# Re-cast Lord of the Rings. Badly. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 23, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974 "2013-08-23T15:35:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/1 "2013-08-23T15:35:35Z")
I dunno why I was thinking of this as I prepared for work this morning. Bilbo - Joe Pesci Gandalf - Andrew Dice Clay Aragorn - Dennis Leary Boromir - Keanu Reeves Legolas - Robert Pattinson Gimli - Patton Oswalt Frodo - Rupert Grint Elrond - Andy Dick Arwen - Lindsay Lohan Galadriel - Roseanne Barr Denethor - John Schuck in pure ham mode Theoden - Johnny Depp doing one of his ‘characters’ ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/2 "2013-08-23T15:37:30Z")
Saruman - Jamie Farr Gollum - Mr. T Faramir - Gilbert Godfrey ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/3 "2013-08-23T16:22:29Z")
I actually think Patton Oswalt could pull off Gimli. But these couldn’t: Gandalf - Gilbert Gottfried Gollum - William Shatner Aragorn - Will Smith Frodo - Manute Bol Bilbo - Yao Ming Merry - Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Pippin - Scottie Pippen 😃 Gimli - Gwyneth Paltrow Elrond - Danny DeVito Galadriel - Snooki Arwen - Honey Boo Boo Legolas - Ben Stiller ---
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/4 "2013-08-23T16:26:53Z")
This could be fun, but I think there needs to be some “ground rules” - certain people cast in ANY role would ruin a film. (these are some of the first people to come to mind, but then I realized they would mess up the cast of any movie) So to re-cast LOTR, you may NOT use: - Pauly Shore - Adam Sandler - Rosie O’Donnell - Ahhnold Even Keanu Reeves and Lindsay Lohan are candidates for this exclusion list. Proceed… ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/5 "2013-08-23T16:31:12Z")
Gimli: RuPaul ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/6 "2013-08-23T16:52:57Z")
Bilbo - Bill Murray Gandalf - John Malkovich Aragorn - Kevin Costner Boromir - Tom Green Legolas - Andy Dick Gimli - Kevin Pollak Frodo - Leonardo DiCaprio Elrond - John Cleese Arwen - Mila Kunis Galadriel - Emily Procter Denethor - Jack Nicholson Theoden - Sean Connery ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/7 "2013-08-23T17:02:30Z")
Sean Connery was considered for Gandalf & reportedly. Opulent understand th script. Dodged a bullet there. ---
**Author:** ![Lowdown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Lowdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lowdown)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/8 "2013-08-23T17:08:44Z")
Bilbo - Sam Elliot Gandalf - Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Aragorn - Ryan Reynolds Boromir - Don Cheadle Legolas - Robin Williams Gimli - Robert Pattison Frodo - Ben Affleck Elrond - John Turturo Arwen - Janeane Garofalo Galadriel - Anna Paquin ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/9 "2013-08-23T17:24:40Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I dunno why I was thinking of this as I prepared for work this morning. > > Bilbo - Joe Pesci > > Gandalf - Andrew Dice Clay > Aragorn - Dennis Leary > Boromir - Keanu Reeves > Legolas - Robert Pattinson > Gimli - Patton Oswalt > Frodo - Rupert Grint > > Elrond - Andy Dick > Arwen - Lindsay Lohan > Galadriel - Roseanne Barr > > Denethor - John Schuck in pure ham mode > > Theoden - Johnny Depp doing one of his ‘characters’ I thought you said “badly,” not “awesomely.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/10 "2013-08-23T18:06:28Z")
Tyler Perry presents: Lord of the Rings ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/11 "2013-08-23T18:15:20Z")
> [@well\_he\_s\_back](#): > > Sean Connery was considered for Gandalf & reportedly. Opulent understand th script. Dodged a bullet there. Opulent understand? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/12 "2013-08-23T18:23:32Z")
Meesa tink yousa stole my precious! ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/13 "2013-08-23T18:26:56Z")
Gandalf – Ron Jeremy Gimli – Dave Chappelle Legolas – Kevin Costner (you know, because Robin Hood had a bow, too!) Arwen – Tina Fey Saruman - Jim Carrey as Fire Marshall Bill Gollum – Shaq ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/14 "2013-08-23T18:29:12Z")
How embarrassing. I should just not type on my cell phone. Imeant to say earlier that reportedly Connery couldn’t understand the story . Sorry ---
**Author:** ![Bakhesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Bakhesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bakhesh)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/15 "2013-08-23T18:34:53Z")
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Hollywood might be listening!! ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/16 "2013-08-23T18:41:04Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > Tyler Perry presents: Lord of the Rings Thread winner. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/17 "2013-08-23T18:41:26Z")
Tragically, we’ll never be able to cast the [perfect Gandalf](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9d/Divine_in_Heaven_T-shirt.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/18 "2013-08-23T19:41:52Z")
Sauron - Katie Couric ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/19 "2013-08-23T19:48:43Z")
This thread is cracking me up. My first thought was Johnny Depp (in any role, although I do greatly admire his abilities) as Aragorn. I mean, he could do a really good Aragorn because Depp can communicate a LOT with his eyes and he’s got a good voice, but his Tim Burton baggage would haunt the role too much. ---
**Author:** ![nicky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f0a364/32.png) [@nicky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nicky)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974/20 "2013-08-23T20:25:28Z")
Gandalf - Michael Caine Btw Anyone else think Bean and Mortensen were cast the wrong way round ? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-cast-lord-of-the-rings-badly/666974.md?page=2)