# Real-life uses for Simpsons quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 5, 2004, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656 "2004-10-05T15:55:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![akrako1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@akrako1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akrako1)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/121 "2010-09-02T22:08:07Z")
“I don’t even believe in Jebus!” gets used a lot. weirdly, “possib-LIE” has replaced “possibly” in most of my casual conversation, though I’m not sure most people get it. As in “nothing could possib-LIE go wrong” says the conductor bringing them to Itchy & Scratchy World ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/122 "2010-09-02T22:46:43Z")
I made one a few weeks ago in another thread, I don’t think anyone got it. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12783888&postcount=78](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12783888&postcount=78) ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/123 "2010-09-02T23:00:03Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > when my wife asks me a question to which she won’t like the answer, I say: “Baby, I’m not going to lie to you. Well, gotta go.” I use this line also with my wife, as well as “Well, it takes TWO to lie: one to lie, and one to listen!” (And while she was pregnant, “It’s uter-US, not uter-YOU!”) While making a speech at a wedding reception 2 years ago I was very tempted to crib from Homer: “What is a wedding? Webster’s Dictionary defines it as: _the process of removing weeds from one’s garden…_” Sometimes when planning a fancy romantic dinner outing with my wife I’ll break out the Moe Syzslak gem: “Don’t eat nothin’ for three days, 'cause I am taking you out for a steak the size of a toilet seat!” And I can’t tell you the number of times I look over in silence at someone during an interminable meeting at work and think-send, “I know you can read my thoughts… _Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow…_” ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/124 "2010-09-02T23:05:32Z")
Oh, and how could I forget: every year while doing performance reviews (both giving and receiving), I inevitably barely refrain from using either side of the exchange: “What initiatives have you spearheaded in that time?” “Uh… All of them?” “I… See.” ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/125 "2010-09-03T16:09:16Z")
Whenever indecisive about food choices: “Eww, I’ll have the crab juice.” When I’d forgotten about the food on the stove and MrsG said “The food is burning…” Me: “It’s a motivated seller!” ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/126 "2010-09-03T16:15:54Z")
> [@GargoyleWB](#): > > When I’d forgotten about the food on the stove and MrsG said “The food is burning…” > Me: “It’s a motivated seller!” Me, I use the Principal Skinner line. Wife: “The food is on fire!” Me: “No, it’s just the Northern Lights.” ---
**Author:** ![akrako1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@akrako1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akrako1)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/127 "2010-09-03T16:33:04Z")
It was the kitchen that was on fire. And it was Superintendent Chalmers. Skinn-man ain’t got no wife. M’mmm Steamed Hams. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/128 "2010-09-03T16:40:17Z")
We’re leaving zombies open these days, but there’s no reason not to move it to the right forum. I’ll leave it to a Simpsons fan to tell me what quote I should have used. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/129 "2010-09-03T16:51:34Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I’ll leave it to a Simpsons fan to tell me what quote I should have used. _You people have held me back long enough! I’m going to Cafe Society!_ ---
**Author:** ![fjs1fs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9e8a1a/32.png) [@fjs1fs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fjs1fs)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/130 "2010-09-03T17:09:03Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > I can’t believe I’m the first to mention the Nelson laugh… Hah hah! Even better, when Bart fell and broke his leg, and Nelson said “Ha Ha!,” Millhouse followed up with “Nelson, I think he’s REALLY HURT!” Nelson’s hilarious followup: “I SAID HA HA!” I don’t know how to do italics on this screen, but the I SAID part needs to be stressed here (as it was by Nelson). ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/131 "2010-09-03T17:13:19Z")
> [@fjs1fs](#): > > > [@FriarTed](#): > > > > I can’t believe I’m the first to mention the Nelson laugh… Hah hah! > > Even better, when Bart fell and broke his leg, and Nelson said “Ha Ha!,” Millhouse followed up with “Nelson, I think he’s REALLY HURT!” Nelson’s hilarious followup: “I SAID HA HA!” I don’t know how to do italics on this screen, but the I SAID part needs to be stressed here (as it was by Nelson). - I SAID\* HA HA! It’s {i}, then {/i}, with replacing the {} ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/132 "2010-09-03T17:47:52Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > We’re leaving zombies open these days, but there’s no reason not to move it to the right forum. > > I’ll leave it to a Simpsons fan to tell me what quote I should have used. > > **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator Marge: Homer! Did you barricade the door? Homer: Why? Oh, the zombies! No. ---
**Author:** ![Smitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Smitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smitty)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/133 "2010-09-03T19:52:31Z")
The wife - “It’s easy to criticize.” Me - “Fun, too.” ---
**Author:** ![markdash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@markdash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markdash)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/134 "2010-09-03T20:42:32Z")
When enduring a boring story: “Yes, yes, it’s all a rich tapestry.” ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/135 "2010-09-04T15:27:00Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > A good one for when you are hitting on a woman is ‘So…do you like…stuff’. > > Also ‘my cats breath smells like cat food’ when I am confused has been said at least once. So, you’re telling us that you get confused while hitting on women? Has the “cat food” line ever worked? \*FREE ADVICE FOR EVERYONE THAT SPOUTS LINES FROM TV SHOWS: \* > [@](#): > > Boss thought it was funny the first time. Not so much so anymore..(tee hee) You may be amused, but People In The World Outside Your Head may be annoyed. And they may not tell you. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/136 "2010-09-04T16:55:40Z")
With my wife I’ve used: Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand. Also: How about this, I’ll _try_ to try. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/137 "2010-09-04T17:21:14Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Whenever anyone states the obvious, I paraphase Cecil Terwilliger: Why I had no idea. You see, I’ve been living the past ten years with my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears…in a cave…on Mars. That’s one of my favorite Simpsons moments ever. David Hyde-Pierce’s voice just dripped with subdued sarcasm. One I use a lot is for when someone describes an extremely minor conflict between themselves and their spouse: **“Good thing you don’t keep guns in the house…”** That one is from the marriage counseling episode after Ned Flanders complains about Maude underlining passages in HIS bible. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/138 "2010-09-04T20:31:44Z")
> [@digs](#): > > > [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > > > A good one for when you are hitting on a woman is ‘So…do you like…stuff’. > > > > Also ‘my cats breath smells like cat food’ when I am confused has been said at least once. > > So, you’re telling us that you get confused while hitting on women? Has the “cat food” line ever worked? > \*FREE ADVICE FOR EVERYONE THAT SPOUTS LINES FROM TV SHOWS: > \* > > > [@](#): > > > > Boss thought it was funny the first time. Not so much so anymore..(tee hee) > > You may be amused, but People In The World Outside Your Head may be annoyed. And they may not tell you. You realize I wrote that 6 years ago right? \*FREE ADVICE FOR EVERYONE THAT IS FUNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE \* Hooked on phonics worked for me. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/139 "2010-09-05T16:27:06Z")
I use “Never!” ALL of the time. Also: What does “Cromulent” mean? or not mean? or whatever… ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656/140 "2010-09-07T03:45:28Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > A good one for when you are hitting on a woman is ‘So…do you like…stuff’. > > Also ‘my cats breath smells like cat food’ when I am confused has been said at least once. > > > [@digs](#): > > > > So, you’re telling us that you get confused while hitting on women? Has the “cat food” line ever worked? > > … > > You realize I wrote that 6 years ago right?.. So, you’re telling us that you USED TO get confused while hitting on women? But that at some point in the last six years you figured the whole thing out… Or are you telling us that the “cat food” line HAS worked since that post? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-life-uses-for-simpsons-quotes/267656.md?page=8)