# Reality doesn't change because you don't want to hear it **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 26, 2010, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816 "2010-03-26T00:07:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2010, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/81 "2010-03-27T01:25:50Z")
If nothing else, I’ve gotten something out of the inventive minds of the self-righteous recreational outrage addicts in this thread. Somewhat typical of the Dope. Invent facets of the story that don’t exist to further your outrage, imagine that it happened in a way that furthers your idea, ignore details that don’t fit what you want to be angry about, etc. Yes, it bothers me somewhat, but it teaches me more about Human nature. And the nature of the mob mentality. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2010, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/82 "2010-03-27T01:36:32Z")
Perhaps they wouldn’t invent facets, if you’d answer the questions you were asked. By the way, you seem the very kind of ‘help’ no one likes to connect to, when experiencing difficulties. I’m not saying you are, just that your posts here, kind of make you seem like a jerk. No matter how you slice it and dice it, if the best you can do is tell a customer, calling for help with a error on your end, ‘can’t help you, but I’ll sell you something else’, you have no business in customer service, chip on your shoulder notwithstanding. ---
**Author:** ![Apex\_Rogers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@Apex\_Rogers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apex_Rogers)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2010, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/83 "2010-03-27T01:42:35Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > If nothing else, I’ve gotten something out of the inventive minds of the self-righteous recreational outrage addicts in this thread. Somewhat typical of the Dope. Invent facets of the story that don’t exist to further your outrage, imagine that it happened in a way that furthers your idea, ignore details that don’t fit what you want to be angry about, etc. > > Yes, it bothers me somewhat, but it teaches me more about Human nature. And the nature of the mob mentality. Let me try this again without the personal judgments. From your OP: > [@](#): > > It is not possible for me to cancel it, we need to sell her another plan. I inform her of this. > > BOOM. > > Walltowallscreamingandcarryingon about how I’m not listening to her Your company screws up and you don’t have any means at your disposal to fix it. “Not a problem!” you think, “I’ll just sell her a brand new plan! She already has the refund and can apply the money toward the new plan! Everyone wins!” Except the onus is on you guys to fix things internally, since you were the ones who screwed up. You (or someone else with the proper abilities) could set up a new account and transfer the details of the old account into it, preserving the original terms of the agreement. Instead you wish to breech the agreement and start a brand new one. The minute you used the word “sell” the customer had had enough. If you had even phrased it slightly differently, something like “Well, Ma’am, the cancel already went through, so I’ll have to check on how to restore it. Let me put you on hold.” Then you ask your supervisor or kick it up the chain. It doesn’t matter that your bosses have said not to kick calls up so often, obviously there are certain cases that warrant it and this surely sounds like one. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2010, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/84 "2010-03-27T03:22:17Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > If nothing else, I’ve gotten something out of the inventive minds of the self-righteous recreational outrage addicts in this thread. Somewhat typical of the Dope. Invent facets of the story that don’t exist to further your outrage, imagine that it happened in a way that furthers your idea, ignore details that don’t fit what you want to be angry about, etc. > > Yes, it bothers me somewhat, but it teaches me more about Human nature. And the nature of the mob mentality. Remember, you posted to the Dope. You knew ahead of time the approach many here take. Now you have the gall to blame others for your decision to share your experience. Your employer has a [fuckwit](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fuckwit) approach to customer service. Whether it’s the fuckwit attitude training they provide to their customer ‘service’ representatives, or whether it’s a job prerequisite appears to make no difference here. Ultimately, you do have the power to do what is right and just. You are correct in one thing; the title you gave to your own OP. You are correct. Reality really doesn’t change because you don’t want to hear it. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2010, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/85 "2010-03-27T03:35:32Z")
Yay for **Duckster**. An excellent post IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Zulema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/db5fbb/32.png) [@Zulema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulema)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/86 "2010-03-28T05:25:29Z")
I am also curious about the details of what the customer was offered. ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/87 "2010-03-28T07:40:45Z")
> [@Apex\_Rogers](#): > > Your company screws up and you don’t have any means at your disposal to fix it. “Not a problem!” you think, “I’ll just sell her a brand new plan! She already has the refund and can apply the money toward the new plan! Everyone wins!” Except the onus is on you guys to fix things internally, since you were the ones who screwed up. You (or someone else with the proper abilities) could set up a new account and transfer the details of the old account into it, preserving the original terms of the agreement. Instead you wish to breech the agreement and start a brand new one. The minute you used the word “sell” the customer had had enough. If you had even phrased it slightly differently, something like “Well, Ma’am, the cancel already went through, so I’ll have to check on how to restore it. Let me put you on hold.” Then you ask your supervisor or kick it up the chain. It doesn’t matter that your bosses have said not to kick calls up so often, obviously there are certain cases that warrant it and this surely sounds like one. But if it’s the same plan, costs the same, etc _what difference does it make_? If she’s just going to throw the money they refunded back at them to get the same plan, cancel the plan they meant to, give her that money back, it all comes out the way she intended to in the end. The way it sounds to me, instead of listening to the details, she flew off the handle and got abusive right off the bat. Because her delicate little ears heard the word “sell”. That’s a good lesson in why you never give customers too many details. Just make things the way they want it, with minimal of involvement from (or inconvenience to) them, and be done with it. That was my policy in my days of phone support. I would have stopped that call too. No one should be rewarded for that behavior. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/88 "2010-03-28T10:10:39Z")
Oops. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/89 "2010-03-28T11:59:56Z")
Years ago, back in another century, I worked front line, in-store customer service for an international Scandinavian furniture/homewares purveyor. (Guess who.) In that capacity, where I was a complete peon, we were given this sage bit of advice: when a customer comes in with a problem, never tell them what you _ **can’t** _ or _ **won’t** _ do for them, because they don’t give a flying rip about that. You tell them what you _ **can** _ and _ **will** _ do, and then _ **do it** _. When the company has f-ed up, the customers do not care about internal processes, about chains of command, about software issues or anything else. They care about their time, their money and their problem and they know that it needs to be made right and you are presenting yourself as someone who makes things right, so you’d better do that or connect them with the person who can. Every minute that they have to waste of their time to get you (as the representative of the company) to fix things for them only compounds the problem. When the solution to a problem isn’t what the customer has asked for but will still make them whole, you’ve got to use a little diplomacy. “Ma’am, here’s what we’re going to do. Your original warranty program was cancelled erroneously and I do apologize for that, it shouldn’t have happened. We’re going to create a brand new warranty for you with the same terms as the one that was cancelled. It’s going to cover you for the same period of time and provide all the same protections as the original warranty. And that new warranty will begin today. Now, because the original was mistakenly cancelled and your credit card has been refunded already, I need to re-enter your credit card information, because the system does not retain that. As soon as you provide that for me, you’re going to be right back where you were on Tuesday when we made this error. Okay?” > [@torie](#): > > But if it’s the same plan, costs the same, etc _what difference does it make_? Because no one likes to be told no. No one likes to be told “we screwed up and we’re not going to fix it” and that, when you boil it down, is what this woman was hearing. So if someone really wants to provide her with customer service, they step back and take another approach. Nuance matters. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/90 "2010-03-28T12:55:00Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > When the solution to a problem isn’t what the customer has asked for but will still make them whole, you’ve got to use a little diplomacy. “Ma’am, here’s what we’re going to do. Your original warranty program was cancelled erroneously and I do apologize for that, it shouldn’t have happened. We’re going to create a brand new warranty for you with the same terms as the one that was cancelled. It’s going to cover you for the same period of time and provide all the same protections as the original warranty. And that new warranty will begin today. Now, because the original was mistakenly cancelled and your credit card has been refunded already, I need to re-enter your credit card information, because the system does not retain that. As soon as you provide that for me, you’re going to be right back where you were on Tuesday when we made this error. Okay?” Wow, that’s some comically terrible advice. Don’t tell the costumer what he doesn’t want to hear, just do it anyway using a lame subterfuge that smells like fraud. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/91 "2010-03-28T14:09:22Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > Wow, that’s some comically terrible advice. Don’t tell the costumer what he doesn’t want to hear, just do it anyway using a lame subterfuge that smells like fraud. Is English your first language? Cause I sure as hell didnt see any subterfuge or fraud there. The customer gets pretty much what they had in the first place (with perhaps a short time period of “free” warranty, a minor freebee) at no additional cost to them. In fact, if the OP hadn’t got mad at the caller for getting mad at him, I suspect that procedure wise, thats probably pretty damn close to how the whole thing would be handled. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/92 "2010-03-28T14:22:06Z")
> [@torie](#): > > But if it’s the same plan, costs the same, etc _what difference does it make_? If she’s just going to throw the money they refunded back at them to get the same plan, cancel the plan they meant to, give her that money back, it all comes out the way she intended to in the end. The way it sounds to me, instead of listening to the details, she flew off the handle and got abusive right off the bat. Because her delicate little ears heard the word “sell”. This scenario is possible: that the OP was _just about_ to bend heaven and earth to restore the customer’s account to what it was (or better), and misunderstanding the generosity she was about to receive, the customer went into a sudden rage from which there was _no way_ to talk her back down. That’s certainly the interpretation most flattering to the OP. But his coyness thusfar about explaining exactly what the “new plan” would entail for the customer suggests it isn’t quite that simple. Perhaps when he’s done practicing sneering gestures in the bathroom mirror, he can return to fill us in. In the meantime, we have: [ul] [li]An admission that the company was in the wrong[/li][li]The OP is “Tier 2” support, meaning the customer already had to go through at least one level of unhelpful bureaucracy[/li][li]The OP is the last line of defense—sort of, that is unless he \*feels \*like escalating the issue, which depends solely on the customer being persistent (but in a suitably ass-kissing way)[/li][li]A lot of phrases like “can’t” and “not possible” in the OP, which I’m willing to bet are what the customer also heard, instead of things like “I’m sorry” and “let’s see what we can do to resolve this”[/li][/ul] These things, and the overall tone of his posts, make it much easier for me to imagine that the OP probably copped a bit of an attitude with an already angry customer and thus threw fuel on the fire. Customer service is about defusing those kind of situations, not digging your heels in and flexing your petty tyrant muscles just because you think you can. It may make you feel powerful, but it’s exactly the opposite of the right thing to do and it gets zero sympathy from me. And yes, I worked in support for several years and dealt with all manner of irate asshole—and in almost every case, there was a way to calm them down, by resolving the problem or at least by convincing them that I was committed to doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/93 "2010-03-28T14:45:24Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Is English your first language? No. > [@](#): > > Cause I sure as hell didnt see any subterfuge or fraud there. The customer gets pretty much what they had in the first place (with perhaps a short time period of “free” warranty, a minor freebee) at no additional cost to them. > > In fact, if the OP hadn’t got mad at the caller for getting mad at him, I suspect that procedure wise, thats probably pretty damn close to how the whole thing would be handled. I inferred the credit card would be charged. That needs to be clearly stated. If I misunderstood I apologize. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/94 "2010-03-28T15:01:45Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Typed up the title and thought “Wow, that may as well be about a couple of my past bosses or even one or two former friends!” > > No, this is about Suzy Selfimportant, a customer I had on the phone today. > > She had two plans, and had called some time back to cancel one of them. Unfortunately, the wrong was was cancelled and the amount refunded to her. The refund had already been processed and credited back to her credit card. > > She calls back today, demanding to speak to a Manager. > > Well, as Tier 2 support, I take “Supervisor” or “Manager” calls and am fully empowered to act as such and speak on behalf of my employer. I am the last line of support, there is no one above me if I don’t choose to allow the call to go past me. Or put it another way, I’m not SUPPOSED to allow calls to get past me. I get bitched out and lectured about how I’m empowered and expected to deal with these things myself. And frankly, the other departments that I would take this to are exactly the same kind of thing. There ain’t no Ubermanagement place I can take your call. You deal with me, or you fuss, fume, swear and hang up, then call back and get someone else in my exact same department and job position. So fucking deal with it already. > > She wanted me to cancel the cancellation, and put the plan back into effect, then cancel the appropriate one. Ok, so I look into it, and figured out that the cancellation process has already been completed (it had been over a week) and she’s been given the money back. It is not possible for me to cancel it, we need to sell her another plan. I inform her of this. > > BOOM. > > Walltowallscreamingandcarryingon about how I’m not listening to her, I’m not telling her what she wants to hear, I can’t do my job, she wants to speak to another manager because I’m not doing what she wants. > > I calmly and professionally explain the entire thing again, with her screaming non-stop at me the entire time. No chance she’s actually listening to me at all. Then she starts swearing at me and demanding someone else, because I’m clearly NOT telling her what she wants to hear. > > Ma’am, I’m telling you exactly what has happened here and what we need to do to resolve it. > > Same shit. Screaming over the top of me, not listening to a word I say. > > I terminated the call. > > You know, I realize the previous people made a mistake and cancelled the wrong plan. I realize that’s not necessarily her fault. But all I can do is tell her what has happened and what we can do to resolve it. I can’t wave my (non-existent) magic wand, roll back time and undo everything. > > On the other side of it, she, like some people on this board who have expressed much the same thing, doesn’t seem to realize that telephone support people are not her personal punching bag. We’re only paid to take so much shit, and we are certainly NOT required to take your personal abuse. I can’t tell you how many ‘supervisor’ calls I get because some screaming jackass calls in multiple times, swears at and verbally abuses our people to the point that our people hang up on them, then after being hung up on 3-5 times in an hour, they ask for a supervisor. They’re hanging up on you because you’re an ABUSIVE ASS. And we’ll keep right on hanging up on you until you fucking knock it off. _I_ will hang up on you if you do it again, and unlike our Tier 1 people who won’t bother to log the call, I most certainly will, and I will note that I terminated the call because of your abusive language. Which then means that future agents who get you on the phone will be forewarned that you’re a jerk, and are less likely to be sympathetic if you start to misbehave again. > > But back to the title. I can only tell you what happened and what we can do to resolve the issue. I can’t change time, space or shoot magic pixie dust out of my ass to change the Universe for you. Yelling about it won’t help. In fact, it just makes me that much less willing to bend what little time and space I can manage to change for you. Yeah, I guess people with shit jobs (such as yourself) need to scrounge for what little scraps for whatever (perceived?) power they can, yes? ---
**Author:** ![jonesj2205](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecc23a/32.png) [@jonesj2205](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jonesj2205)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/95 "2010-03-28T15:05:52Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > I inferred the credit card would be charged. That needs to be clearly stated. If I misunderstood I apologize. I believe the suggestion was to charge the credit card for the same amount that was erroneously credited and was covered by the let me get your charge information. But yes, in real life it would be better to say the exact amount, as in “You’re going to see a charge of $12.42, which is the same amount that we credited you last month so this won’t cost you anything.” ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/96 "2010-03-28T15:14:28Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Your customer may have been a complete bitch, and you may not have been the one responsible for the problem, but try to keep perspective: your company fucked up, and you were the ambassador telling her there was “no way” to fix it. > > I’d have been right pissed off too, and though **I wouldn’t have screamed** , I would’ve wanted to talk to a supervisor also if I felt you were stonewalling. Customers are sick of hearing there’s “no way” to fix a problem that should be fixable. Frequently, with enough persistence you discover that the “unfixable” problem actually \*is \*fixable if you just get the right person with the right skills and the right attitude. Sometimes that takes getting past several layers of indifferent/incompetent bureaucrats. which sometimes means being a squeaky wheel. > > You don’t deserve verbal abuse for doing your job, but save some of your contempt for your employer who put in the position of public punching bag \*sans \*the ability to adequately resolve problems that your own company caused. I’ve a sneaking suspicion that the customer in question didn’t either. Did she speak in a frustrated, perhaps even measurably angry tone? More than likely. But did she literally “scream” at **Chimera**? I tend to think not, as I find that the word is one of the most overly misused words in current society (e.g., when someone says that I was “screaming” at them, more than likely I was just talking to them in a fairly cross manner). ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/97 "2010-03-28T15:14:53Z")
I like the continued assumption that I dug in my heels and was a petty tyrant. Next step is go Godwinize the thread, I guess. No. I attempted to tell the customer that I was trying to help her, but she didn’t stop screaming at the top of her lungs to listen to me. That gets zero sympathy from me. I can’t help you, I can’t even change direction, if you refuse to listen to a thing I say. As you say, “in almost every case, there was a way to calm them down”. I do a lot of that when I get these calls. But it involves the other party actually being interested in doing something beyond screaming. “Behavior that is rewarded is repeated” - so I have a tendency not to reward customers that believe that screaming abuse is the way to get what they want. If you cave in and give them what they want just because they’re being dicks - and I can see this in my work experience here and in past industries - they just learn that if all else fails, be a screaming jerk. Upon review, she called back later, screamed at someone else, and they hung up on her too. Someday she’ll figure it out. As I said before, I get calls from people who have claimed to have called 3-5 times and been hung up on every time. I can’t tell them, but would very much like to tell them, “then stop being an asshole and that won’t happen.” In the majority of cases, I am able to get them calmed down and focused on resolving their issues. Sometimes I have to straight out warn them that I will end the call if they don’t knock it off. A few times I have hung up on them because they keep doing it, or I have had them swear at me and hang up after I tell them to stop swearing. I don’t take it personal, it’s just part of the job. As for resolving things on the system side of things; I have worked with computers for 30 years. I am keenly aware of system limitations. You may think or say or even demand that companies do something outside their system limitations, but in most cases, you’re not going to get it. In some cases you will, because they have special procedures to create exceptions or work-arounds due to rare events. But honestly, the most likely outcome is that they will do something within their system limitations even if they TELL you that they’re doing something else. “Tell the customer we’re going to miracle his case, then do steps X, Y and Z which is pretty much what we’d said we were going to do in the first place and will, for all intents and purposes, look the same to him.” I firmly expect that this will be the outcome when and if this is finally resolved. We will refund the plan that should have been cancelled, and apply those funds to a purchase of a new plan (which carries the exact same dates as the plan incorrectly cancelled - nothing different there), which will be discounted to cost exactly the amount refunded for the plan we cancel here. Net payment = Zero. At least, that is what I would recommend happens here. Seamless and transparent to the customer - incorrect plan disappears, plan on proper item in place, done. I hadn’t intended to post any further in this thread, so this will be the last. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/98 "2010-03-28T15:25:05Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I like the continued assumption that I dug in my heels and was a petty tyrant. Next step is go Godwinize the thread, I guess. > > No. I attempted to tell the customer that I was trying to help her, but she didn’t stop screaming at the top of her lungs to listen to me. That gets zero sympathy from me. I can’t help you, I can’t even change direction, if you refuse to listen to a thing I say. > > As you say, “in almost every case, there was a way to calm them down”. I do a lot of that when I get these calls. But it involves the other party actually being interested in doing something beyond screaming. “Behavior that is rewarded is repeated” - so I have a tendency not to reward customers that believe that screaming abuse is the way to get what they want. If you cave in and give them what they want just because they’re being dicks - and I can see this in my work experience here and in past industries - they just learn that if all else fails, be a screaming jerk. > > Upon review, she called back later, screamed at someone else, and they hung up on her too. Someday she’ll figure it out. As I said before, I get calls from people who have claimed to have called 3-5 times and been hung up on every time. I can’t tell them, but would very much like to tell them, “then stop being an asshole and that won’t happen.” In the majority of cases, I am able to get them calmed down and focused on resolving their issues. Sometimes I have to straight out warn them that I will end the call if they don’t knock it off. A few times I have hung up on them because they keep doing it, or I have had them swear at me and hang up after I tell them to stop swearing. I don’t take it personal, it’s just part of the job. > > As for resolving things on the system side of things; I have worked with computers for 30 years. I am keenly aware of system limitations. You may think or say or even demand that companies do something outside their system limitations, but in most cases, you’re not going to get it. In some cases you will, because they have special procedures to create exceptions or work-arounds due to rare events. But honestly, the most likely outcome is that they will do something within their system limitations even if they TELL you that they’re doing something else. “Tell the customer we’re going to miracle his case, then do steps X, Y and Z which is pretty much what we’d said we were going to do in the first place and will, for all intents and purposes, look the same to him.” I firmly expect that this will be the outcome when and if this is finally resolved. We will refund the plan that should have been cancelled, and apply those funds to a purchase of a new plan (which carries the exact same dates as the plan incorrectly cancelled - nothing different there), which will be discounted to cost exactly the amount refunded for the plan we cancel here. Net payment = Zero. At least, that is what I would recommend happens here. Seamless and transparent to the customer - incorrect plan disappears, plan on proper item in place, done. > > **I hadn’t intended to post any further in this thread, so this will be the last**. Which generally is an acknowledgment that one has been bested by others in the ideas department. Have fun playing with your ball the way _you_ feel like playing with it, though! ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/99 "2010-03-28T15:28:06Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > No. > > I inferred the credit card would be charged. That needs to be clearly stated. If I misunderstood I apologize. Fair enough. Thanks (though I think the OP appreciates the apology more than I) ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816/100 "2010-03-28T15:39:13Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > But honestly, the most likely outcome is that they will do something within their system limitations even if they TELL you that they’re doing something else. “Tell the customer we’re going to miracle his case, then do steps X, Y and Z which is pretty much what we’d said we were going to do in the first place and will, for all intents and purposes, look the same to him.” I firmly expect that this will be the outcome when and if this is finally resolved. We will refund the plan that should have been cancelled, and apply those funds to a purchase of a new plan (which carries the exact same dates as the plan incorrectly cancelled - nothing different there), which will be discounted to cost exactly the amount refunded for the plan we cancel here. Net payment = Zero. At least, that is what I would recommend happens here. Seamless and transparent to the customer - incorrect plan disappears, plan on proper item in place, done. Which is what should’ve been done in the first place, minus all the minutiae about “system limitations,” which customers don’t (and shouldn’t have to) give a shit about. If you’re saying you advised the customer you could fix the problem at no cost to her and that she continued screaming for no reason, sorry but I simply don’t believe you. I think you focused what you \*couldn’t \* (or wouldn’t) do, and it went downhill from there. I’d ask what company you work for to ensure that I never give it my business, but I’d never buy an extended warranty anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reality-doesnt-change-because-you-dont-want-to-hear-it/533816.md?page=6)