# Re joining the RCChurch **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 30, 2023, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311 "2023-10-30T15:04:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2023, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/61 "2023-11-04T01:21:44Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Those in limbo (like the unfortunate unbaptized babies) **never** get out. That’s what made my gf dump catholicism. The concept of them burning babies, fuck that! ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2023, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/62 "2023-11-04T01:55:59Z")
They didn’t burn in limbo. Back when there **was** limbo, that is. They just hung around forever not in God’s presence, but not suffering either. Yeah, I know, makes no sense. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2023, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/63 "2023-11-04T03:30:58Z")
Maybe they didn’t burn, but it would be really unpleasant to have to keep dancing under that bar for all eternity. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2023, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/64 "2023-11-04T07:27:29Z")
There are lots of old Irish stories about mountainy mid-wives heroically working one small breath into a stillborn babe and quickly baptizing them to keep them out of limbo. It was an evil, horrible lie to tell to all those poor parents who lost their babies. And while I’m glad they have finally dropped it, I’d still like to hear them say openly that babies go to heaven and always did. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2023, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/65 "2023-11-04T14:28:37Z")
Well, they probably get all the Mai Tais they can drink for all eternity, so there’s that. ---
**Author:** ![bentleyfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f08c70/32.png) [@bentleyfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bentleyfox)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2023, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/66 "2023-11-07T20:21:18Z")
It is interesting to hear how you were baptised. We baptised our grandsons in their baths because their mother and father would not have them Baptised, even though the mother was baptized and confirmed RC and married in the faith. The husband is not baptised, and they were married under ’ disparity of cult.’ My concern is that the boys do not know. Should I leave them a letter with my solicitor to be given to them when they turn eighteen or when I die? Not telling them would mean a future priest/minister who might baptise them subsequently, thinking they were unbaptised, would not know. So long as the baptism uses the correct form of words with water poured over the child’s head simultaneously, I believe it is valid. It’s a question I have been ruminating upon because their grandfather and I are now divorced, and he always said we should not tell. He is afraid of upsetting their mother. I am not. I am inclined to write such a letter for them available upon my death. What do people think? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2023, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/67 "2023-11-07T20:43:35Z")
I don’t think a second baptism would matter, in terms of religion. I do think that this letter depends a lot on your relationship with the grandchildren, and their age. If they know you, and know that you’re religious, that’s one thing; if you’re not close, or if there’s tension, or if they’re unaware that you’re religious, that’s another. In my own case, I would have liked a letter from my grandmother, but I can’t think of a mechanism that would have gotten it to me—she died when I was in high school, but there was no formal will and my parents didn’t really consider me at the time, as they were more concerned with themselves and the practical aspects. I think they thought I was too young or something. For all I know, she did write one, and it was thrown away. But I can equally see other people finding such a letter problematic or disturbing, so I’d check this idea with people who know you and know your family dynamics. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2023, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/68 "2023-11-07T20:44:36Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > . I can’t quite add to it, but I’m a lapsed Catholic too (did all the motions in my childhood, was an altar boy till the age of 17). I lost my faith and respect for the Catholic church around age 12, but only officially quit in 1993 when I was 25 You sound quite like me, although I’m a woman and American. I stopped attending church in my teens, but I was an unbeliever before I quite going. My younger sister tells me she’s amazed I figured it out so soon. I told her I was surprised she believed as long as she did! ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2023, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/69 "2023-11-07T20:45:59Z")
> [@bentleyfox](#): > > I am inclined to write such a letter for them available upon my death. What do people think? To be frank, I think it was a dick move to baptize your grandchildren without their (I assume they were too young) and their parents’ consent. It reminds me of Mormons baptizing all kinds of people posthumously, which is also wrong. I’m generally against baptizing or similar rites for children too young to know or consent. Ask again when they are, say, 14. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2023, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/70 "2023-11-07T20:52:24Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > I’m generally against baptizing or similar rites for children too young to know or consent. Right, but this is a pretty standard part of the faith, and in fact caused major splintering within Christianity (see Anabaptists). There’s an issue of doing ANYTHING to children againt the parents’ wishes, but it’s a done deed in this case. Children are baptized without the ability to consent by the billion. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2023, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/71 "2023-11-07T20:53:14Z")
As far as I can tell, that baptism was illicit but may be valid. If you wanted to join the Church , they would either decide that that baptism was valid or decide that it wasn’t/might not be valid. If it was valid, it’s valid. If there’s any question, that’s what a “conditional baptism” is for. If no one knows of a previous baptism and the ceremony is performed again, the second ceremony simply has no effect. So if I was a secretly baptizing grandmother , ( I’m not, even though my kids were brought up Catholic and my grandchildren aren’t baptized.) I wouldn’t tell anyone, It can’t do any good and might do some harm - people can be mad at a dead person. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2023, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/72 "2023-11-07T21:04:33Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > Right, but this is a pretty standard part of the faith, and in fact caused major splintering within Christianity (see Anabaptists). There’s an issue of doing ANYTHING to children againt the parents’ wishes, but it’s a done deed in this case. Children are baptized without the ability to consent by the billion. Of course you’re right, and fighting it is a losing battle. But the fact that it happens billions of time doesn’t make it right. And to the Catholic Church: don’t dare tell me I’m Catholic, because one of your priests once sprinkled some H2O over my head and mumbled magic words while I was pissing my diapers. I _know_ I’m not Catholic, and to prove it I still have my receipt from the state that I quit, signed and stamped by a loyal German state official. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2023, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311/73 "2023-11-07T23:24:36Z")
> [@bentleyfox](#): > > I am inclined to write such a letter for them available upon my death. What do people think? Don’t bother. I’m sure my mother has baptized my children in a similar, and all a letter would do is make my eyes roll and think less of her. My wife is a Christian, and will certainly have them enroll in baptism through her church, but on her time. If your grandkids end up going through their own process, it’s not like a baptism is going to get cancelled out if they don’t know. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-joining-the-rcchurch/992311.md?page=3)