ranging from saying he had 2, to saying his pickup truck (located 500 feet from where he had collapsed) was “loaded with guns.” But none of the stories say anything about the type of gun or guns he had when found, and none say anything about him using an AK-47. So did I miss something, or did you just pull that little rave out of your ass? BTW, while it is possible to legally own an AK-47 in the United States, it requires an expensive license and I believe a federal background check. If this lunatic actually does have an AK-47, or any other kind of automatic weapon, either the actual rifle or a modified semi-auto version, and doesn’t have the license (doubtful he does, considering what has been revealed of his background) he could easily be facing Federal charges for that. I guess we know what stereotypes you believe in. :rolleyes: Speaking of which, here in Ohio, we supposedly voted for Bush. :eek: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/77 "2005-04-11T13:43:53Z")
Discussions suggesting the inappropriateness of blaming anyone more than the individual involved a bit too high of a reach for you, eh **Bryan Ekers**? To the rest, Friday sucked on 8 levels and sorry if I was touchy. A bad day indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/78 "2005-04-11T13:50:23Z")
> [@](#): > > Mr. Rilch: “…“Union official missing; police suspect **foul** play.”?” There was a chicken involved with the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa. Foghorn Leghorn wanted for questioning. " I say, the boy had it comin’ to him. He ran into my knife, I say, he ran into my knife nine times. " ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/79 "2005-04-11T14:04:37Z")
That would have been funnier if he’d spelled “foul” as “fowl.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400/80 "2005-04-11T15:13:10Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > Huh. So in addition to gun-totin’, violent and fanatical, **lieu** proves Texans are also whiny. Just some friendly, and free, advice. It probably isn’t a good idea to call a ‘gun totin’, violent, fanatic’, whiney. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rational-man-fires-a-45-into-football-coachs-chest/298400.md?page=5)