# Real Bad Remakes of Movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 9, 2020, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666 "2020-08-09T20:23:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Brayne\_Ded](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Brayne\_Ded](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brayne_Ded)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2020, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/21 "2020-08-10T08:26:50Z")
I though Depp’s Wiily Wonka captured the dark side of the story far better and matched Dahl’s original vision, the Gene Wilder version is just a bit too jolly. But delightful. ---
**Author:** ![Brayne\_Ded](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Brayne\_Ded](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brayne_Ded)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2020, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/22 "2020-08-10T08:28:07Z")
[steepone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steepone)[Guest](https://boards.straightdope.com/g/Registered) [1h](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/18) The 2002 remake of Rollerball, probably the worst remake I’ve ever seen. Thanks for the warning. The original was not exactly stellar, so I’ll pass on the remake. ---
**Author:** ![Brayne\_Ded](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Brayne\_Ded](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brayne_Ded)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2020, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/23 "2020-08-10T08:33:33Z")
The recent remake of _The taking of Pelham 123_… Less suspense than the original, some logic holes in the plot, and none of the wit. There have been remakes of _Cleopatra, Spartacus_ and (I think also) _Ben Hur_, which looked as if they were made straight for TV. Val Kilmer’s remake of _The day of the jackal_. Moving the venue from France to the USA destroyed the whole rationale of the film ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2020, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/24 "2020-08-10T09:10:13Z")
> [@Brayne\_Ded](#): > > I though Depp’s Wiily Wonka captured the dark side of the story far better and matched Dahl’s original vision, the Gene Wilder version is just a bit too jolly. But delightful. I disagree - Wilder’s Wonka wasn’t jolly at all; he was a grinning sociopath (and the boat scene, while much less effective umpteen years on, is still fairly horrific) right up to the point Charlie “wins”. The Depp film fixed the problems with the Wilder film (most notably that stupid fizzy pop scene) and ruined everything else. There’s much by Burton, Depp and Elfman I like but this was just awful (although the “flags” scene does make me laugh). IME an unlimited CGI budget rarely improves a film. ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2020, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/25 "2020-08-10T09:12:29Z")
Trucks (1998) is more of a re-adaption of the original Stephen King short story than a remake of Maximum Overdrive (1986) though both are based on the same work and the critical failure of Maximum Overdrive is the only reason why they even tried to make Trucks so I feel it counts. So how do you try to improve the good-bad Maximum Overdrive? By making it a made-for-TV movie so there’s absolutely no budget for special effects, replace the awesome truck action sequences of the original with people standing around in a diner talking for extended periods of time to pad the run-time, and then for the DVD release add in a bunch of scenes that were obviously added after-the-fact because they literally only have one or two completely unrelated actors in them and add nothing to the overall film, just so you have more characters to kill off (but in gorey ways because obviously you can’t show those on a made-for-TV film). If you thought Maximum Overdrive was absurd, a mailman gets killed by a two pound RC car, a guy in a cherry picker dies but not in the obvious way (for whatever reason he decides to kind of fall off on his own) and a literal decontamination suit with nobody in it somehow takes form and kills a person wielding an axe. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/26 "2020-08-11T01:07:27Z")
I loved the _Mad_ satire’s comment on the Bobby Van character, “just what the starving masses in Asia need: a third-rate nightclub comic”. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/27 "2020-08-11T01:16:58Z")
There have been recent remakes of The Karate Kid, Footloose, Fright Night and Overboard. None managed to match what worked in the originals. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/28 "2020-08-11T01:30:47Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > I’ve heard the remake of “Swept Away” (Travolti da un insolito destino nell’azzurro mare d’agosto) starring Madonna was pretty awful. I haven’t seen it, though. I have and wish I hadn’t. It’s truly abominable. ---
**Author:** ![SwissMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@SwissMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwissMan)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/29 "2020-08-11T01:32:24Z")
Just to pile on to Tim Burton some more, his _Planet of the Apes_ was truly terrible. Too much time spent on perfecting ape makeup, not enough on any sort of interesting plot (and don’t even get me started on that damn ending…) ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/30 "2020-08-11T02:17:19Z")
Fun fact: my sister is one of the human slaves in that movie. She worked quite a few weeks on it. But you can only really kinda sorta see her in one scene in a cage. But yeah, it’s a fairly crap movie. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/31 "2020-08-11T02:46:00Z")
The remake of _The Wicker Man_ was an Abomination Unto Nuggan. ---
**Author:** ![Didi44](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47c2d/32.png) [@Didi44](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Didi44)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/32 "2020-08-11T03:55:20Z")
++++1 To _The Karate Kid_ remake. Ummm…no karate, only kung fu! I watched a few minutes of Jaden Smith’s “acting” and I had to turn if off! _The Lake House_ Never seen it, never will, but having and loved the original, _Il Mare_, no reason to, especially from the reviews. Utter ugh! ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/33 "2020-08-11T12:35:08Z")
Conan the Barbarian Ok, the original was cheesy, but they told the origin story of the character in about 30 minutes with just a few snippets of dialog. Interesting visuals and action throughout the movie, and James Earl Jones as the villain. The new one, I made it about 15 minutes in and turned it off in disgust. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/34 "2020-08-11T13:09:48Z")
It was a real shame, too, because Jason Momoa could have actually played a good Conan - one who was closer to the character from Robert E. Howard’s books than Schwarzenegger’s. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/35 "2020-08-11T14:02:42Z")
Clash of the Titans No need for fancy modern CGI. Ray Harryhausen’s stop-motion work on the original film was fantastic. It didn’t look real of course, but neither did the CGI. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/36 "2020-08-11T14:18:50Z")
Every King Kong since the original have been failed exercises. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/37 "2020-08-11T14:50:29Z")
A lot of the ones I would name have already been cited, and I agree with most of them (although I’m probably in the minority of those who actually love the Peter Jackson remake of King Kong. For once, I’m in the demographic the director was aiming directly at.) Here are a few others: **The Truth about Charlie** – why remake **Charade** in the first place? The original film had a great cast, a superb script by Peter Stone, and a great director in Stanley Donen. The remake has a mostly forgettable cast (except stars Mark Whlberg and Tim Robbins), no wit, a moddled plot, and , as far as I can tell, no point. **Zontar the Thing from Venus** and **Creature of Destruction** and **Attack of the (the) Eye Creatures** – It’s not that **It Conquered the World** and **The She Creature** and **Invasion of the Saucermen** were great movies to begin with – they were b-picture or lower made by schlock company American International on shoestring budgets to appeal to the drive-in crowd. But even these bad flicks deserved better than being re-made on even lower budgets for direct-to-TV release by Larry Buchanan. The only thing they had going for them was that Zontar had a cooler name and the presence of B-move star John Agar. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/38 "2020-08-11T15:41:39Z")
At the risk of drawing the ire of Harold Pinter fans, I hated the 2007 remake of **Sleuth**. Everyone involved said it wasn’t a remake – but it’s the same plot, the same characters with the same names. even one of the same actors. It’s a remake. But it’s a remake by a writer who neither knew the original nor knew what motivated it, so all the love of mysteries, the wit, the type of interplay between the characters is all gone. Andrew Wyke’s game-filled house is replaced by a stark barren landscape. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/39 "2020-08-11T15:45:21Z")
I haven’t seen the remake, but based on the reactions of critics and audiences, (which lead me to not see the remake), I think I’d hate the new version of **Flight of the Phoenix**. The original had a op-notch cast, great writing, and direction. Here, according to Wikipedia, is the reaction to the remake: > [@](#): > > The main criticism for the film was its similarity to the original; John Anderson from _[Newsday](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newsday)_ said, “if you’ve seen the original, there’s absolutely no difference in what happens. And very little reason to check it out.” Aerofiles, a non-commercial website focusing on North American [aviation history](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aviation_history), called the film “perhaps the worst remake ever of a classic film.”[[12]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flight_of_the_Phoenix_(2004_film)#cite_note-dud-12) [Stephen Holden](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Holden) of _[The New York Times](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_New_York_Times)_ said the film is a “rickety update of the far superior 1965 movie” that “throws in every cheap trick in the manual to pump up your heartbeat [and] is so manipulative that the involuntary jolts of adrenaline it produces make you feel like a fool.”[[13]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flight_of_the_Phoenix_(2004_film)#cite_note-13) [Roger Ebert](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roger_Ebert) of the _[Chicago Sun-Times](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago_Sun-Times)_ gave the film two stars, writing “I’m not recommending it for those who know the original, but it might work nicely enough for those who have not (seen it).”[ ---
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666/40 "2020-08-11T18:06:19Z")
> [@Brayne\_Ded](#): > > Val Kilmer’s remake of _The day of the jackal_. Moving the venue from France to the USA destroyed the whole rationale of the film I think you mean the Bruce Willis/Richard Gere remake, “The Jackal”. (or is there a Val Kilmer one, too ?) I thought this was a case, like many “stolen” names/franchises, that they should have just made it “its” own story - no reference to “jackal”, so that no one would make comparisons to “The Day of the Jackal”. They might see parallels, but I thought the Bruce Willis version stood on its own - a reasonable chase/action flick. I particularly liked the inclusion of the russian woman helping in the chase, during the cold war. (And any movie where Jack Black gets shot to pieces…well it can’t be all bad ! 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-bad-remakes-of-movies/917666.md?page=3)