# Real Identity Of Cecil Adams **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147 "2010-02-16T02:25:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/41 "2010-02-19T01:30:57Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > 1990!?!? > > they let children on this internet thingy now?. > Get off my lawn!. > (And Cecil Adams’ real identity is something mankind is not meant to know) Hzah. I’ve been using the internet since I actually was a child (I started in 1996, unmonitored… I don’t count monitored time as personal use). They’ve been letting children on the internet for quite a while, in fact. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/42 "2010-02-19T12:44:32Z")
> [@Todderbob](#): > > Hzah. I’ve been using the internet since I actually was a child (I started in 1996, unmonitored… I don’t count monitored time as personal use). > > They’ve been letting children on the internet for quite a while, in fact. 😃 Being only 12 years older than the 1990’s born poster I only started using the 'net at age 18, BBS at 17. (couldnt get my little hands on a modem until then, the modem i used to read BBSs had a staggerin 3900 kbps speed) And Cecil Adams is… Dont read this if you want to keep your sanity: George W Bush If you read it, roll 4 d6 and substract the result from your sanity score. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/43 "2010-02-19T15:20:24Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > I think there have been more than one Cecil Adams over the years. Seconded. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/44 "2010-02-19T15:23:48Z")
You are Number Six! ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/45 "2010-02-19T18:42:37Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > And Cecil Adams is… > > Dont read this if you want to keep your sanity: > If you read it, roll 4 d6 and substract the result from your sanity score. (rolls dice) Oops, critical failure. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/46 "2010-02-19T19:05:21Z")
Cecil Adams. . .well, I suppose at this point, he’s more of a myth than a man. Some guy I saw out in Reno once told me he’d seen a fucker walk into a bar. Running one of those trivia things, you know? Man clears out the backlog of questions in twenty minutes flat, then holds off a bar brawl using nothing more than a penciled list of cites about explosive decompression jotted down on a cocktail napkin. He walked out of there like he was twenty feet tall. That was Cecil. And, once, in the days before the internet, a young girl entered a library on a quest to discern the meaning of a strange new word: merkin. She walked up to the librarian, who whispered the truth of it to her. She immediately ran home, horrified. That was Cecil, too. And not too long ago, a man on the street insisted that he was capable of turning off street lights merely by passing them, and insisted on making this claim to anyone who would listen. After rigorous research, a gentlemen rogue and scholar determined that the extinguishing of lights was no more than chance. He found this self-proclaimed extraordinary man, smacked him upside the head, and called him a putz. That was. . .yeah. You know. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/47 "2010-02-20T00:56:35Z")
I would say he’s that jolly fat man with the funky red suit . . . but I can’t fool you, everybody knows there is no Sanity Claus. Especially around here. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Bbu4t9hfcZQ/hqdefault.jpg "Hooray For Santa Claus!!") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bbu4t9hfcZQ) ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/48 "2010-02-20T03:04:52Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > Cecil Adams is Emperor of all He Surveys; Yield to his infinite wisdom and bow down before him lest he smite you hip and thigh. Does that mean we should change his picture from a turkey to a turtle? Anyone want to bet on who burps first? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/49 "2011-02-22T18:54:02Z")
It’s easy. Cecil Adams is E.T! Built the pyramids, you know… ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/50 "2011-02-22T19:17:29Z")
It’s simple. “Cecil Adams” is an anagram of “Eds Acclaim” meaning Cecil is simply Ed’s acclaim to fame. Or you could simply map the lines connecting every 17th L in the 5th edition of “Moby Dick” and add the angles to then divide by the . . . never mind, I can’t reveal the formula because then you will also figure out who wrote the Book of Love and the location of Carmen San Diego. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/51 "2011-02-22T19:28:19Z")
It’s Zotti and has been for quite some time. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/52 "2011-02-24T13:05:25Z")
The original Cecil Adams has been living like a king in Patagonia. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/53 "2011-02-24T15:58:04Z")
God, you people are so dense. A little simple sleuthing reveals the truth: Cecil Adams is difficult to identify because he’s never seen and nobody knows how to find him. You know who else you can’t find? Chuck Norris! As we all know, if you go to the Google home page and type in “find Chuck Norris”, the answer is cryptic. So it’s obvious that Cecil is Chuck Norris. Or, you know, someone else. ---
**Author:** ![Heyoka13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Heyoka13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heyoka13)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/54 "2011-02-24T16:07:38Z")
I don’t know that Chuck and Cecil are the same. Chuck can divide by zero, and Cecil can go on for an hour and a half why it isn’t possible . . . . 😉 ---
**Author:** ![NineToTheSky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5a626/32.png) [@NineToTheSky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NineToTheSky)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/55 "2011-02-24T17:24:27Z")
> [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](#): > > Cecil Adams. . .well, I suppose at this point, he’s more of a myth than a man. Some guy I saw out in Reno once told me he’d seen a fucker walk into a bar. Running one of those trivia things, you know? Man clears out the backlog of questions in twenty minutes flat, then holds off a bar brawl using nothing more than a penciled list of cites about explosive decompression jotted down on a cocktail napkin. He walked out of there like he was twenty feet tall. > > That was Cecil. > > And, once, in the days before the internet, a young girl entered a library on a quest to discern the meaning of a strange new word: merkin. She walked up to the librarian, who whispered the truth of it to her. She immediately ran home, horrified. > > That was Cecil, too. > > And not too long ago, a man on the street insisted that he was capable of turning off street lights merely by passing them, and insisted on making this claim to anyone who would listen. After rigorous research, a gentlemen rogue and scholar determined that the extinguishing of lights was no more than chance. He found this self-proclaimed extraordinary man, smacked him upside the head, and called him a putz. > > That was. . .yeah. You know. You’ve got that completely wrong. That’s the Stig. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/56 "2011-02-24T19:47:39Z")
None of the above. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/57 "2011-02-24T20:11:39Z")
I prefer not to know. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/58 "2011-02-24T20:36:02Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > The question of Adams’ relationship to Zotti reminded me of _The Bald Soprano_, Eugene Ionesco’s first play. Someone wrote a play about Uncle Junior? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/59 "2011-02-24T20:47:20Z")
Cecil is DB Cooper. It is obvious and the dates match fairly well. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147/60 "2011-02-24T21:04:41Z")
> [@Heyoka13](#): > > I don’t know that Chuck and Cecil are the same. > > Chuck can divide by zero, and Cecil can go on for an hour and a half why it isn’t possible . . . .😉 Show me where in my post that I even hinted at Cecil not being a multiple personality. Yeah, I thought not. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-identity-of-cecil-adams/529147.md?page=4)