# Reading on the Throne - What's the Big Effing Deal? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 22, 2005, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116 "2005-08-22T15:20:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/41 "2005-08-22T20:00:38Z")
I get most of my reading done in the bathroom. Usually when I do the housework, I leave any books stacked neatly on the vanity (our bathroom is too small to have anywhere else to put them). Once a week, though, I take the books out and place them back on the living room bookshelf. However, I am never annoyed when later that evening a new selection, magazine, or previous book is returned to the place from which I removed it. I mean come on, half of the time it’s me who put it there. 😃 My family has always been that way. When my parents subscribed to Reader’s Digest, it was immediately unwrapped, and then placed in the bathroom. It was not to leave the bathroom! My mother used to say it was so that everyone could get a chance to read it. Often at suppertime, my father would ask if anyone else had read a certain article or joke. Neither of my parents enjoy “toilet humour” (we weren’t even allowed to say the word “fart” in the house!) and they passed that much on to me… but it never crossed anyone’s mind until now that we were discussing a magazine that we had all read while having a BM. They just wanted to make sure we were reading. I guess it just never occurred to me that it could be gross, or low, or uncultured. I suppose there could be a concern about hemorrhoids if you’re there too long not doing anything? Maybe your wife is just saving your ass? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/42 "2005-08-22T20:03:00Z")
Why would you throw away reading material just because it’s been in the bathroom? Do you shit on your books? It seems like a waste. I’ve managed never to shit on a book but I have to admit I have dropped one or two paperbacks in the bowl. That sucks. ---
**Author:** ![VenusProbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e495f1/32.png) [@VenusProbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VenusProbe)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/43 "2005-08-22T20:08:50Z")
At our house “I’ll be in the library” is code for taking a dump. ---
**Author:** ![butler1850](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@butler1850](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butler1850)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/44 "2005-08-22T20:31:52Z")
> [@Crotalus](#): > > A minor hijack, but several times I’ve been in the men’s room at work and heard people talking on cell phones while sitting on the shitter. Now that’s wrong. This is where some VERY loud straining, requests for “courtesy flushes” and extra “courtesy flushes” on your own work wonders. ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/45 "2005-08-22T20:43:17Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > In my house, “reading” is code for taking a long, healthy dump. As in, “I’ll be ready to go in a half-hour or so - I have to go read first.” Sure, there are more comfortable, less smelly places to read, but there is some magic in the combination of a good book and a good poo. You put that so beautifully! I think it has convinced me that I must try it. I’d hate to miss the magic because I’m quick in the bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/46 "2005-08-22T20:44:38Z")
I read all that I possibly can…except in the bathroom! I don’t see anything wrong with it; the real reason I don’t do it myself is that I’ll never come out. Lots of times I’ll pick up a book and be almost literally unable to put it down. Once I nearly read myself into a heatstroke (although not in the bathroom) because I just didn’t have the common sense to lay down the freakin’ book for a minute! ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/47 "2005-08-22T21:16:12Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > Wow, that’s quite a skill. I don’t think I’m coordinated enough to pull that off. Fortunately, some bathroom activities don’t require much dexterity. Not hard at all. If it’s a paperback that hasn’t been too abused, I just hold it with my left and and brush with my right. If it’s a hardback or a paperback that can be laid flat I use a toothpaste tube to hold it open and read and brush away. The phone, however, can wait until I’m out. Ewwwww. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/48 "2005-08-22T21:20:45Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Why would you throw away reading material just because it’s been in the bathroom? Do you shit on your books? It seems like a waste. Sort of a nightmare scenerio: I’m in a public toilet, paperback tucked away in one pocket. It is not a tidy dump. I realise too late there’s no TP left. What do I do? What do I _do_?? ---
**Author:** ![sleeepy2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@sleeepy2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeepy2)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/49 "2005-08-22T21:29:13Z")
> [@tremorviolet](#): > > It squicks me out a little bit. When you take a magazine with you at work, you’re pretty much broadcasting your intention to take a dump. That’s really more info than I wanna know. Plus, yeah, maybe I’m a little neurotic about it, but I always worry about backsplash onto the reading material so I squicked out to see stuff I know has been in the men’s room put out as reading material in the breakroom. > > That said, I always have reading material in the bathroom at home. I’m with you. I’d no sooner pick up a newspaper from a stall floor than lick the doorknob. Home, reading’s mandatory. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/50 "2005-08-22T21:30:35Z")
> [@yellowval](#): > > You put that so beautifully! I think it has convinced me that I must try it. I’d hate to miss the magic because I’m quick in the bathroom. We got another one! I mean, yeah, give it a try. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/51 "2005-08-22T22:05:17Z")
Heck, I occasionally buy books just because they would be perfect for keeping in the bathroom. Something that can be randomly picked up and put down, starting any place in the book. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/52 "2005-08-22T22:14:14Z")
Hah! I’ll top you all! You see, while I was living with my parents, I would habitually buy **Cecil Adams** ’s books and read them in the bathroom. I hadn’t discovered this message board and I missed his columns. Unfortunately, when I moved out, the books stayed behind on the bathroom bookshelves. My current bathroom is too small to hold a bookshelf, I think, but I’ve been thinking there might be a way around that. **LoopyDude** , please assure your wife that my mother is one of the daintiest, most lady-like women I know, and even she reads in the bathroom. (Of course, with her, it may the _The Iliad_ in the original Latin.) As for me, I will read anything handy, from the newspaper, to whatever I happen to be reading at the moment, to the immortal works of the Enlightened One himself if I happen to be visiting the folks. I’ve also been known to read in the bathtub until the water gets cold. Speaking of which, I think it’s time for a bath! CJ ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/53 "2005-08-22T22:19:06Z")
Dicks germs! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/54 "2005-08-22T22:24:47Z")
> [@Siege](#): > > **LoopyDude** , please assure your wife… Oh, I will. I will. (heh heh heh!) ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/55 "2005-08-23T01:33:48Z")
Pooping and magazines were made for each other. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/56 "2005-08-23T02:22:29Z")
> [@Susie Derkins](#): > > I have to have something to read when I am on the john. Hell, if I have to poop in a public toilet, I will read my driver’s license or money if that’s all I’ve got. Totally me. 😉 Adam ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/57 "2005-08-23T03:43:12Z")
No thank you. I don’t because I’m not in there long enough and I’m busy anyway. There’s little I dislike more than rippled pages from water on a book or magazine, which \*will \* happen, no matter the precautions I take. It happens often enough when I occasionally stop in to grab a tissue and put my book down on the sink. What other people do is their business. Really, _please_ keep it your business. A book or magazine in the bathroom might as well be a big sign advertising the residents have been in there having a big ol’ poop. I may have some German ancestry, but that doesn’t mean I desire a mental image of my host seated on the toilet. It doesn’t matter how hard I try not to conjure the image, I’ve learned the best I can hope for is a lack of precise detail. Still, it’s not my home, so do as you please of course. In my house, read where ever you wish, please just be discreet. ---
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/58 "2005-08-23T04:23:42Z")
My grandparents used to have a cute little framed picture in the bathroom of a little boy (roughly drawn-but that looked eerily like me, complete with glasses) sitting on the bowl with a book on his lap, and the caption read, “The Library” Always been a “natural” part of my family… though now that I think about it, it is more the males that do it. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/59 "2005-08-23T04:53:45Z")
> [@Siege](#): > > (Of course, with her, it may the _The Iliad_ in the original Latin.) I’m so sorry, but I’m an avowed nitpicker. The Iliad was originally written in Greek. Count me in as a shampoo-bottle reader. I often wondered if I was crazy to have that compusion to read something - ANYTHING - but now I feel in good company. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116/60 "2005-08-23T06:17:01Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > Sort of a nightmare scenerio: I’m in a public toilet, paperback tucked away in one pocket. It is not a tidy dump. I realise too late there’s no TP left. What do I do? What do I _do_?? Tear out ten pages. Read 'em and wipe! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-on-the-throne-whats-the-big-effing-deal/318116.md?page=4)