# real estate novelist? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 24, 2006, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031 "2006-08-24T13:06:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jeffr062](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f04885/32.png) [@Jeffr062](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeffr062)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/1 "2006-08-24T13:06:44Z")
What is a “real estate novelist”? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/2 "2006-08-24T13:09:44Z")
Were you listening to Billy Joel’s “The Piano Man”? A Real Estate novelist writes the property descriptions that go into Real Estate Ads. They have mastered the fine art of getting that maximum amount of information into the smaller number of characters possible. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/3 "2006-08-24T13:10:22Z")
> [@Jeffr062](#): > > What is a “real estate novelist”? Read the last entry [here](http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=171228). Apparently, Paul was a real estate broker who claimed to be writing a book. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/4 "2006-08-24T13:11:43Z")
In the context of the song, I imagine it’s a real estate agent who dreams of being a novelist but never actually makes the leap. And so he contents himself with writing florid home descriptions. ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/5 "2006-08-24T13:11:58Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > Were you listening to Billy Joel’s “The Piano Man”? > > A Real Estate novelist writes the property descriptions that go into Real Estate Ads. They have mastered the fine art of getting that maximum amount of information into the smaller number of characters possible. > > Jim While that may be true, it apparently is not what Joel meant when he wrote the term. Here’s a link to an [interview](http://www.blender.com/guide/articles.aspx?id=151) where he explains what he meant. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/6 "2006-08-24T13:48:14Z")
I work in real estate and have met a guy who sold real estate for 25 years while writing the Great American Novel. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/7 "2006-08-24T14:01:37Z")
“The wind blew coldly, whispering of a hard rain as I hammered the ‘For Sale’ sign down next to the walkway leading to the comfortable two-bedroom bungalow (with detached garage on a shady tree-lined lot near area schools) that was now filled with the stench of old lies, dark secrets and broken dreams.” ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/8 "2006-08-24T15:13:10Z")
I always assumed (rightly, according to that interview) that it was like the cliched waitress who is really an actress. The National Endowment for the Arts doesn’t support the vast majority of the nation’s artists and they have to find another way to get by so the hospitality, real estate, and insurance industries do more than their part to support the arts. The best example is Wallace Stevens, one of my favorite poets, whose obituary, it is said, spoke only of his long career as a vice president of Hartford Insurance and didn’t mention that he also wrote a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/9 "2006-08-24T17:39:02Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > “The wind blew coldly, whispering of a hard rain as I hammered the ‘For Sale’ sign down next to the walkway leading to the comfortable two-bedroom bungalow (with detached garage on a shady tree-lined lot near area schools) that was now filled with the stench of old lies, dark secrets and broken dreams.” Yes, but a true realtor could tell you its literary value. [link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=383358&highlight=asimov) ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/11 "2018-08-27T11:44:38Z")
Spam reported ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/12 "2018-08-27T13:10:44Z")
Never mind Paul–what about the guy who was fucking a mixed drink? ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/13 "2018-08-27T17:11:10Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Never mind Paul–what about the guy who was fucking a mixed drink? Say what? I missed that lyric… ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/14 "2018-08-27T17:19:02Z")
> [@adhemar](#): > > Say what? I missed that lyric… “There’s an old man sitting next to me Makin’ love to his tonic and gin” He’s so old that he’s a zombie at this point. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/15 "2018-08-27T17:21:25Z")
> [@adhemar](#): > > Say what? I missed that lyric… \*It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday The regular crowd shuffles in There’s an old man sitting next to me Makin’ love to his tonic and gin He says, “Son, can you play me a memory I’m not really sure how it goes But it’s sad and it’s sweet and I knew it complete When I wore a younger man’s clothes”\* Not Billy Joel’s best work as a lyricist, but it’s far better than “We Didn’t Start The Fire” and the abjectly awful “Uptown Girl”. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/16 "2018-08-27T17:38:48Z")
If you decide to emulate that old man, take my advice - get the lime **without** a toothpick. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/17 "2018-08-27T18:18:24Z")
When I first heard it I visualized the guy thinking about writing the Great American Novel while showing houses. Or maybe even sitting at his desk typing things like “Dear Sirs: It was a dark and stormy night.” But now I think he’s the guy who writes things like this: “Charming cozy home, just steps from light rail!” Translated: 900 sq ft, light rail goes through your back yard, but if you want to actually ride it you’ll have to hike, bike, or drive approximately a mile. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/18 "2018-08-27T19:21:49Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > “There’s an old man sitting next to me > Makin’ love to his tonic and gin” > > He’s so old that he’s a zombie at this point. 😉 For the record, it wasn’t me that bumped it, it was a spammer that has been disappeared. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/19 "2018-08-27T21:52:08Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > The National Endowment for the Arts doesn’t support the vast majority of the nation’s artists and they have to find another way to get by so the hospitality, real estate, and insurance industries do more than their part to support the arts. IIRC, Tom Clancy was a CPA who wrote _ **The Hunt for Red October** _ in his spare time. ---
**Author:** ![FinsToTheLeft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finstotheleft/32/2930_2.png) [@FinsToTheLeft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinsToTheLeft)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2018, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/20 "2018-08-28T01:07:09Z")
I just want to add that I saw Billy Joel at Madison Square Garden on Thursday night and at 69 years old, he still has it! ---
**Author:** ![GinoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f4b2a3/32.png) [@GinoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GinoC)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031/21 "2018-08-29T02:43:26Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Never mind Paul–what about the guy who was fucking a mixed drink? LOL, is that what one might call balling a highball? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-estate-novelist/370031.md?page=2)