# Real-life uses for Simpsons quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 5, 2004, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656 "2004-10-05T15:55:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Mr\_Natural](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7993a0/32.png) [@Mr\_Natural](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Natural)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/101 "2004-10-08T01:35:48Z")
Mr Burns on his investments in International Spats & Trans-Atlantic Zeppelin. Either Carl or Lenny saying, and I’m paraphrasing, “Whose banana do you have to peel to get a drink around here?” ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/102 "2004-10-08T02:43:31Z")
You know the more I think about it, the more I come up with. I remember being hungry and I started to sing, “Dancin’ away my hunger pains, moving my feet so my belly don’t hurt” ---
**Author:** ![Atticus\_Finch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ec9cab/32.png) [@Atticus\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atticus_Finch)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/103 "2004-10-08T04:52:35Z")
Personally, I like “I wash myself with a raaaag on a stick”. I also refer to “yams stuffed with gunpowder” as a handy vegetable to serve with dinner. Any references to famous scientists will be met with “Batman was a scientist!” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/104 "2004-10-08T06:03:23Z")
> [@paulberserker](#): > > When I worked behind a bar, it was a constant trick between me, my brother and one of the barstaff to out do each other with random obscure Simpsons quotes. > > What a time to be alive When we were younger, my brother and I used to stay awake at night and try to come up with quotes the other one wouldn’t recognize. Obviously it worked as a learning tool. When our youngest brother was born, I tried to say “D’oh!” instead of cursing when I could. (Really I guess it was more like “when I could be bothered to” than “when I remembered.”) Anyway, with two older brothers saying “d’oh” a lot, the youngest one was soon doing it too. Which drove my parents crazy. He’s 12 now, so he still does it sometimes, whereas I’ve gone back to my good friends “crap,” “hell,” “shit,” “damn” and “fuck.” “What a country!” - Dr. Nick. ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/105 "2004-10-08T11:16:59Z")
Glaven! ---
**Author:** ![Daftbugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Daftbugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daftbugger)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/106 "2004-10-08T11:58:55Z")
64 slices of American cheese, 63 slices… I think I’m blinnnnnd 199 springs to flush down, 199 springs, you flush one down, it swirls around, 199 springs to flush down. You will now be singing that all day! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/107 "2004-10-08T12:19:58Z")
He did it because he’s stupid! That’s the only reason _anybody_ does _anything_. My favorite is Marge’s uncle’s line: Shoot them all and let God sort them out. Said whenever I have a bunch of tasks to do, and decide to just dive in. ---
**Author:** ![Labtrash](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/labtrash/32/528_2.png) [@Labtrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labtrash)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/108 "2004-10-08T14:38:03Z")
I try to work in **“It tastes like burning”** a lot - pisses the wife off when she cooks. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/109 "2004-10-08T18:10:22Z")
I’ve used a handful of the above, including “embiggen” with some frequency. (“Cromulent” is the one I really want to introduce into the language, but it doesn’t come up as often.) Also, whenever my wife accuses me of doing something she finds annoying (a frequent occurance), I typically response with “And I’d do it again” while holding my fingers as if they were grasping a teacup, from the sugar episode. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![fusoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@fusoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fusoya)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/110 "2004-10-08T18:36:48Z")
the two lines that I use constantly: “it’s funny cuz i don’t know him” and “remember, we’re in the Itchy lot” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/111 "2004-10-08T18:37:05Z")
“CrapBoobsCrap!” I work on a helpdesk and a particuarly exasperated user told me “You guys just don’t understand what we go through here.” I should have thought twice before I told her “Just because we don’t caaaaaare, doesn’t mean we don’t understand.” But I didn’t. And I still have a job today! ---
**Author:** ![PucksRaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecd19e/32.png) [@PucksRaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PucksRaven)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/112 "2004-10-08T23:54:51Z")
I can’t believe there’s so few Apu quotes! My roommates and I use them frequently. During weekend chores when someone sits down before we’re done. “Oh no you don’t. No dying 'til they’re out of college.” “Look, I’ll die when I want to.” To end arguments: “I can’t believe you don’t shut up.” And when exciting news is met with no enthusiasm. “Must you knock everything we do?” On the way out to the bar. “We’re going to party like it’s on sale for $19.99.” ---
**Author:** ![CaveMike](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cavemike/32/16379_2.png) [@CaveMike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaveMike)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/113 "2004-10-09T00:35:27Z")
> [@Jackknifed Juggernaut](#): > > One time I answered the door wearing only my boxers because I was expecting my girlfriend at that time to be at the door. Instead it was the UPS guy. I said, matter-of-factly: “I’ve misplaced my pants.” > > Also, when my wife asks me a question to which she won’t like the answer, I say: “Baby, I’m not going to lie to you. Well, gotta go.” You have a wife _and_ a girlfriend? No wonder you answer the door sans-pants. Here’s mine: When verbal-sparing with friends I know I can always fall back on: “You win this round…” or “I must hurry back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them.” And whenever my wife denies me anything: “But doing \ is my life-long dream!” ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/114 "2004-10-09T01:06:06Z")
> [@CaveMike](#): > > You have a wife _and_ a girlfriend? No wonder you answer the door sans-pants. Well, since the girlfriend one was ‘one time…’ it could be a previous affair… or even Mrs. JJ before she was a Mrs, or even a fiancee. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![coachswife1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71c47a/32.png) [@coachswife1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coachswife1)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/115 "2010-09-01T23:33:17Z")
My husband and I quote or misquote the simpsons on a daily basis. Woohoo, D’oh, I"m on my way… One of our favorites is “I like you too, Pepsi.” And, it just so happens we have a daughter named Magaggie…I mean Maggie. She had a Maggie Simpson pacifier when she was a baby. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/116 "2010-09-02T01:03:26Z")
Bart: You killed zombie Flanders! Homer: He was a zombie? ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/117 "2010-09-02T01:54:26Z")
I haven’t watched new episodes in their first run in several seasons (I’m catching up on DVD) so most of mine are older. I think you’d be surprised how easy it is to work “That’s my retirement grease!!” into a conversation. I also get a lot of mileage from “Buh? Guh.”, “I’m old! I only like Matlock.” and “Well excuuuuse me for having enormous flaws I don’t work on!” When a conversation or joke is getting away from me and the penny finally drops I can’t seem to stop myself from saying, “Oh, SideSHOW Bob!” “Don’t worry, Todd. There’s no sugar in pixie sticks.” also comes in handy. Oh and “That’s a load bearing poster.” ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/118 "2010-09-02T20:16:25Z")
The online photo album for my cross-stitch projects is called “Less Artsy/More Fartsy.” ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/119 "2010-09-02T20:26:16Z")
Please, they prefer to be called “the living impaired.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/120 "2010-09-02T20:46:45Z")
If I’m ever feeling a bit stressed about money, I’ll say “Oh, I have three kids and no money. What can’t I have no kids and three money?” I’ll occasionally mutter “Stupid flounders.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656.md?page=7)