# Re joining the RCChurch **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 30, 2023, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311 "2023-10-30T15:04:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bentleyfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f08c70/32.png) [@bentleyfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bentleyfox)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/1 "2023-10-30T15:04:11Z")
Advice please: How would a 74-year-old woman who was a practising RC ( baptised and confirmed) return to the Church following conversion to the Anglican faith, divorce and re-marriage? The first marriage was not annulled or declared invalid, but the husband of the second marriage is now impotent, rendering sex impossible, so removing that impediment. Could the person simply go to confession? ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/2 "2023-10-30T15:26:46Z")
**Moderator Action** Welcome to the SDMB, @bentleyfox. Note that this site is divided into different “categories” (aka forums). Please take the time to read the various category descriptions. Your post is best suited to our IMHO category, which is for advice and opinions. It’s no biggie. I will move your post for you. Moved from Cecil’s Columns to IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/3 "2023-10-30T15:28:52Z")
I assume by RC you mean Royal Catholic. The first step is to speak to your local priest. He will tell you what you need to do. Generally speaking, it most likely will involve simply going to confession, but the priest will give you proper instructions for your specific situation. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/4 "2023-10-30T15:36:17Z")
> [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > Royal Catholic Even in the UK, I think it’s Roman Catholic. 🙃 ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/5 "2023-10-30T15:38:23Z")
D’oh! I have no idea why I typed Royal. Some sort of brain fart. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/6 "2023-10-30T15:58:50Z")
Maybe you saw “RC” and thought of the Cola, where is stands for Royal Crown? RC Cola and Moonpies are what we use for communion here in North Carolina. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/7 "2023-10-30T16:06:55Z")
Your parish priest will have the answers for you; this isn’t confessional material as I doubt anything you’ve done would be considered a sin exactly. More of a sit-down in the office. The conversion/re-conversion probably won’t affect you much although there might be some ritual reaffirming your commitment to Catholicism. Divorce rules in the RCC are arcane, but these kinds of complications are common these days and there are standard procedures. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/8 "2023-10-30T16:54:32Z")
I admit to being curious what happens to her current marriage situation vis-a-vis the church, and whether accommodation is made based on the OP’s assertion of her husband’s impotence. That is, do they forgive the second marriage since it happened when she was not a practicing Catholic? It wasn’t mentioned, but I presume the first husband is still alive. How bendy does doctrine have to be to deal with this situation? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/9 "2023-10-30T17:21:09Z")
I’ve always heard “Once a Catholic, always a Catholic,” (unless you get yourself excommunicated). You wouldn’t have to re-join since you technically never left. The fellow my kid sister married had his first marriage annulled – wouldn’t that make his children bastards in the eyes of the church? ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/10 "2023-10-30T17:39:14Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > I’ve always heard “Once a Catholic, always a Catholic,” (unless you get yourself excommunicated). No, you’re thinking of the Jets. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/11 "2023-10-30T17:40:40Z")
Quiet, you. 🤣 🤣 (ETA: needs more 🤣 🤣.) ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/12 "2023-10-30T17:49:35Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > Your parish priest will have the answers for you; this isn’t confessional material as I doubt anything you’ve done would be considered a sin exactly. I’m going to assume that while she was Anglican she wasn’t meeting her obligation to attend Mass on Sunday ( An Anglican Mass doesn’t fulfill the obligation) so there probably is some confessional material - especially if the OP s more comfortable in a confessional that face to face. I’m not sure that the conversion is a separate issue. > [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > The fellow my kid sister married had his first marriage annulled – wouldn’t that make his children bastards in the eyes of the church? Nope - to the extent that illegitimacy matters ( I don’t think it does at all, anymore. Used to be an impediment to ordination) children of an annulled marriage are not illegitimate. After all, no one knew when the kids were born that the marriage wasn’t valid. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/13 "2023-10-30T18:00:18Z")
> [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > D’oh! I have no idea why I typed Royal. Some sort of brain fart. We’ll blame auto-incorrect for that one. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/14 "2023-10-30T21:37:12Z")
> [@bentleyfox](#): > > Advice please: How would a 74-year-old woman who was a practising RC ( baptised and confirmed) return to the Church following conversion to the Anglican faith, divorce and re-marriage? I recommend meeting with a priest, but ask around first to find the more open, liberal priests. And if you can, go to different churches and meet with different priests. Some can be overly strict and unreasonable. Briefly about me, I was raised RC, baptized and confirmed, and my wife was too. For the last 25 years we’ve been going to an ELCA Lutheran church. The liturgies are similar but there are several important differences in the rules and sacraments. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2023, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/15 "2023-10-30T21:42:09Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > … but ask around first to find the more open, liberal priests … Start by trying to find a Jesuit parish. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2023, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/16 "2023-10-31T03:19:54Z")
> [@bentleyfox](#): > > …but the husband of the second marriage is now impotent, rendering sex impossible, so removing that impediment. I think I’m missing something here. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2023, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/17 "2023-10-31T11:27:14Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > No, you’re thinking of the Jets. Thanks for my first smile of the day. mmm ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2023, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/18 "2023-10-31T12:34:28Z")
I don’t think you’re missing something as much as I don’t think it really matters - I _think_ the idea is that since he’s impotent , they can’t have sex so the remarriage is OK, since “no sex”. But although I have heard that people in this situation are told “to live as brother and sister” while waiting for an annulment, it doesn’t eliminate the need for an annulment. ---
**Author:** ![Falchion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Falchion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falchion)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2023, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/19 "2023-10-31T12:53:07Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > I _think_ the idea is that since he’s impotent , they can’t have sex so the remarriage is OK, since “no sex”. It was my understanding (as a non-Catholic) that civil divorce was not recognized by the Church. So the first marriage remains in effect (assuming it complied with any relevant requirements in its formation) unless it is annulled by the church. A second (civil) marriage, therefore, constitutes adultery. If your second husband is impotent, then you’re not married to him in the eyes of the Church, but you’re also not committing adultery. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2023, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/20 "2023-10-31T12:55:03Z")
I’m not a Roman Catholic, but have a RC friend who got divorced and wanted to carry on being a practising Catholic. I think the issue is that the RC Church would regard her as ‘still married’ to the first husband, and is therefore barred from taking Holy Communion. My friend had to get her first marriage annulled before she could take Communion. She has never remarried. Of course, if the OPs first marriage was not in a Catholic Church, they may not count it anyway. Certainly worth asking a (nice) priest! As to confession, that’s something all RCs have to do on a regular schedule anyway, in order to remain in a ‘state of grace’. So she’ll certainly have to do that bit pronto! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311.md?page=2)