# READ Fuckers! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 6, 2008, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293 "2008-09-06T04:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/41 "2008-09-06T15:20:46Z")
My family name is long, German, and split easily into two halves. The first half sounds like a feminine first name, while the second half is a common surname. Like [Marienburg](http://www.1911encyclopedia.org/Marienburg), although that’s not our name. My mom occasionally must contend with callers, receptionists, etc., asking for “Marian,” “Mrs. Burg,” or “Marian Burg.” The fact that she has, and gives everyone, a perfectly common first name doesn’t always clue people that “Marienburg” is her last name, not her whole name. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/42 "2008-09-06T15:23:04Z")
Is there anyone in the world, at all, who pronounces “Gillian” with a hard G? Seriously? I feel your pain. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/43 "2008-09-06T15:31:35Z")
> [@Mr\_Buttons](#): > > I feel no sympathy either. From Kindergarten through 2nd year of college, I don’t think 1 teacher ever pronounced my last name correctly reading through role call the first time. > > Last Name: Eurich (totally German [pronounced “Your-Ick” > Pronunciations I’ve heard: > > Eeyore-itch (The Disney donkey + itch to make is sound even more horrible) > E!-u-rich (No I was not rich in any way) > Your-itch (rhymes w/ sandwich) > > What was even worse was when it came to other people spelling my name w/o a cheat sheet (Yurik)… I think my grandpa just rolled over in his grave again. I’m guessing people name Urich/Urick were probably once Eurichs as well. Some Ohio relatives of mine were named Eirich (EYErick), which also might have once been Eurich due to the ei/eu confusion in German. But with the ie/ei confusion in English, some of them became Earicks! ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/44 "2008-09-06T15:39:27Z")
> [@Q.N.Jones](#): > > I’m a Laura. I conduct telephone interviews as part of my job. When I leave a message, I always carefully enunciate my name. > > At least half the time, people calling back ask for Laurie, Lauren, Lana, Linda, Lisa, Lena, and once, Lawrence. > > This provides all kinds of laughs for the office staff who answer the phones when these idiots call me back. I was “Lawrence” for a solid week. Ha ha. My RL name is Jill. I understand it when people mis-hear or mis-remember what I said and call me Jewel, Jo, Julie, or something similar. What always has me scratching my head, is the one I have gotten over and over and over and over, my whole life, both in person and on the phone (so it can’t be said, “You must _look_ like a \_\_\_\_\_”), so many times I lost count a long, long time ago: Lisa Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/45 "2008-09-06T16:05:27Z")
My middle name is “Gregory.” When I tell people that, they usually use the middle initial “J.” “J,” for “Gregory.” Wonderful. ---
**Author:** ![Fish\_Nya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@Fish\_Nya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish_Nya)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/46 "2008-09-06T16:22:15Z")
My middle name is Janine. Not Janinie, as my debit card has printed on it. It is also not Vanine, as my work has it. Next thing I know I’ll be Vaninie somewhere. Also, I might have messed with some people because during middle school I liked to spell my name with a ‘ie’ instead of ending in a plain ‘y’. I thought it looked better. But, I switched back (I also stopped dotting my I’s with circles. I was an idiot, then). You, my brother, should know this. Seriously. It’s been years since I got back to the right spelling. Get it right. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/47 "2008-09-06T16:28:26Z")
> [@Fish\_Nya](#): > > My middle name is Janine. Not Jeanine, Janene, Jeannine, Jeanene, Janeane, Jannine, Jenene, Genene, Jenine, or Jeneen? 😃 The first time I saw [Janeane Garofalo](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000413/)’s name in print I assumed it was pronounced _Jane Ann_. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/48 "2008-09-06T16:28:54Z")
My wife has a 5 letter last name. Two syllables. Very simple. It gets twisted all the time. I wonder if they can read at all. You would be amazed at how many people screw up Tutro. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/49 "2008-09-06T16:33:47Z")
> [@Student\_Driver](#): > > I used to think my name was pretty simple and hard to screw up-- Robert. Lately, everyone thinks I’m Roger. I got that recently at work, at the end of a lengthy email address with my name clearly labelled in the to: and from: fields. I’m more annoyed by those that want to call me Bob, though. I don’t care if it’s an accepted diminutive of Robert, it might as well be an entirely different name. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/50 "2008-09-06T16:35:53Z")
My name is Aloysius. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/51 "2008-09-06T17:05:49Z")
My last name ends in l-y. Not l-e-y, l-y. And yet 90% of the time when I spell my for people, they _promptly_ write it down l-e-y. And the folks I subcontract for, and have for the past seven years, still spell it l-e-y about 80% of the time. I complain and complain and complain, but it goes in one ear and right out the other. As long as they spell it right on my checks, I guess… ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/52 "2008-09-06T17:22:05Z")
I introduce myself to people as Victoria and they reply, “Nice to meet you, Vicky.” Why do people assume I must want to be called something other than what I JUST TWO SECONDS AGO told you was my name? ---
**Author:** ![bellybean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@bellybean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bellybean)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/53 "2008-09-06T17:22:27Z")
My name is Isabel. I am used to people spelling it Isabelle, no problem. Even though I wonder about people who “correct” the spelling of my name when typing it into a database for a magazine subscription, or something like that. What I don’t get is people who call me Elizabeth. Repeatedly. I have had this conversation more than once: Other person: Hi, my name is Joe Average. Me: Hi, I’m Isabel. OP: Nice to meet you, Elizabeth! 😕 ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/54 "2008-09-06T18:44:44Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > My name is Aloysius. Now you’re being scylly. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/55 "2008-09-06T18:49:27Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > My family name is long, German, and split easily into two halves. The first half sounds like a feminine first name, while the second half is a common surname. Like [Marienburg](http://www.1911encyclopedia.org/Marienburg), although that’s not our name. My mom occasionally must contend with callers, receptionists, etc., asking for “Marian,” “Mrs. Burg,” or “Marian Burg.” The fact that she has, and gives everyone, a perfectly common first name doesn’t always clue people that “Marienburg” is her last name, not her whole name. My mother’s family name is short, German and unfortunately…Fuchs. As a friend of mine once said “Its even conjugated!” ---
**Author:** ![Reepicheep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@Reepicheep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reepicheep)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/56 "2008-09-06T18:57:07Z")
Most people get a pass. Gwynedd does not rhyme with either bed or wind. Pronounced Gwyneth - like Gwyneth Paltrow. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/57 "2008-09-06T19:00:27Z")
> [@vix](#): > > I introduce myself to people as Victoria and they reply, “Nice to meet you, Vicky.” Why do people assume I must want to be called something other than what I JUST TWO SECONDS AGO told you was my name? My husband gets this all the time, too! He will introduce himself to people as ‘Thomas’, and people promptly reply, “Nice to meet you, Tom.” Wha??? That’s a whole different name from what yo were just told! I think it’s utterly rude, but bless my sweet husband’s heart, he says it really doesn’t bother him. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/58 "2008-09-06T20:46:53Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Is there anyone in the world, at all, who pronounces “Gillian” with a hard G? Seriously? > > I feel your pain. ☹ Heya, kiddo. (Maybe they’re Monty Python fans and they think you were named after Terry Gilliam. Otherwise, I got nuthin.) ---
**Author:** ![Daerlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Daerlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daerlyn)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/59 "2008-09-06T21:21:33Z")
My first name is an extremely common one for women under the age of thirty: Jessica. Unfortunately, ‘Jennifer’ is _also_ an extremely common name for women under the age of thirty. It was a lot of fun in grade ten, when the class contained three Jessicas and two Jennifers, and the teacher was constantly mixing up who was what. If I had a quarter for everytime I’ve been called Jennifer, I’d be filthy rich. If I had a dollar for everytime someone’s gotten angry at me for not responding to Jennifer, I’d have five bucks. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/60 "2008-09-06T21:25:16Z")
Heh. I’ve been called (among others, but these are the ones I remember) Wendy, Ronnie, Judy and…Elizabeth? My name is 2 syllables ending in an “ee” sound, so where did “Elizabeth” come from? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293.md?page=4)