# Reactionaries of the world unite! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 9, 2003, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484 "2003-01-09T08:42:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/21 "2003-01-09T14:21:58Z")
Comrade **Chumpsky** , what’s with the fanatical Socialist shtick? You do know there are Socialists who work in big American department stores, right? I used to be good friends with one. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/22 "2003-01-09T14:29:52Z")
Um, I’m not good at Political Theory, but I thought that the Reactionaries were the Downtrodden Marxists, the Communists, the Proletariat and the Have-Nots, who are standing at the gates hollering for the Haves to come out and give up their expensive hookers so that the wealth may be redistributed. Yes? No? So, then, why does Chumpsky appear to be calling on the Reactionaries to give up their “boats, wage-slaves, expensive cars, mansions, fine wines, and expensive hookers”? I thought the whole point is that the Reactionaries don’t have anything. Or is he perhaps Time Traveling back into the 1970s and 80s, and is addressing the corrupt Soviet KGB and other government officials who all had boats, wage-slaves, expensive cars, mansions, fine wines, and expensive hookers, while the Russian Proletariat lived in falling-down apartment blocks and ate bread made from American wheat? BTW, Chumpsky, you own a computer and have Internet access–that makes you one of the Haves. \<\< begins sharpening pitchfork tines in a marked manner, sending many dark and brooding glances in Chumpsky’s direction \>\> ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/23 "2003-01-09T14:45:01Z")
If we have earned said boats, cars, mansions, wines, and hookers with our hard work, why should we give them up? You think Bill Gates doesn’t work his ass off? Huge corporations don’t spring up overnight, me foine bucko…someone or someones have to put in long hours and thousands of gallons of sweat to make them work. Why shouldn’t they (and we, when we get there) enjoy the fruits of our labor? ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/24 "2003-01-09T14:47:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > \*\*Um, I’m not good at Political Theory, but I thought that the Reactionaries were the Downtrodden Marxists, the Communists, the Proletariat and the Have-Nots, who are standing at the gates hollering for the Haves to come out and give up their expensive hookers so that the wealth may be redistributed. Yes? No? > \*\* Nope. Reactionaries would people seeking to turn the clock back laissez-faire capitalism and/or monarchy, where the wealthy can take advantage of the poor. Radicals are who you are describing, **Duck**. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/25 "2003-01-09T14:52:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chumpsky \* > \*\*You have nothing to lose but your boats, your wage-slaves, your expensive cars, your mansions, your fine wines, and your expensive hookers. You have a world to destroy. \*\* Where do I go to get a boat, expensive car, and mansion? I mean, after the revolutionaries have abandoned theirs.? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/26 "2003-01-09T14:56:37Z")
Thank you, Neurotik. Reactionaries = capitalists who want to remain capitalists but with fewer rules. Radicals = communists who want all the capitalists to become communists. And, which ones are the “revolutionaries”? Now Vanilla’s got me all confused again… Is this all written down somewhere? ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/27 "2003-01-09T14:59:10Z")
Notice he hasn’t replied? DNFTT people. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/28 "2003-01-09T15:18:03Z")
Would some of you wage slaves peel me a grape? My arms are tired from whipping peasants all day. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/29 "2003-01-09T15:24:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > \*\*Thank you, Neurotik. > > Reactionaries = capitalists who want to remain capitalists but with fewer rules. > Radicals = communists who want all the capitalists to become communists. > And, which ones are the “revolutionaries”? Now Vanilla’s got me all confused again… > > Is this all written down somewhere? \*\* Revolutionaries are radicals. 🙂 It’s all written down in most polisci intro books. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/30 "2003-01-09T15:25:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\*Well, hell, Sho. You _are_ cheap, aren’t you? > > \*\* Hell, no! Easy, yes, but cheap, no. Regards, Shodan Boy oh boy. Three lousy cars up on blocks outside my trailer, and all of a sudden I have a reputation as everybody’s bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Mort\_Furd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/31 "2003-01-09T15:33:27Z")
Damn. It looks like I’m going to have to become a reactionary. They’ve got all the perks. Mmmmmmm. Strippers and Expensive hookers. Mmmmmmm. To hell with socialism, I want as much and as good as I can manage to earn. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/32 "2003-01-09T15:59:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shodan \* > \*\*Hell, no! Easy, yes, but cheap, no. > > Regards, > Shodan > > Boy oh boy. Three lousy cars up on blocks outside my trailer, and all of a sudden I have a reputation as everybody’s bitch. \*\* Just mine. But I’ll share. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/33 "2003-01-09T16:15:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jackmannii \* > \*\*Would some of you wage slaves peel me a grape? > My arms are tired from whipping peasants all day. \*\* You mean you don’t have a whipping slave? Why my dear chap you must be exhausted. Let me lend you one of mine. Foie Gras, anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/34 "2003-01-09T16:17:17Z")
What the hell is foie gras anyway? I’ve always wondered. Is it like pate or something? ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/35 "2003-01-09T16:31:52Z")
Foie gras is the liver of fat goose. It can be served either as bloc or pate. You do get naturally fed foie gras, but often it’s produced from a force fed animal. This produces a truly great delicacy as not only does it taste wonderful, but it fucks off PETA. Decadence, cruelty to animals and outraged proles, all neatly served on melba toast. Now where did I put the bubbly? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/36 "2003-01-09T17:07:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\*Just mine. > > But I’ll share. \*\* Well, that makes me one of those expensive hookers, and you all have to give me up. So it’s back to the job stocking shelves at Wal-Mart. Again. So much for _my_ dignity. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/37 "2003-01-09T17:27:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jackmannii \* > \*\*I will have to console myself with some cheap wine and a Britney Spears video. \*\* “I’m A Wage Slave 4 U”? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/38 "2003-01-09T17:29:39Z")
How silly of us to value property, civil and economic freedoms, and such petit burgeois comforts as good wine and food (and hookers!). Oh, how I long for the Revolution, which will sweep away all the reactionaries into the dustbin of history. Comrade Chumpsky has shown me the (red) light of true communist devotion and promises a day when I can be happy with a bowl of gruel dispensed from the People’s Cafeteria, where I will dine in egalitarian austerity underneath the gigantic picture of Great Leader Chumpsky as martial music swells from the only channel available on the People’s Broadcasting system. Who needs market competition? The Great Leader will free us from making choices for ourselves, where we all fit as cogs in one great machine creating a socialist paradise and spare us from restaurants, good beer, fine wine, theater, books, and all other corrupting pursuits. ---
**Author:** ![Beagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/39 "2003-01-09T17:55:58Z")
Can we all wear uniforms? I love uniforms. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484/40 "2003-01-09T18:14:36Z")
What about those of us who can only afford cheap hookers but are still very anticommunist? Where do we fit in the grand scheme of things? Because I don’t think the communist state would supply us with free hookers, would they? And even if they did the hookers would be the ugliest hookers on earth as, with the bureacracy and all, you’d have to take the 66 year old grandmother whether you liked her or not. Frankly, I’d rather you 'leave me alone with my cheap hookers. We’re having a pretty good time as it is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reactionaries-of-the-world-unite/147484.md?page=3)