# Re-introducing Joey Hemlock, Man of Exquisite Taste and Beauty **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2002, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964 "2002-12-06T17:26:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/101 "2002-12-09T00:04:40Z")
Haven’t personally met him, but I want him to come over to my house and cook dinner for me. He always has gourmet recipes. 🙂 And he looks very pretty with a smile and ponytails. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/102 "2002-12-09T01:53:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tir Tinuviel \* > _ **offers her breast for Joey to pin a medal to…** _ It’s important that we pin that medal on JUST RIGHT. I’m going to take my time with this. Also, I’m going to use my mouth to do the pinning. And I’ll just have to keep you steady, so I’ll just put my hands here on your butt… This is my 600th post, and I’m using it on you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/103 "2002-12-09T01:59:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KarlGrenze \* > **Haven’t personally met him, but I want him to come over to my house and cook dinner for me.** As long as I don’t have to cook you for dinner. Some things are better eaten uncooked. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/104 "2002-12-09T22:34:12Z")
**JoeyHemlock** When you care enough to give the very best.\* \*[sub]not valid in the mitten state[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/105 "2002-12-09T22:35:50Z")
it’s **send** dammit, **SEND**!! arrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhh If I had a soul, I’d sell it for a brain. cripes:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/106 "2002-12-10T00:30:21Z")
Welcome back, Joey. What happened to your page of DTF pics? ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/107 "2002-12-10T00:37:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miss Creant \* > \*_ **JoeyHemlock** > When you care enough to give the very best._ > > \*[sub]not valid in the mitten state[/sub] \*\* Is this some kind of nasty against my home state of Michigan? HUH??? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT??? ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/108 "2002-12-10T01:33:07Z")
no, I just like the phrase, “mitten state” sue me ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/109 "2002-12-10T01:44:04Z")
I will then. I’m suing you for the emotional distress caused by knowing I won’t see you and MrC in New York. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/110 "2002-12-10T02:01:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kyla \* > \*\*I will then. I’m suing you for the emotional distress caused by knowing I won’t see you and MrC in New York. \*\* Only the fabulous **Mr. Hemlock** is allowed to sue me. You can just get your ass down to Chicago. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/111 "2002-12-10T02:16:10Z")
I will, then! To see Joey, of course. ---
**Author:** ![IGJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/igjoe/32/5420_2.png) [@IGJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IGJoe)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/112 "2002-12-10T02:47:05Z")
Hmm… being a relative newbie, I’m afraid I haven’t heard of this **JoeyHemlock** character. Does he come with a money-back guarantee? Is he spill-proof? How many leather shoes could he cut through without needing to be sharpened? What about ICantBelieveItsNotJoeyHemlock? ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/113 "2002-12-10T03:35:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*Welcome back, Joey. What happened to your page of DTF pics? \*\* The company went under and I lost 'em ALL. It makes me very angry. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/114 "2002-12-10T03:36:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miss Creant \* > **If I had a soul, I’d sell it for a brain.** When you have a Lilly, you don’t need a brain. Or at least SHE doesn’t. I don’t know how that works. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/115 "2002-12-10T03:37:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kyla \* > \*\*To see Joey, of course. \*\* Don’t come in between Feb 1st and 15th. I will be invisible for that period. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/116 "2002-12-10T03:41:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr Pud \* > \*\*Hmm… being a relative newbie, I’m afraid I haven’t heard of this **JoeyHemlock** character. Does he come with a money-back guarantee? Is he spill-proof? How many leather shoes could he cut through without needing to be sharpened? What about ICantBelieveItsNotJoeyHemlock? \*\* Hee hee, newbies are so cute. 😃 Mr. Pud (if that _is_ your real name), just sit back, relax, and trust the **JoeyHemlock**. He will not lead you astray. ---
**Author:** ![IGJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/igjoe/32/5420_2.png) [@IGJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IGJoe)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/117 "2002-12-10T04:12:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JoeyHemlock \* > **Mr. Pud (if that _is_ your real name…** [Sidney Poitier]They call me MISTER Pud![/Sidney Poitier] ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/118 "2002-12-10T04:31:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JoeyHemlock \* > \*\*When you have a Lilly, you don’t need a brain. Or at least SHE doesn’t. I don’t know how that works. \*\* She doesn’t. Just a brain stem and some cerebral spinal fluid. [Young Frankenstein] “who’s brain is this?” “abby something” “abby who?” “abby normal” [/Young Frankenstein] ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/119 "2002-12-10T04:54:41Z")
Is your real name Fonzie? ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964/120 "2002-12-10T08:25:11Z")
Hello, Joey! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-introducing-joey-hemlock-man-of-exquisite-taste-and-beauty/140964.md?page=7)