# Re: Do Plants Have ESP **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [January 24, 2014, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575 "2014-01-24T00:39:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![islandladi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@islandladi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/islandladi)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/1 "2014-01-24T00:39:11Z")
Information may have changed! Peer Reviewed article: “And that was when something happened that forever changed Baxter’s life and ours. For the plant didn’t wait for him to light the match. It reacted to his thoughts!..” "Researchers from Michigan State University have also recently discovered that plants have a rudimentary nerve structure, which allows them to feel pain. According to the peer-reviewed journal Plant Physiology, plants are capable of identifying danger, signaling that danger to other plants and marshaling defenses against perceived threats. According to botanist Bill Williams of the Helvetica Institute, “plants not only seem to be aware and to feel pain, they can even communicate…” And more from: [Do plants have feelings? The amazing life of plants.](http://www.viewzone.com/plants.html) As a long time veggie gardner, I have also proved this to myself. * * * LINK TO COLUMN: [Do plants have ESP? - The Straight Dope](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1077/do-plants-have-esp) ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/2 "2014-01-24T01:19:40Z")
> [@islandladi](#): > > …As a long time veggie gardner, I have also proved this to myself. You monster! ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/3 "2014-01-24T02:55:57Z")
Before you get too excited, take a look at the “Helvetica Institute’s” home page. The quacking sound is deafening, or maybe I’m just too mired in conventional definitions of energy… ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/4 "2014-01-24T03:38:16Z")
Does it echo? ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/5 "2014-01-24T17:28:03Z")
Welcome to the Straight Dope Message Boards, **islandladi** , we’re glad you found us. For future ref: when one starts a thread, it’s helpful to other readers to provide a link to the column in question. Saves search time, and helps keep us (roughly) on the same page. No biggie, I’ve edited it at the bottom of your post, and you’ll know for next time. That column was indeed from 1988, and I’ll bring it to Cecil’s attention that there may be new information since then. Whether he’ll do an updated column, or add footnotes, or ignore it all, or whatever, I can’t predict. Anyhow, as I say, welcome!! Meanwhile: **TimeWinder** , did you mean for your post to go in the duck-echoing thread? Let me know and I’ll move it. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/6 "2014-01-24T17:40:11Z")
> [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > Meanwhile: **TimeWinder** , did you mean for your post to go in the duck-echoing thread? Let me know and I’ll move it. I think what \*\*TimeWinder \*\*is saying is that the Helvitica Institute website spews a great deal of woo. If it looks likes like a crackpot, and sounds like a crackpot, it probably is a crackpot. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/7 "2014-01-24T17:50:12Z")
> [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > Meanwhile: **TimeWinder** , did you mean for your post to go in the duck-echoing thread? Let me know and I’ll move it. I think he meant that the “Helvetica Institute”, where some of the research was supposedly done, is one big mystery. [Their website](http://helveticainstitute.org) tells us almost nothing about it, and [their faculty](http://helveticainstitute.org/faculty.htm) adds only more mystery-“Dr. Herbert West”? “The Center for the Institute of Studies”? Where is this institute? When was it established? Who runs it? Whjy is there no mention of this supposed Institute (or “The Center for the Institute of Studies”) anywhere on the web? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/8 "2014-01-24T18:10:15Z")
[“Famous” Helvetica Institute alumni.](http://helveticainstitute.org/alumni.htm) "Deus Bioengineering doesn’t seem to exist outside of a mention on the alumni page, and “Energon Thermodynamics” made a claim that they invented a nuclear-powered light bulb that powers itself. I’m beginning to believe this “Helvetica Institute” is a one or two man operation run out of someone’s basement. ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/9 "2014-01-24T18:39:06Z")
> [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > Meanwhile: **TimeWinder** , did you mean for your post to go in the duck-echoing thread? Let me know and I’ll move it. No, I didn’t realize there _was_ a duck-echoing thread. As others have guessed, I’m accusing the Helvetica Institute of being quacks. I’ll have my sarcasmometer adjusted, it’s apparently out of spec. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/10 "2014-01-24T19:45:35Z")
> [@TimeWinder](#): > > No, I didn’t realize there _was_ a duck-echoing thread. As others have guessed, I’m accusing the Helvetica Institute of being quacks. I’ll have my sarcasmometer adjusted, it’s apparently out of spec. Or my reading comprehension skills have been frozen by the hideous cold hitting Chicago. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/11 "2014-01-24T20:48:59Z")
I suspect I know the origin of the [Helvetica Institute](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2k9JwGpm1w)’s name. And I’m reasonably certain that the people behind it are not, in fact, quacks. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/12 "2014-01-24T21:05:28Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I suspect I know the origin of the [Helvetica Institute](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2k9JwGpm1w)’s name. And I’m reasonably certain that the people behind it are not, in fact, quacks. What part of that ten minute video should we be looking at? ---
**Author:** ![Blackfaer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@Blackfaer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackfaer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/13 "2014-01-25T00:51:47Z")
If a Helvetica Institute Doctor falls in the forest, does it make an echo? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/14 "2014-01-25T01:11:45Z")
The part that mentions Helvetica is about six minutes in, but might not make sense without context. “Look Around You” is a series of fake science classroom films. They’re quite funny, once you realize they’re jokes. ---
**Author:** ![PacifistPorcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PacifistPorcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PacifistPorcupine)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/15 "2014-01-25T01:47:16Z")
Urm, scroll all the way down on the Helvetica Institute page and it saysL > [@](#): > > This site is produced in conjunction with [uncoveror.com](http://uncoveror.com) Click that link and you can learn that: -KIM JONG UN ATTACKS SANTA CLAUS ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/16 "2014-02-01T15:19:51Z")
I know for a fact my lawn hates me, and I enjoy their sap-curdling screaming once a week. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/17 "2014-02-01T15:47:24Z")
I have told my plants before to “bloom or die”, and some actually seem to respond to these threats. I have no evidence they are plotting against me, but ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/18 "2014-02-04T00:30:29Z")
Be careful burning Hawthorn trees alive, they have ways of making you pay for such a sin. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/19 "2014-02-04T15:30:13Z")
> [@watchwolf49](#): > > I know for a fact my lawn hates me, and I enjoy their sap-curdling screaming once a week. > [@Jack Handey](#): > > If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575/20 "2014-02-08T11:37:58Z")
Picking flowers … think about it … what would the average plant feel? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-do-plants-have-esp/679575.md?page=2)