# REALLY Bad movies with big stars in them **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 27, 2002, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127 "2002-11-27T16:11:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/21 "2002-11-27T19:16:12Z")
**The Swarm** – Micael Caine, Henry Fonda, Richard Widmark, Richard Chamberlain, Fred Mac Murray, Ali McGraw, and othrs. Unbelievably bad. **Lost Horizon** – the Ross HUnter musical version, with George Kennedy, Michael York, Sam Jaffe, Peter Finch, and lots of others **Empire of th Ants** starring Joan Collins – bottom f the barrel SF. Collins actually had to promote thi one, too. \*\* The Story of Mankind\*\* – Vincent Price, Ronald Colman, Peter Lorre, the Marx Brothers, and lots of others in an amazigly bad film. John Carradine was in a _lot_ of bad films. He was in a lot of good films, too (Grapes of Wrath, for one). But I don’t think he ever turned down a movie – **Billy the Kid vs. Dracula, The Black Sleep, The str-Zombies** , and the truly, truly awful **Tales from the Past** (aka **Dr. Terror’s Gallery of Horrors** ). This is not a complete list, by any means. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/22 "2002-11-27T19:28:17Z")
What the hell was Sir Lawrence Olivier doing in \*Wild Geese II? And while we’re at it, who’s that [balding Soviet general](http://members.easyspace.com/mejensen/patrick/patwg2.html)? ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/23 "2002-11-27T19:43:19Z")
**Death to Smoochy**. Even with Robin Williams and Edward Norton (one of the finest actors today!), it stank. I remember Danny DeVito and Jon Stewart in it, too. Two hours of ick. Really. Snicks ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/24 "2002-11-27T21:00:02Z")
> [@](#): > > And I heard of a Canadian-only release with Leslie Nielsen called **Men with Brooms** …it sounds like a “bad” movie (mind, I’d still like it, I’m sure); any Canadian dopers able to confirm? \*\* Yup, it wasn’t a bad movie, not a great one either but a not bad way to spend two mindless hours in a theatre watching a nice comedy about curling. ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/25 "2002-11-27T21:37:23Z")
Oh, I’d like to see Men with Brooms, myself; I kind of like curling. Perhaps I have confused “mediocre” with “bad”. I will attempt to reform myself with some more appropriate nominations. The new **Godzilla** (Matthew Broderick)…I’m glad I saw this one for free, thanks to a radio station… Do Penn and Teller count as big stars? If so, their movie (the title of which I forgot) really proved itself after 30 minutes… How about **Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure?** (featured Morgan Fairchild) I like how the movie seemed to try to be intentionally bad. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/26 "2002-11-27T21:44:03Z")
Town and Country - W Beatty- etc etc Johnny Mnemonic - K Reeves Guarding Tess- N Cage - S Maclaine last Superman in series that had G Hackman ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/27 "2002-11-27T21:47:33Z")
I beg to differ; **Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure** is a masterpiece. ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/28 "2002-11-27T23:49:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snickers \* > \*\ ***Death to Smoochy**. Even with Robin Williams and Edward Norton (one of the finest actors today!), it stank. I remember Danny DeVito and Jon Stewart in it, too. Two hours of ick. Really. > > Snicks \*\* I’ll second that! A major disappointment. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/29 "2002-11-28T00:01:31Z")
ZOL with Sean Connery TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 with Renee Zellwegger and Matthew McConaughey THEODORE REX with Whoopi Goldberg HARLEM NIGHTS with the potentially best black cast in Hollywood history CATCH 22 with the potentially best white cast in Hollywood history ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/30 "2002-11-28T00:20:06Z")
Wanna know what the scary thing is? There were, in fact, four Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies. The second one had Dennis Hopper in it, and it was awful. The third one was just as dumb. The one with Matthew McConaughey was the fourth, and God knows how they ever got it into their head to make four, when they all sucked donkey balls after the first one. Oh. My. God. I just looked on the IMDB and I see that they’ve [remade the original](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0324216). How does one improve on perfection? This movie can only blow rhino testicles, unless Jessica Biel gets naked, and even then it’s gonna be bad. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/31 "2002-11-28T00:31:05Z")
Jeremy Irons in Dungeons & Dragons. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/32 "2002-11-28T01:33:41Z")
IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS CATCH-22 A BAD MOVIE? And Slapshot? And Pee Wee’s Big Adventure?? You people haven’t seen enough bad movies if those make the cut. And hell, Hard Target was JCvD’s _best_ movie, not worst, even if it wasn’t that great. How about Michael Caine in Jaws III ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/33 "2002-11-28T02:16:32Z")
In my ever-ending quest to quantify things that can’t really be quantified (I’m a baseball fan, see), I turn to the viewer ratings on IMDb. For some of the big stars so far mentioned in this thread (up to John Wayne), here is their worst rated movie on IMDb, released after they were reasonably famous (if it made a difference, the parenthetical mentions what movie I used as a cutoff): Warren Beatty: _Ishtar_ (3.75) Sandra Bullock: _Speed 2: Cruise Control_ (3.31) Sean Connery: _Highlander II: The Quickening_ (3.33) Joan Crawford: _Trog_ (4.34) Tom Cruise (_Risky Business_): _Cocktail_ (5.11) Clint Eastwood: _Pink Cadillac_ (4.99) Henry Fonda: _Tentacles_ (3.74) Gene Hackman: _Superman IV: The Quest for Peace_ (3.34) Tom Hanks (_Splash_): _Bonfire of the Vanities_ (4.84) Olivia de Havilland: _The Swarm_ (3.87) Dustin Hoffman: _Ishtar_ (3.75) John Huston: _Tentacles_ (3.74) Jack Lemmon: _Getting Away With Murder_ (4.32) Roddy McDowall: _Laser Black_ (3.00) Dudley Moore: _Best Defense_ (3.44) Eddie Murphy: _The Adventures of Pluto Nash_ (4.21) Paul Newman: _When Time Ran Out…_ (4.03) Gregory Peck: _Marooned_ (5.38) Sylvester Stallone (_Rocky_): _Rhinestone_ (3.13) Jimmy Stewart: _Airport '77_ (5.00) Donald Sutherland: _Gas_ (3.77) Jean-Claude Van Damme (after _Bloodsport_): _Street Fighter_ (3.13) John Wayne: _The Conquerer_ (3.97) Bruce Willis: _Breakfast of Champions_ (4.08) ---
**Author:** ![IGJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/igjoe/32/5420_2.png) [@IGJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IGJoe)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/34 "2002-11-28T02:33:07Z")
Oh my. I can’t believe no one’s mentioned any Steven Seagal movies yet. _On Deadly Ground_ is absolutely, without a doubt, the worst movie I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. And just for **obfusciatrist** , it rated 3.6 on IMDb. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/35 "2002-11-28T03:03:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Joe K \* > \*\*Do Penn and Teller count as big stars? If so, their movie (the title of which I forgot) really proved itself after 30 minutes… > \*\* [Penn & Teller Get Killed](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0098073) ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/36 "2002-11-28T04:04:55Z")
The cast of “Mars Attacks!” ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/37 "2002-11-28T04:17:29Z")
Malcolm McDowell, John Gielgud, Peter O’Toole, and Helen Mirren in **Caligula**. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/38 "2002-11-28T05:00:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manduck \* > \*\* And hell, Hard Target was JCvD’s _best_ movie, not worst, even if it wasn’t that great. > \*\* No, no, no, _no_. “Timecop” is Van Damme’s best movie, by _far_. It is actually almost a good movie in its own right. And he made at least THREE other movies better than “Hard Target”: “Bloodsport,” “Kickboxer” and “Lionheart.” Of course, none of these are great (or even good) but we’re making subjective comparisons here. What a good idea, **obfusciatrist**! (Although now I think you have too much time on your hands) It’s interesting to see that “Ishtar” is considered to be the worst movie ever made by _both_ Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty. And Tom Cruise should be proud; even his worst movie ever rated better than a 5 out of ten. ---
**Author:** ![Flowerchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/858c86/32.png) [@Flowerchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flowerchild)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/39 "2002-11-28T05:35:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Robin Williams in “Toys” I love that movie. ::looks down sadly:: ☹ ☹ ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Flowerchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/858c86/32.png) [@Flowerchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flowerchild)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127/40 "2002-11-28T05:37:27Z")
Oh yeah, What about Richard Gere in “Doctor T and the woman” Is he not famous enough or did that movie suck so much that you had to remove it from memory? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-bad-movies-with-big-stars-in-them/139127.md?page=3)