# READ Fuckers! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 6, 2008, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293 "2008-09-06T04:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/81 "2008-09-07T16:20:00Z")
I’m a Hanna. Not a Hannah, although when I see that in written materials, I’ve gotten to where I go on about my business - that is the usual spelling, after all. Just my bad luck my father (who was in charge of filling out the birth certificate) is a bad speller. I don’t even bother correcting the prosthetic “H” unless it’s for a formal and official document sort of deal (my marriage certificate, driver’s license, financial materials, bar membership, etc.). I get Ann and Anna all the freaking time - those I generally just don’t bother to correct unless I’m going to see the person calling me that fairly often. After all, not hearing the beginning H is fairly easy - particularly if you’re taking my name over the phone. It’s the people that insist on “Heather” or “Heidi” that irritate the hell out of me. Really? What the fuck? Congratulations on getting the first letter of my name correct, I suppose. I spent three years arguing with my undergrad college about it - they were \*totally convinced \*my first name was Heather. We’re not even going to discuss the sheer number of people who managed to misspell my maiden name - which was a four-letter word with a commonplace non-name usage and no alternate spellings (like door or wall or pond) that’s in the top 25 most-common last names. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/82 "2008-09-07T17:00:24Z")
> [@gravitycrash](#): > > I prefer to be called Pete even if it says on my birth certificate that I’m Peter. It doesn’t matter. My best friend calls me Peter as does the mother of my daughter. It does annoy me but what can you do? > > It can always be worse though. My mother and father and Aunt call me Petie, and I go by Pete, Peter, Petey. I have no preference for any of those names, but it’s interesting to see that certain groups will naturally gravitate towards one name or another. “Peter” is probably the most common, and used by either people addressing me in a formal context, and by females. “Pete” is my default friendly name, and is most often used by males. “Petey” is my cutesy friendly name, and is most often used by females and a couple of very close male high school friends. If I introduce myself as “Pete” (and it’d be interesting to see when I introduce myself as “Pete” and when as “Peter”), it often gets mistaken for “Keith.” ---
**Author:** ![hopesperson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e95f7d/32.png) [@hopesperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hopesperson)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/83 "2008-09-07T17:32:09Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Is there anyone in the world, at all, who pronounces “Gillian” with a hard G? Seriously? > > I feel your pain. ☹ An exception to the rule, to be sure, but folk/country singer Gillian Welch pronounces it with a hard G: > **[Gillian Welch](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gillian_Welch)** > > Gillian Howard Welch (/ˈɡɪliən/; born October 2, 1967) is an American singer-songwriter who performs with guitarist David Rawlings. Their spare, often dark sound, which The New Yorker calls "at once innovative and obliquely reminiscent of past rural forms", blends Appalachian, bluegrass, country and Americana. > Welch and Rawlings have collaborated on nine critically acclaimed albums, five under her name, three under Rawlings', and two jointly. Her debut Revival (1996) was nominated for Grammy A... ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/84 "2008-09-07T19:05:50Z")
> [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](#): > > Samantha has an N in it. I hate seeing Samatha. > > My name is not Stephanie. It is not Amanda. It is not Sally or Sabrina or Sarah. It is sure as hell not Judith, and I still don’t know where THAT came from. I got Vanessa the other day too. What the hell? Is my name a fnord of some kind? Is Samatha even an actual name? ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/85 "2008-09-07T19:20:03Z")
My parents cursed me with the name Cheryl. Not Cherly (the most common misspelling) Not Shirl (the most common mispronunciation) Not Shirley (from stupid people who can’t spell OR speak) Not Huh? (although I would prefer that to any of the above) My last name is of German extraction. No one can spell it. It doesn’t help that a feud from 200 years ago is preserved in two halves of the family: one spells it with an “e” on the end, one doesn’t. I’m from the side that doesn’t. My favorite misspelling comes from the Republican party materials that my dad gets. “Gunderdork.” 😕 ---
**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/86 "2008-09-08T21:51:06Z")
[QUOTE=Jragon] I had a friend named Rebecca, she went by Becca (Becky would get you killed), but don’t worry, we found someone that called her Baker over the phone once (come on she doesn’t even sound like an effeminate man, her voice is SQUARELY in the female range, even over the phone). :smack: [/QUOTE] I am a Rebecca, I do go by Becki (yes, with an “i”). After I say my name I have been called Becca, Beth, Reba, Peggy, Bertha (WTF? who actually has this name that isn’t 80 y.o.), and Robby (on a voice mail once). Seriously people! LISTEN!! Sometimes I think peoples ares are turned off or just tuned out while they are thinking of what their next “line” is going to be ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/87 "2008-09-08T21:57:11Z")
I got called Buster last night - that’s nothing like either my first or last name. Buster? Not even associated with my gender. _Buster?_ How can you correctly get my phone number off the answering machine and yet so horribly mangle the name? _Buster???_ WTF? ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/88 "2008-09-08T22:05:22Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Everything seems to go according to the rhythm at which I spell out my name. My last name has an unusual spelling; the letter everyone gets wrong is the sixth. I used to spell the first five, then the last five letters, but that made people leap to conclusions. Now I spell the first two, then the next four (with an emphasis on the unusual letter), then the last four. > > Also, I think my last name gets misspelled much less often now that I live in Quebec. Anglophones assume they knew how to spell my name, and are wrong; francophones are aware they have no clue how to spell it, and therefore ask me. The above perfectly illustrates what drives me nuts in these types of threads. Can’t you just put in the actual name you’re talking about? By the time I try to complete the mental gymnastics required to figure out all of these caustic references, I’ve lost interest. Not to pick on you, but this was just the best example. Why not just state the actual name? ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/89 "2008-09-08T22:16:07Z")
> [@torie](#): > > Someone even called me Story once. It was odd. Who’s named Story? At least the others were comprehendable. [This guy’s name is Story.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Story_Musgrave) ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/90 "2008-09-08T22:33:13Z")
> [@iampunha](#): > > With my first-name issues and my (now resolved) last-name issues, maybe I should just adopt an interesting number and use that. After all, it’s kind of hard to fuck up pi. You got, it, **e**! Omigosh! :eek: :o Sorry about that, _ **phi** _! - “Jack” --but really Jhon! --or something! * * * > **[Golden ratio](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_ratio)** > > In mathematics, two quantities are in the golden ratio if their ratio is the same as the ratio of their sum to the larger of the two quantities. Expressed algebraically, for quantities ⁠ > > > > a > > > {\\displaystyle a} > > ⁠ and ⁠ > > > > b > > > {\\displaystyle b} > > ⁠ with ⁠ > > > > a > \> > b > \> > 0 > > > {\\displaystyle a\>b\>0} > > ⁠, ⁠ > > > > a > > > {\\displaystyle a} > ... > **[e (mathematical constant)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E_(mathematical_constant))** > > The number e is a mathematical constant, approximately equal to 2.71828, that is the base of the natural logarithm and exponential function. It is sometimes called Euler's number, after the Swiss mathematician Leonhard Euler, though this can invite confusion with Euler numbers, or with Euler's constant, a different constant typically denoted > > > > γ > > > {\\displaystyle \\gamma } > > . Alternatively, e can be called Napier's constant after John Napier. The Swiss ma The... ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/91 "2008-09-08T22:51:21Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Is there anyone in the world, at all, who pronounces “Gillian” with a hard G? Seriously? _raises hand sheepishly_ I honestly thought that was the way it was pronounced (“g” as in “gill” rather than “g” as in “jill”) until I heard someone pronounce Gillian Anderson’s name. I still believe it SHOULD be a hard G, but I understand that names don’t follow normal pronunciation rules. My last name has one O and 2 P’s. But I am almost always called a similar name that has TWO O’s and ONE P. Even after I say to them “like grassHOPPER” or “Dennis Hopper”, I still get, “OK, Ms. Hooper.” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/92 "2008-09-08T23:28:57Z")
I once went to a camp with three girls all named Megan, except one pronounced it Mee-g’n, one went by May-g’n, and the third was Meh-g’n. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Jello](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@Jello](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jello)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2008, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/93 "2008-09-09T00:29:25Z")
I don’t have many stories of my own misfortunes to share, but I suppose this is the place to say that I was reading Great Debates for at least a year before I realized that **Brain Glutton** wasn’t Brian. ---
**Author:** ![Landshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/77aa72/32.png) [@Landshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Landshark)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2008, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/94 "2008-09-09T00:37:40Z")
My surname can be used as a man’s first name. The number of people who call me by surname, obviously thinking it’s my first name, drives me buggy. It happens even with people who have known me for years and should know better by now. I queried my father and brother about this a few years ago to ask if it happens to them also, and both said yes. Ah, the curse of two first names. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2008, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/95 "2008-09-09T00:57:57Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > My wife has a 5 letter last name. Two syllables. Very simple. It gets twisted all the time. First name: four letters, one syllable. People screw it up. Middle name: same as a nearby city. People screw it up. Last name: well, it could be a bit tricky, except that it is a very common spelling in the most common ethnic group in the area. People screw it up in two places. Three very common names, with very common spellings, and a total of six syllables. People have sent me professional letters misspelling all three. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2008, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/96 "2008-09-09T01:24:00Z")
> [@Mama\_Tiger](#): > > My last name ends in l-y. Not l-e-y, l-y. And yet 90% of the time when I spell my for people, they _promptly_ write it down l-e-y. > > And the folks I subcontract for, and have for the past seven years, still spell it l-e-y about 80% of the time. I complain and complain and complain, but it goes in one ear and right out the other. As long as they spell it right on my checks, I guess… Are we living in alternate universes? My last name ends in l-e-y. Everyone tries to spell it with an l-y. It was wrong on my brother’s high school diploma, and my father was on the goddamn school board at the time. It happens so often, when I used it in a new email address, I truncated it and left off the end 'cause I’d never get any email otherwise. To compound things, my first name has two common spellings, and several uncommon ones. My spelling is the most common one, but the least often guessed. Grr. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2008, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/97 "2008-09-09T02:01:15Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Is Samatha even an actual name? No, for the love of little green men, it is not. It’s horrible. It’s ugly. It sounds bad. It doesn’t sound like Samantha. I’ve had people misspell it after I spell it for them two or three times: “S-like-Sierra, A-like-Alpha, M-like-Mike, A-like-Alpha, N-like-NOVEMBER… T-like-Tango, H-like-Hotel, A-like-Alpha…” Once I got “S-a-m-a-m-like-mike-t-h-a?” Usually I get “S-a-m-a-t-h-a?” Once it was even followed up with a muttered “That doesn’t look right…” I also hate it when people who don’t know me call me Sam. I stopped correcting people when I was about twelve: apparently three syllables is too much for most people. I don’t LIKE Sam, but I live with it. ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2008, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/98 "2008-09-09T04:57:32Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > My parents cursed me with the name Cheryl. > > Not Cherly (the most common misspelling) > Not Shirl (the most common mispronunciation) > Not Shirley (from stupid people who can’t spell OR speak) > Not Huh? (although I would prefer that to any of the above) I am very sorry to report that at least one, backwoods, redneck, inbred family that happen to be quite prolific breeders, had an offspring they named Cheryl. Pronounced CH-url I am hoping the current Bigfoot mania sends them deeper in the forest and hopefully, out of the gene pool. ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2008, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/99 "2008-09-09T06:15:07Z")
Unfortunately I’m shot comin’ and goin’. My first name ends in -y, and half the people out there will turn it into Firstname-ends-in-i. Then there’s my lastname, which is about as unique as they come. Nobody in or out of hell ever spells it right on the first go. My \*passport \*came back with it misspelled. ---
**Author:** ![DogMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@DogMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DogMom)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2008, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293/100 "2008-09-09T13:25:53Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > That’s why God invented cut and paste. Y’know, you’d think that would work, wouldn’t you? And yet, when I started my new job a year ago, I didn’t have computer access for over a month, no phone, and none of the system access that a new hire should have. Why? Because the moron recruiter who gave the company all my information misspelled my last name. Even though I’d _already corrected him_ about it. **FOUR TIMES** , in various emails. Oh yes, and might I mention that _the email address on my resume, and hence the one I was using for all correspondence with him,_ contains my last name - spelled _correctly_. All he had to do was cut-and-paste my name, which I had spelled out for him AT HIS REQUEST “so I can send it correctly to the company”. THAT worked real well. :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/read-fuckers/462293.md?page=6)