# Real headlines related to trump and his enablers that sound like made-up 'The Onion'-style joke headlines **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Tags:** trump\ **Created:** [October 16, 2023, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652 "2023-10-16T15:31:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2024, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/121 "2024-01-14T17:07:55Z")
- Eternally clogged commodes … - “Brass” plated plastic fixtures … - Blood-rare hamberders - No ketchup … - Always-on televisions perpetually tuned to MSNBC … I could continue, but this is verging on a hijack as it is. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2024, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/122 "2024-01-15T00:19:38Z")
> [@scudsucker](#): > > You have no idea how many superheroes there are in the Texas Forestry Service, hidden as regular employees until we need to move the moon! I wonder how many forestry workers it would take to [blow up the moon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTJ3LIA5LmA)? (Mr. Show comedy skit where the US blows up the moon) ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2024, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/123 "2024-01-15T14:54:38Z")
> [@OttoDaFe](#): > > Eternally clogged commodes …that, when he’s sitting on them composing tweets, collapses under his weight just before he hits “send”. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2024, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/124 "2024-01-15T17:49:24Z")
For both kinds of “send” :evil grin: ---
**Author:** ![Dandan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@Dandan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dandan)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2024, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/125 "2024-01-15T21:46:49Z")
> [@Horatius](#): > > …that, when he’s sitting on them composing tweets, collapses under his weight just before he hits “send”. I read that as "COMPOSTING xitter. But then I see every omnibus thread leader as “OMINOUS”. Dan ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2024, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/126 "2024-01-15T22:00:35Z")
You can’t make this stuff up. [Trump loses Three Lawyers in one day. Quite a hat trick.](https://www.rawstory.com/tacopina-trump/) ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2024, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/127 "2024-01-24T01:06:54Z")
Thanks to @Gyrate and his [post](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day-part-3/986588/3172) in the stupid Republicans thread [Discussing The Wizard of Oz, Candace Owens accuses the Munchkins of performing a “satanic ritual”](https://www.mediamatters.org/candace-owens/discussing-wizard-oz-candace-owens-accuses-munchkins-performing-satanic-ritual) ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2024, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/128 "2024-02-18T00:40:55Z")
[https://www.meidastouch.com/news/trump-ruthlessly-booed-at-philly-sneakercon-while-hawking-399-trump-sneakers](https://www.meidastouch.com/news/trump-ruthlessly-booed-at-philly-sneakercon-while-hawking-399-trump-sneakers) ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2024, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/129 "2024-02-18T23:32:11Z")
He’s hawking Trump shoes and cologne. I guess the only thing left to try to sell is pillows. Sorry, Mikey. I shudder to think what that cologne smells like. From the article, a former Repub congressman claims “Sir!” smells like “armpits, ketchup, a butt, and makeup”. The cologne has to be industrial grade to cover up that alluring aroma. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2024, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/130 "2024-02-19T07:42:06Z")
> [@wguy123](#): > > “Sir!” smells like “armpits, ketchup, a butt, and makeup” I really do wonder why _urine_ wasn’t in there. After all, Tan the Conman evidently has a bit of a fetish for said liquid. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2024, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/131 "2024-02-19T09:13:10Z")
“This is piss. Piss with ink.” - Sweeney Todd ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2025, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/132 "2025-07-07T06:43:18Z")
Bumping this thread for this find by @Tatterdelaion > [@Spineless, gutless Republicans](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spineless-gutless-republicans/1015402/50): > > [MAGA Republican Falsely Claims They’re Not Trump’s “Little Bitches” | The New Republic](https://newrepublic.com/post/197561/maga-republican-rep-van-orden-not-trump-little-bitches) ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2025, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/133 "2025-07-07T20:07:47Z")
Yep. When I saw that link just now, I originally thought " ‘New Republic?’ Is that some satire site that intentionally looks like the URL of another, legitimate site?" ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2025, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/134 "2025-07-07T20:13:36Z")
It was reported at other news sites as well. I chose that one because the New Republic is reasonably reputable, and I liked the headline. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/135 "2025-07-08T10:10:40Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > I really do wonder why _urine_ wasn’t in there. After all, Tan the Conman evidently has a bit of a fetish for said liquid. Slightly off topic, but this is the one story about him that I don’t believe. He’s just too neurotic and high on himself to be into that sort of stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/136 "2025-07-08T10:34:03Z")
Trump has nomination sent on his behalf by Netanyahu for "The Nobel Peace Prize’? > **[Netanyahu nominates Trump for Nobel peace prize at White House meeting](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/jul/08/trump-nominated-nobel-peace-prize-netanyahu)** > > US leader upbeat on Gaza ceasefire prospects but does not share any additional details on preparations “Say, isn’t that guy wanted by the ICC for war crimes relating to genocide?” “Shhh. You’ll spoil the photo-op.” ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/137 "2025-07-08T12:18:18Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > > [@Monty](#): > > > > I really do wonder why _urine_ wasn’t in there. After all, Tan the Conman evidently has a bit of a fetish for said liquid. > > Slightly off topic, but this is the one story about him that I don’t believe. He’s just too neurotic and high on himself to be into that sort of stuff. The story I heard (not that this is necessarily true either, but more plausible than the story that he likes getting peed on) is that when he rented the room at a Moscow hotel Obama stayed at, he hired a couple Russian prostitutes to pee on the bed Obama had slept in. What he really gets off on is hurting and insulting his enemies, even just symbolically. ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/138 "2025-07-08T14:53:25Z")
According to the Steele report, it was a party given by a Moscow bank whose directors had connections to Russian intelligence. They hired girls to put on a show for the guests, including Trump. But there’s no evidence that Trump participated. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/139 "2025-07-08T18:18:17Z")
Kind of makes you wonder if the whole bombing Iran thing was set up by the two of them just so Trump could get nominated for that Nobel Peace Prize that he so desperately covets. I also sometimes wonder why Trump doesn’t just have a fake NPP made up with his name on it. Seems like just the kind of thing he’d do. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652/140 "2025-07-08T18:33:53Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > Kind of makes you wonder if the whole bombing Iran thing was set up by the two of them just so Trump could get nominated for that Nobel Peace Prize that he so desperately covets. It wouldn’t have been _just_ for that (you know Israel has wanted to bomb Iran for a very long time) but I would not be shocked if that was brought up as part of the plan before engaging in military action. > [@Shoeless](#): > > I also sometimes wonder why Trump doesn’t just have a fake NPP made up with his name on it. Seems like just the kind of thing he’d do. A couple dollars will get you one from Ali Express (the same place that supposedly the Trump Mobile phones were purchased from then rebranded). [https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256805378279352.html?gatewayAdapt=glo2usa4itemAdapt](https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256805378279352.html?gatewayAdapt=glo2usa4itemAdapt) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-headlines-related-to-trump-and-his-enablers-that-sound-like-made-up-the-onion-style-joke-headlines/991652.md?page=8)