# Reading the Lolcat Bible **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 23, 2009, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191 "2009-09-23T02:42:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/1 "2009-09-23T02:42:17Z")
Spun off from [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=532709) thread. I thought it might be interesting to record my reactions as I read it, since it’s such a …well…yeah. I think there was a thread like this before? For LotR? Anyway. First off (having got to Gen 7): I really like the Cieling Cat asides. They seem…I dunno, honest, somehow. Like, they make him seem more interesting. Also, some of the parts actually seem more intense in the lolcat bible (since I’m simultaneously reading the NET). Like, in 6:9…when you let your opponent when pokemans, even though you’re all powerful? That’s touching. But it is undeniably more silly. Annoyingly so, sometimes, as I found a few of the pop culture references grating, and the PENIS GOES WHERE in particular kept jarring me. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/2 "2009-09-23T02:51:53Z")
There is lots of repetitions. Lots of words and phrases repeated over and over again. The pages tend to repeat the same ideas over and over again. There is a lot of instances where the same idea is repeated in a slightly different manner. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/3 "2009-09-23T03:37:41Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > There is lots of repetitions. Lots of words and phrases repeated over and over again. The pages tend to repeat the same ideas over and over again. There is a lot of instances where the same idea is repeated in a slightly different manner. Could you run that by me one more time? ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/4 "2009-09-23T20:30:51Z")
**pedescribe** , welcome to the Bible. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/5 "2009-09-23T23:07:07Z")
I like this from the Song of Solomon: “Let him kiss me wit da kissus of hiz mouf i wuv hees mouf kissus– for ur luv be moar delitefool den cheezbugrz. Srsly, Ai Pwnz!” ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/6 "2009-09-23T23:10:04Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > **pedescribe** , welcome to the Bible. Don’t even get me started on that Koran! Allah! That is one repetitively dull book. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/7 "2009-09-24T06:13:46Z")
oh hai. Major Love for lolcat speak, specially the bible. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/8 "2009-09-24T12:01:02Z")
[http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main\_Page](http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page) ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/9 "2009-09-24T12:24:20Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > **pedescribe** , welcome to the Bible. _Welcome to the Bible ! We got fun 'n games We got everything you want Honey we know the names We’ll list them over 'n over again_ ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/10 "2009-09-24T17:28:14Z")
Thank you for this! **Ceiling Cat Prayer** From LOLCat Bible Translation Project Dis is found in teh Book of Matthew 6 an in teh Book of Luke 11, srsly. Dis beez teh \*Ceiling Cat Prayer. Teh Ceiling Cat of us, whu haz cheezeburger, yu be spechul Yu ordered cheezburgerz, Wut yu want, yu gets, srsly. In ceiling and on teh flor. Giv us dis day our dalee cheezburger. And furgiv us for makin yu a cookie, but eateding it. And we furgiv kittehs who be steelin our bukkits. An do not let us leed into teh showa, but deliver us from teh wawter. Ceiling Cat pwns all. He pwns teh ceiling and teh floor and walls too. Forevur and evuhr. Amen. \* Gotta love _ **Ceiling Cat pwns all. He pwns teh ceiling and teh floor and walls too** _ ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/11 "2009-09-24T21:04:17Z")
John teh Baptist Sez \*\*"I Iz Not teh Chozen Won!! No Wai!!11!!!1!!1!! \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/12 "2009-09-25T02:48:23Z")
Lolcat proverbs [QUOTE=Proverbs 20] 1 If u b drinkin the drinkies in teh big glass bottuls, u iz stoopid. 2 If u maked teh king angry, he will pwn u. 3 Clever kitteh does not wants shoutin and fightin. 4 If u asks for cheezburger at wrong times, u cans have no cheezburger. Oh noes! 5 Clever kitteh seez wai teh othur kitteh iz doin wut he is doin. 6 Lotsa kittehs r laik “I b faithful”. But I cans find no faithful kitteh. WAI?!?!?! … 14 A kitteh buyed sumfink nd wuz laik “Is no gud!”. Ltr, he iz laik “Yay!”. ROFLMAO. … 17 If u steel teh cheezburger it cans taste yummy, but teh cheezburger will be maded of rocks. 18 Wen ur decidin wut 2 do, ask ur frends. Wen u wants 2 pwn sumwun, ask ur frends too. 19 If a kitteh talks all teh times, he is silly. So don’t talk to him. 20 If a kitteh is rood to his mummy or daddy, Ceiling Cat will take his batturies out. … 27 Ceiling Cat seez inside evrywun. Even teh gooey bits. Srsly. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/13 "2009-09-25T04:14:56Z")
It just gets better and better. Thanks, Thudlow Boink. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/14 "2009-09-25T05:11:01Z")
Teh Book John 31 Teh jewz got mad and gotz stonez to pwn Jebus,32 But Jebuz wuz liek “K so frst I showz you happeh magikz from Ceiling Cat, an now is killz me?!? WTF?!” 33 Then teh jewz wuz liek “You iz full of FAIL! We iznt stoninz you for thoze! Wez stoninz you for saying you iz teh same as Ceiling Cat. Ceiling Cat iz full of win and way moar pwnsome than you!!” 34 Jebus sayz 2 them, "Okai you gaiz lstn. ‘I have said u b teh gods?’ iz in yor lawz, ruinin yor accusashuns.35 If he called them ‘gods’ to teh gaiz teh word of God came - and teh Scripture no can fail -36 TEHN SRSLY!!! YOR SAYIN EVN CEILING CATS BEBBEH THAT HE SENTED TO TEH URF NO CAN BE GOD, EVN THO THOZE GAIZ ARE?!?! LOL Why r u accuin’ me of blasphumeh cuz I sayz, ‘I b Ceiling Cat’s Son’?!37 If I duzn’t do teh things Ceiling Cat duz, tehn ya, dont beleev me not wunce!38 Buts if I does it, even tho u dont beleev me, dont frget all teh awsum things ah did! dat wai, u no for srs dat teh Father is in me, and dat I am in teh Father!"39 Again they tried to pwn him, but he escaped and was like, “OK, bai!” ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reading-the-lolcat-bible/511191/15 "2009-09-25T16:42:48Z")
The videos of cat prayer are really funny too.