# Real headlines related to trump and his enablers that sound like made-up 'The Onion'-style joke headlines **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Tags:** trump\ **Created:** [October 16, 2023, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652 "2023-10-16T15:31:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/1 "2023-10-16T15:31:05Z")
In the ‘[Schadenfreude](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfectly-reasonable-amount-of-schadenfreude-about-things-happening-to-trump-his-enablers-part-2/984250/2514)’ thread I said this: > [@A Perfectly Reasonable Amount of Schadenfreude about Things Happening to Trump & His Enablers (Part 2)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfectly-reasonable-amount-of-schadenfreude-about-things-happening-to-trump-his-enablers-part-2/984250/2514): > > I’ve toyed with the idea of creating a thread for posting real headlines related to trump or his trumpleshillspins that totally sound like ‘Onion’ headlines. I posted one here a couple days ago: > > [Lauren Boebert seen crouching and smoking in Walmart parking lot after finalizing divorce](https://www.rawstory.com/boebert-divorce-smoking/) > > Another one I recall from back in the dark days of the trump administration: > > [Trump applauds North Korea’s ‘great beaches,’ says they would be a perfect location for condos and hotels](https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-says-north-korea-beaches-great-place-for-hotels-condos-2018-6) To which @Rebo replied: > [@A Perfectly Reasonable Amount of Schadenfreude about Things Happening to Trump & His Enablers (Part 2)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfectly-reasonable-amount-of-schadenfreude-about-things-happening-to-trump-his-enablers-part-2/984250/2516): > > Do this, please. I would enjoy it! So, by overwhelming popular demand of one poster, here it is! The rules are simple: post one or more headlines of real, non-satirical articles from real news sources about trump or his trumpleshillskins that could easily be mistaken as satirical headlines in the style of ‘[The Onion](https://www.theonion.com/)’. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/2 "2023-10-16T15:41:20Z")
Okay, how about this one? [Watch out Ivanka! Donald Trump says “Republicans eat their young”](https://boingboing.net/2023/10/16/watch-out-ivanka-donald-trump-says-republicans-eat-their-young.html) ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/3 "2023-10-16T15:46:40Z")
A twofer in one headline: [**Donald Trump Touts Hannibal Lecter Endorsement, Brags He Has a Better Body Than Joe Biden During Iowa Speeches**](https://www.thebiglead.com/posts/donald-trump-hannibal-lecter-endorsement-better-body-than-joe-biden-iowa-speeches-video-01hc69ytta2m) ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/4 "2023-10-16T15:54:06Z")
Two strong ones right out of the gate, nice! The “Watch out Ivanka!” headline is perhaps a bit unfairly assisted by having a jokey spin put on it, but still is very good. @Gyrate’s ‘Hannibal Lector’ headline is perfect-- purely factual, yet still reads like an ‘Onion’ headline. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/5 "2023-10-16T15:54:21Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > A twofer in one headline: > > [**Donald Trump Touts Hannibal Lecter Endorsement, Brags He Has a Better Body Than Joe Biden During Iowa Speeches**](https://www.thebiglead.com/posts/donald-trump-hannibal-lecter-endorsement-better-body-than-joe-biden-iowa-speeches-video-01hc69ytta2m) I really thought you misunderstood the rules of the game, but nope, that’s real. Good Christ. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/6 "2023-10-16T15:57:42Z")
Okay, I know I’m going to regret it if it comes to pass, but can we insist on a swimsuit portion for the next Presidential Debate? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/7 "2023-10-16T16:09:29Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I really thought you misunderstood the rules of the game, but nope, that’s real. Good Christ. Scary, innit? How about: **[Trump Manages to Make Israel Attack All About Him](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/10/trump-manages-to-make-israel-attack-all-about-him.html)** or **[Donald Trump Says Windmills Are ‘Driving Whales Crazy’](https://people.com/donald-trump-says-windmills-are-driving-whales-crazy-7975072)** or in the same vein: **[Trump: ‘I never understood wind’](https://www.washingtonpost.com/video/politics/trump-i-never-understood-wind/2019/12/23/64cf14d4-01f1-494f-b519-af232e64f12c_video.html)** I don’t think this thread is likely to run out of material any time soon. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/8 "2023-10-16T16:11:22Z")
[reddit.com/r/nottheonion](http://reddit.com/r/nottheonion) ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/9 "2023-10-16T16:17:31Z")
Yep. I mean, how can the Onion compete with “[Marjorie Taylor Greene is asked not to show porn at Biden impeachment hearing](https://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/comments/16vt5ss/marjorie_taylor_greene_is_asked_not_to_show_porn/)”? That also gives us the Trump-related headline “[Taylor Swift is ‘only person’ who could defeat Trump in 2024, ex-aide Alyssa Farah Griffin declares](https://nypost.com/2023/10/05/taylor-swift-could-defeat-trump-alyssa-farah-griffin-says/)” ---
**Author:** ![veryfrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/87869e/32.png) [@veryfrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/veryfrank)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/10 "2023-10-16T16:21:38Z")
[Social media users question Spicer calling concentration camps ‘Holocaust centers’](https://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/in-the-know/328312-social-media-users-react-to-spicer-calling-concentration-camps/) will always be one of my biggest memories of the early days, partly because a press room camera caught a reported doing a sitcom-level (but real) double take when Spicer said it. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/11 "2023-10-16T16:23:31Z")
Thanks, was not aware of that ‘nottheonion’ subreddit. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/12 "2023-10-16T16:25:55Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > **Donald Trump Says Windmills Are ‘Driving Whales Crazy’** **[Trump claims wind turbine ‘noise causes cancer’](https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/437096-trump-claims-noise-from-windmills-causes-cancer/)** ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/13 "2023-10-16T16:28:14Z")
**[Donald Trump Challenges Joe Biden to Test of Strength](https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-challenges-joe-biden-test-strength-1825595)** **[Psychological Science Says Trump Is a Four-Year-Old](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201705/psychological-science-says-trump-is-four-year-old)** ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/14 "2023-10-16T16:47:45Z")
[**Trump ‘does not have the right to say and do exactly what he pleases,’ Judge Chutkan says, issuing gag order**](https://www.cnn.com/2023/10/16/politics/trump-gag-order-chutkan-hearing/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Dissonance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Dissonance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dissonance)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/15 "2023-10-16T17:06:58Z")
And to think Bush got portrayed as out of touch with the supermarket scanner incident. TFG is just so batshit that this only gets one line, buried behind Hannibal Lecter and what a great body he has. > Trump also took the opportunity to double-down on his claim that people need to [show ID to go grocery shopping](https://www.thebiglead.com/posts/donald-trump-need-id-to-buy-bread-video-01haj2etakx8). It’s the mark of the beast people! ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/16 "2023-10-16T17:20:03Z")
Donald Trump’s team ‘having meetings in the dark as they can’t find right light switch in White House’ ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/17 "2023-10-16T17:35:23Z")
Wow, that one is absolutely perfect, both as an unintentionally funny real headline and as a metaphor for his entire Presidency. It works on so many levels! But, I should have also asked in my OP to please post the headlines as links to the actual articles. Since I just had to look this one up to see if was really for real, I fixed it for you: [Donald Trump’s team ‘having meetings in the dark as they can’t find right light switch in White House’](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/donald-trump-bannon-conway-meetings-light-switch-darkness-a7565136.html) ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/18 "2023-10-16T17:36:24Z")
Deleted. Not an actual head line. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/19 "2023-10-16T17:37:16Z")
This one would be better if they’d left off the last few words, but: **[Trump tells court he had no duty to ‘support’ the US Constitution in bizarre legal defence](https://ca.finance.yahoo.com/news/trump-tells-court-had-no-220216709.html)** ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/20 "2023-10-16T17:39:37Z")
Ok, here’s one. [Trump calls Putin 'genius' and 'savvy' for Ukraine invasion - POLITICO](https://www.politico.com/news/2022/02/23/trump-putin-ukraine-invasion-00010923) This is like shooting fish in a barrel. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652.md?page=2)