# Really Bad Directions **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 9, 2009, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511 "2009-04-09T14:58:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/1 "2009-04-09T14:58:53Z")
Coworker gave me directions to her house,she said to go to so and so a road and we are the house with the big pine tree in the yard.Every damn yard on that street had a big pine tree in it. Nother time, I was asking how to get to a bar,the lady told me go straight down the highway until you come to last stoplight,turn left one block after that. Didn’t dawn on me til after I started away that it might be hard to figure out which one is the last stoplight. ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/2 "2009-04-09T15:08:28Z")
HAHA! And you keep asking her for directions, why? Once, my daughter was invited to a birthday party. The boy’s directions included “we are the house across the street from the one with red curtains” – the party was at night. Luckily, he had enough sense to give us the house number, too, and when I pointed out that it was dark, the house across the street had their lights out and it was impossible to tell the colour of their curtains he had a light come on above his head. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/3 "2009-04-09T15:24:24Z")
Turn left where the church used to be. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/4 "2009-04-09T15:38:54Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > Turn left where the church used to be. And then turn right at the Johnson’s place though the Smiths moved out ‘bout ten years ago and them new folk from the city bought it so maybe it ain’t the Johnson’s place no more so never mind. Just turn right at the herd of cows and if you get to the oak stump, you’ve gone too far and you need to come back to the where the sheep got out last winter and keep going straight until you get to where you’re goin’. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/5 "2009-04-09T15:46:46Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > Turn left where the church used to be. Ha! I came in here to tell about the time my husband was instructed to turn right where the birch trees used to be. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/6 "2009-04-09T15:53:52Z")
“Go down Pine St. about 5 blocks and take a right on Apple road. There’s a big tree right there.” I have no idea why she said “There’s a big tree right there” since every single corner had a tree on it. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/7 "2009-04-09T16:52:02Z")
We’re easy to find, just keep on going til the road runs out, then go on back to the third house. Works unless you are on the wrong road. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/8 "2009-04-09T17:17:15Z")
Around here you always seem to be instructed to turn left at Aunt Sis’ house. Or at the bar where Bubba got shot. My favorite was when a girl instructed me to “go up and down about two hills and turn right”. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/9 "2009-04-09T17:21:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Turn left where the church used to be. I used to live in Middletown, NY and the local joke was that residents still use a big department store Playtogs as a landmark even though it’s been closed for over ten years. We will give directions like “it’s two blocks past Playtogs on the right” which will make no sense to new people who have no idea where Playtogs was. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/10 "2009-04-09T17:22:30Z")
“Can you tell me how to get to Washington Street?” “Yep. Turn around, turn right on that street there, then when you get to the end of it, turn right again. That’s Washington. When it stops being Washington, turn right again, take your next left so that you’re back on this street. That’s Washington too.” ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/11 "2009-04-09T17:38:51Z")
I recently got directions from a woman who told me to drive south on a road with a certain route number, let’s call it Route 42, until I saw a sign for a certain town. I watched for and read every sign, and never saw one for that town until I knew I had significantly overshot, so I pulled into a rest stop and called her to ask what now. “Oh! You’re on the motorway. I meant **OLD** Route 42!” :smack: Apparently everyone from the area still calls the old road Route 42, and the relatively new motorway that the number has been reassigned to is just “the motorway”. But I’d never been in the area before, so I was going by what the map said… ---
**Author:** ![New\_Beginning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@New\_Beginning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Beginning)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/12 "2009-04-09T18:06:56Z")
I think most people (aside from myself of course) give awful directions. I usually try to avoid getting directions entirely and just find the route myself via google maps. That won’t stop some people (like my mom) from giving directions regardless, no matter how many protestations I make that I won’t use them… ---
**Author:** ![maladroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@maladroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maladroit)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/13 "2009-04-09T18:07:44Z")
I asked my friend whether her street was north or south of a local landmark and she told me “It depends which way you are going” uhh, no it doesn’t, that’s the whole point. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/14 "2009-04-09T18:23:30Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > Turn left where the church used to be. Did you use to live in Costa Rica? I have seen with mine own two eyes ads giving adresses from a big fig tree which got chopped down in the '80s… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/15 "2009-04-09T19:44:38Z")
Ok, you’ll want to head up this road until you get to the end, then make a right. You’re going to go two, maybe two and a half miles until you get to Post Road, where you need to make a left. To make it easier, Levinson is the road just before Post, so keep an eye out for that. Then you’re going keep going until you go over a small bridge, and then make a left at the first traffic light after that, putting you on Elmwood. You’ll pass through a business district (and if you’re hungry, stop in at Emily’s Place – terrific cooking) and when you get through there, make a right at the first intersection after the water tower – that’s Green Tree Road. You’re going to be on Green Tree for awhile…six or seven miles. After awhile, it’ll open up into a four-lane road. Once it does that, then you’re going to go to the second…no, wait, they added a new one…the third light and turn green. Then just keep going straight and you’ll eventually hit the interstate. Good luck…drive safe! ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/16 "2009-04-09T19:48:22Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Did you use to live in Costa Rica? I have seen with mine own two eyes ads giving adresses from a big fig tree which got chopped down in the '80s… No! But I give horrible directions – you’re better off just following me. I know where I’m going, but if I try to tell you, you’ll end up in Lake Erie. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/17 "2009-04-09T19:54:19Z")
My husband gives the worst directions in the world. We used to drive from our house to our marina every weekend. We could do it blindfolded. So he felt confident in giving directions to his friends. (as an aside, this was before cell phones were widely used) We were waiting and waiting and waiting and no one showed up. Finally, one couple arrived (I think we’d invited 3 families) and I looked at their map (they’d stopped to ask directions.) He’d mislabeled several roads. He completely missed at least 2 others. The only thing he did right was give the name of the marina and the town - if people got to the peninsula, they’d be able to get directions from anyone to the marina. Since then, he hands the phone to me when someone asks for directions. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/18 "2009-04-09T20:31:34Z")
I was going to visit a buddy in Norwalk, CT., a city I had never been to. In fact, a state I had never been to. I don’t remember the name of the street anymore, but my buddy told me to turn on to \ instead of \. I want say it was something like South Norwalk Road, which the locals called “Sono Road” or something like that. (That’s probably not the right street, but it was similar to that). Not being a local, I spent many pleasant miles searching for this mysterious street. Thing was, my buddy wasn’t really a local, either. He’d only lived there a month or two, and he’s already tossing around the local jargon, expecting me to know what the hell he’s talking about. One of my favorite bits from _Arrowsmith_, way back in 1925: > [@Sinclair Lewis](#): > > “Yoost keep to the right. You can’t miss it.” Probably no one who has listened to the dire “you can’t miss it” has ever failed to miss it. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/19 "2009-04-09T20:36:29Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > No! But I give horrible directions – you’re better off just following me. I know where I’m going, but if I try to tell you, you’ll end up in Lake Erie. I once followed a friend in the city she lived in, and she led me down a deserted road before pulling over, looking around quizzically, and then driving to a coffeeshop that is no way similar and nowhere near where we were before. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511/20 "2009-04-09T21:41:04Z")
My first job out of college was with the Red Cross, setting up blood drives in central Alabama. As part of the process, we had to write directions to the location for the nurses/staff. One of my co-workers, who’d been doing this job for decades, turned in a sheet of directions to a rural blood drive that included “Turn left at the road with the big dog lying beside it.” The transportation coordinator sent those directions back, saying they couldn’t be accurate. My co-worker insisted on leaving the directions exactly as written; she’d been in that area for years, and knew that dog was always lying beside that particular road. Those directions were used for at least three years that I know of, and no one ever had a problem finding the blood drive location. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-directions/492511.md?page=2)