# Re-introducing Joey Hemlock, Man of Exquisite Taste and Beauty **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2002, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964 "2002-12-06T17:26:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/41 "2002-12-06T20:19:54Z")
“I… didn’t notice” ANDIE MACDOWELL MUST DIE. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/42 "2002-12-06T20:22:03Z")
That doesn’t make sense, does it? The actual quote is “Is it still raining? I hadn’t noticed” FOR WHICH SHE MUST DIE. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/43 "2002-12-06T20:33:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JoeyHemlock \* > \*\*Was that REALLY Dennis Rodman with his hands over your nipples, or did they do that digitally somehow? \*\* Ha! That Dennis. He’s a madman. He’s got soft hands, though. ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/44 "2002-12-06T20:56:58Z")
I heartily second, third, and fourth the glowing endorsements of Joey Hemlock contained herein. Defender of the weak and friend to children, he once walked across a lake to heal an injured swan. He is the mayor of Bangkok, Thailand. A hug from Joey can shrink tumors. Women want him and men want to be him. He is love. Please, buy Joey Hemlock where you work or bank! Your country is depending on you! ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecccb3/32.png) [@Lord\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/45 "2002-12-06T21:23:12Z")
Hi, Joey. I missed you, bud. How’s it goin’? ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/46 "2002-12-06T21:32:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Francesca \* > \*\*That doesn’t make sense, does it? The actual quote is > > “Is it still raining? I hadn’t noticed” > > FOR WHICH SHE MUST DIE. \*\* As usual, I agree with Frannie 100%! AAAARRRRGGGHHH. Her acting skills rival Keanu Reeves for sheer cardboardness. Sheer cardboard. Hm. Anyway, Joey once tried to eat my nose as well. I admit I didn’t really enjoy the experience, but I do like Joey quite a lot anyway. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/47 "2002-12-06T21:33:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bristlesage \* > \*\*Like Jiminy Cricket, he will never steer you wrong. Let JoeyHemlock be your guide! \*\* Awww, you’re so sweet! It’s things like this that are going to get you stalked one day soon! ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/48 "2002-12-06T21:44:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Juniper200 \* > \*\*Please, buy Joey Hemlock where you work or bank! Your country is depending on you! \*\* Beware of imitation Joey Hemlock. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/49 "2002-12-06T21:48:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lord Jim \* > \*\*Hi, Joey. I missed you, bud. How’s it goin’? \*\* There is nothing I can say to turn this into a ridiculous story or a snarky back-handed comment disguised as a joke. So, um, hi! ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/50 "2002-12-06T21:50:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kyla \* > \*\*Anyway, Joey once tried to eat my nose as well. I admit I didn’t really enjoy the experience… \*\* It’s never the best the first time. We just need to keep working on it and before you know it, you’ll be so into it that you don’t even think about how “dirty” or “sinful” it is. ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/51 "2002-12-06T21:57:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JoeyHemlock \* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by OxyMoron_I’m sure Mr. Lecter would agree. > > > > \ > > \*\*Haha! That’s great! Man, I almost spit Coke out my nose when I read that. > > Wait, no I didn’t. In fact, I have no idea what you’re talking about. \*\* Fava beans. Chianti. “Man of exquisite taste,” indeed. Whaddami supposta quote, Charlie the Tuna? ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/52 "2002-12-06T21:59:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JoeyHemlock \* > \*\*It’s part of a crazy hacker subculture (i.e. 12-15 year old rich boys and **Hamadryad** ) where \>\<'s are x’s and 0’s are o’s and 7’s are t’s and 1’s are i’s and 3’s are e’s and 5’s are s’s. > > Kids. :rolleyes: \*\* For all we know, Hama _is_ a 12-year-old rich boy. Wait. I’ve met Hama. Never mind. 🙂 [sub]Good to see you back, Joey[/sub] Robin ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/53 "2002-12-06T22:02:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MsRobyn \* > \*\*For all we know, Hama _is_ a 12-year-old rich boy. \*\* For a 12-year-old boy, Hama’s got nice tits. ---
**Author:** ![Sophie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@Sophie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophie)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/54 "2002-12-06T22:07:56Z")
The first time I met Joey, he bit me, and then he brumskied me. I love him. Buy him today! ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/55 "2002-12-06T22:15:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sophie \* > \*\*The first time I met Joey, he bit me, and then he brumskied me. I love him. Buy him today! \*\* LIES! ALL LIES! I bit her and brumskied her the SECOND time I met her! And she was asking for it, being all cute and charming and smelling nice. I can’t be blamed for something that is so clearly her fault. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/56 "2002-12-06T22:19:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OxyMoron \* > \*\*\*\*Whaddami supposta quote, Charlie the Tuna? \*\* You’re right. I’m sorry, but I just get so frustrated with your ways sometimes. I have to remember that as close as we are, we’re still diffferent people with different need. But I’m willing to work this out if you are. I think we have something special… something symbiotic and real and _necessary_. Let’s try to make it work. ---
**Author:** ![Joyfulgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f04885/32.png) [@Joyfulgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joyfulgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/57 "2002-12-06T22:29:36Z")
**JoeyHemlock** back? This is a great day, a great day indeed! [sup]Even for those of us who have admired you from afar.[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/58 "2002-12-06T22:50:31Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Joyfulgirl \* \*\*Even for those of us who have admired you from afar./B]/QUOTE] I don’t know who you are, but **I do know that I love you**. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/59 "2002-12-06T22:53:06Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by JoeyHemlock \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Joyfulgirl \* > \*\* (poorly coded profession of love) \*\* Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand now I hate you for fucking my coding brain up with your evil seductive sorceress ways! ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/60 "2002-12-06T22:56:18Z")
Welcome back, **Joey**. I’ve enjoyed reading your LJ entries very much, and hope to get the same amount of enjoyment (or more so) out of reading your posts here! 🙂 now, if only I can _meet_ you, and thus be in the same room as your greatness, I’d be truly happy… F\_X [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964.md?page=4)