# Reading article critical of Fox News over coffee triggers FBI investigation. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 17, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212 "2003-07-17T19:14:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/1 "2003-07-17T19:14:56Z")
Marc Schultz was reading a print-out of an article headlined [_Weapons of Mass Stupidity_](http://indyweek.com/durham/2003-06-04/cover2.html) in a coffee shop one Saturday morning. Three days later, [he’s got the FBI knocking on his door](http://indyweek.com/durham/2003-06-04/cover2.html). > [@](#): > > They ask if I carried anything into the shop […] “Any reading material? Papers?” I don’t think so. Then Trippi decides to level with me: “I’ll tell you what, Marc. Someone in the shop that day saw you reading something, and thought it looked suspicious enough to call us about. So that’s why we’re here, just checking it out. Like I said, there’s no problem. We’d just like to get to the bottom of this. Now if we can’t, then you may have a problem. And you don’t want that.” Now, judging from the article, Marc seems to be characterizing this as an example of abuse of state powers. > [@](#): > > My co-worker, Craig, says that we should probably be thankful the FBI takes these things seriously; I say it seems like a dark day when an American citizen regards reading as a threat, and downright pitch-black when the federal government agrees. This seems slightly hysterical, (although understandably so when you find the FBI inexplicably inserted into your life,) but it also seems plain that _hysteria_ is at the root of this situation. It’s fairly obvious what happened here. The content of the article has no bearing on the situation at all-- it’s not like the Solid Citizen who dropped the dime on young Marc was likely to have been able to determine at a distance that it was media criticism. If anything was legible, maybe it was just the the word “Weapons…” At any rate, that shouldn’t raise any alarms, since you can’t move an inch-and-a-half in any direction lately without tripping over a certain seven-syllable phrase these days. No, as you can see from the photograph at the top-right of the article, young Mr. Schultz’s suspicious behavior amounted to _possession of a dark complexion and a beard-and-mustache_. Not too hard to reconstruct the thought-process: “Oh my god! A _beard!__Muslims_ wear beards! What’s that guy up to? He’s _reading_ something- and not the _Weekly World News_, either-- it looks like it’s been printed out offuh the interweb! I’ve heard you can download plans for a nuclear bomb offuh the interweb! Golly, he’s finished his coffee. Better not let him get away. Hmmm… he’s getting into a newish car. I’ll bet his ‘handlers’’ supplied him with that. I’ll just jot the license plate number down and get it to the FBI before he blows himself up in the WalMart.” For Christ’s sake, people, _CALM THE FUCK DOWN_. And FBI folks, while it’s important to give the appearance of following up every lead, it doesn’t take _too_ much discretion to be able to discern when someone’s activities are _truly_ suspicious and when you’re just dealing with an excitable bigot. Or is the FBI obliged to allocate resources to follow up an investigation when they receive a tip that a large-nosed fellow was spotted listening to headphones on public transit? “I think he may have been receiving secret instructions from the Learned Elders of Zion!” “We’ll get right on it, sir.” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/2 "2003-07-17T19:16:21Z")
Whoops, I bungled the [link to the article](http://atlanta.creativeloafing.com/2003-07-17/rant.html). ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/3 "2003-07-17T19:23:32Z")
Oh, hell, he works in a _book shop_, fa chrissake. Anybody who ever saw a movie knows that subversives always use book shops as fronts. Sheesh. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/4 "2003-07-17T19:28:05Z")
So that’s Fox’s secret for increased popularity. Don’t watch Fox → go to jail! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/5 "2003-07-17T19:30:24Z")
I agree with your analysis, **Mudd** : Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. The FBI was conned by a moron and wound up on a wild goose chase after someone who looked vaguely like what a bigot would consider to be a terrorist. (Am I the only one who’s thinking of Frank Burns and Col. Flagg here?) The FBI does have to be more discerning in what leads it’s following up. We do _not_ have the resources for wild goose chases or satisfying bigotry, and we never have. While the FBI does need to be vigilant, it _cannot_ be paranoid. And finally, I’d love to be able to bitchslap … er, _confront_ … my accuser in this instance. On a related note, I think it should be a federal felony to falsely accuse someone of a federal felony, punishable by $50,000 or 15 years in a federal penitentiary. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/6 "2003-07-17T20:13:35Z")
Oh well, that was a pretty good country we had once. What do you guys think of the Bahamas? I bet an American ex-pat could live pretty sweet there, eh? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/7 "2003-07-17T20:21:12Z")
It’s always fun when I’m at a demo, or testifying against some cops, or writing a letter to the editor, or something, and I get a little frisson that says, “Your CSIS file just expanded by another centimetre.” ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/8 "2003-07-17T20:46:01Z")
That kid was one misunderstanding away from being detained as a material witness. What happened to him could happen to any one of us. Had I been in his shoes, when it became obvious that they were asking about me, I would have stopped the interview and said I wouldn’t answer any more questions without a lawyer present. There’s no way in hell the FBI guy would have gotten a look in my car without a warrant. Either one of those things would probably have gotten me detained. That’s scary to me. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/9 "2003-07-18T00:01:47Z")
I’d let the FBI look in my car. It’d serve’em right for being such idiots. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/10 "2003-07-18T06:13:41Z")
IANAFBIA, but I used to wear a dark suit and do unpleasant things I didn’t necessarily agree with to people. How about a bit of sympathy for the cogs in the machinery of stupidity? I can’t help but think that there was some eye rolling and muttering when the assignment was given out. I know, it’s not the point, but somehow I don’t imagine this is what the agent had in mind when he was working his butt off to get through Quantico. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/11 "2003-07-18T07:07:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 2trew \* > I used to wear a dark suit and do unpleasant things I didn’t necessarily agree with to people. So that was you?! When I quit and went to work somewhere else I hope you didn’t take it personally even though you tried to tell me the best way to open folders on my PC to be more productive, and forced me to remove my desktop background of Janeane Garofalo because it wasn’t “company approved”, and @#%# (taking deep breath) I’m all better now. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/12 "2003-07-18T07:20:26Z")
Wow, an Administrator responds to one of my posts, and I didn’t even have to use the word “Nazi”. Oh, and it didn’t contain the word “Banned”. My happiness knows no bounds! That said, bite your tongue. For all you know I was a Mafia enforcer Okay, it wasn’t anything that moral, I was a lawyer, but while I might garnish a single mother’s welfare cheque I would never stoop to the level of making someone remove a Garofalo desktop. I do have some limits. Is this the part where I start a pit thread and have a meltdown? ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/13 "2003-07-18T07:37:50Z")
My two cents is, I sort of pity the agents who had to track this down. Imagine if some terrorist act took place and it later came out that a suspect was reported and the agents _didn’t do anything._ The agents would become the easy scapegoats. Not that I’m condoning people getting way too jumpy. I don’t think that most terrorists with sensitive materials are going to sit down in a coffee shop and leaf through them. Then again, Zacarias Moussaoui told a flight school he wanted to learn how to fly a plan without learning how to land it. So nobody has cornered the market on stupidity here. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/14 "2003-07-18T07:39:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 2trew \* > \*\*Is this the part where I start a pit thread and have a meltdown? \*\* Psst, people. 2trew said “meltdown.” ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/15 "2003-07-18T12:59:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by december \* > \*\*So that’s Fox’s secret for increased popularity. Don’t watch Fox → go to jail! 😉 \*\* Tough choice. . . . 😃 ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/16 "2003-07-18T13:06:49Z")
Jesus! If the FBI came and asked me what I was reading in a coffeeshop, I’d tell them the Anarchist’s Cookbook and what the F@#$ are they gonna do about it? It’s not against the law… ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-article-critical-of-fox-news-over-coffee-triggers-fbi-investigation/189212/17 "2003-07-18T13:08:45Z")
:o …actually, I would cooperate and they would be quite certain that it was indeed a wild goose chase after all.