# Really, dad, racism is dumb. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 27, 2006, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323 "2006-09-27T05:50:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Silver\_Pageant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ab097/32.png) [@Silver\_Pageant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Pageant)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/1 "2006-09-27T05:50:59Z")
Hey, so it’s an open house and potluck at my tiny alternative school. Yes, dad, one of my good friends is black. Of direct African descent, in fact. Yes, he wears large sweaters, yes, he has an afro, usually with a pick or even two sticking out of it (also maybe a fountain pen or four). That doesn’t mean he’s interested in basketball. Please don’t bring up basketball as a tangent to try to relate to him. Friendofsilverpageant is really into George Bernard Shaw and Noel Coward and Friedrich Durenmatt. He’s a fantastic actor. He’s really good at frisbee, but he actually hates basketball. Some black people do, you know. Also, when I take you aside and call you on it, please don’t insist that you just had to stick in a reference to Muggsy Bogues and then have a conversation about it, or whatever. Friendofsilverpageant knew what you were doing, I knew what you were doing, you knew about the assumptions you were making. He laughed it off, I didn’t. But then, he gets it all the time. Everyone, and I mean everyone, suffers from internalized racism. So, it’s nothing to be actively ashamed and embarassed about, but it’s something you should actively strive to correct and examine. You’re not being malicious. Just incredibly stupid. Stop it. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/2 "2006-09-27T05:53:10Z")
Large… sweaters? You know, when I find out about yet another stereotype I had never heard of before, I never know whether to feel ignorant or virtuous. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Pageant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ab097/32.png) [@Silver\_Pageant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Pageant)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/3 "2006-09-27T05:56:37Z")
[QUOTE=matt\_mcl] Large… sweaters? You know, when I find out about yet another stereotype I had never heard of before, I never know whether to feel ignorant or virtuous. [/QUOTE] Well, oversized hoodies would I guess be a better choice of words. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/4 "2006-09-27T05:57:25Z")
[QUOTE=matt\_mcl] Large… sweaters? You know, when I find out about yet another stereotype I had never heard of before, I never know whether to feel ignorant or virtuous. [/QUOTE] OK? In a college writing class, someone wrote a story in which he could tell a lightskinned guy was black “by his fingernails.” I looked over at my friend Scott, a black kid, and he held up his fingernails, looked at me, and shrugged. To this day I have no idea what the first kid meant. _Fingernails?_ ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/5 "2006-09-27T07:00:14Z")
I didn’t know about the fingernail thing until I read a biography of actress Merle Oberon. Closeups of her hands were avoided because her fingernails revealed her multi-ethnicity. She was one-quarter Eastern Indian. The nail beds of people of color sometimes show up a little pinker or whiter in contrast to the skin surrounding them. I’ve been gleefully searching for this trait in photographs of ancestors ever since. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/6 "2006-09-27T07:07:55Z")
[QUOTE=Zoe] I didn’t know about the fingernail thing until I read a biography of actress Merle Oberon. Closeups of her hands were avoided because her fingernails revealed her multi-ethnicity. She was one-quarter Eastern Indian. The nail beds of people of color sometimes show up a little pinker or whiter in contrast to the skin surrounding them. I’ve been gleefully searching for this trait in photographs of ancestors ever since. [/QUOTE] Hmm… I’m pretty white in skin color but my fingernails are noticeably more pink. It has been said that I have black blood in my family, but that’s quite a few generations back. Could this really be proof or is this theory bunk? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/7 "2006-09-27T07:26:26Z")
Are you sure that’s what your dad’s doing? Maybe he’s just a bore about basketball to everyone he meets. Now, if he’s not that kind of bore, ignore this post. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/8 "2006-09-27T07:28:54Z")
[QUOTE=Silver Pageant] Everyone, and I mean everyone, suffers from internalized racism. [/QUOTE] Not me. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/9 "2006-09-27T07:42:40Z")
At least your father’s racism is an attempt at being nice. My evil BIL, (EBIL) a conservative prick from the South (and please note I’m separating the three adjetives here, not all conservatives or Southerns are pricks and certainly not vice versa) claims to not be racist, but constantly interjects racial commments into whatever subjects are on hand. For example, their part of Georgia has a program where monthly internet fees include a charge which is used to subsidize low income users. EBIL complained that his money was going to “poor blacks”. :rolleyes: I challange him sometime, such as asking if he’s more pissed that this money is going to poor people or black people, and he always backtracks, but it annoys the hell out of me. ---
**Author:** ![Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoundrel_Swanswater)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/10 "2006-09-27T09:03:06Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] Not me. [/QUOTE] Of course _you_ don’t. :rolleyes: I am with SilverPageant on this : everybody carries prejudices and has some racism in their system. That is just the way the human mind works. Now of course you don’t act on this, but I think people who deny this are being a little less then honest with themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/11 "2006-09-27T09:36:58Z")
[QUOTE=Scoundrel Swanswater] Of course _you_ don’t. :rolleyes: I am with SilverPageant on this : everybody carries prejudices and has some racism in their system. That is just the way the human mind works. Now of course you don’t act on this, but I think people who deny this are being a little less then honest with themselves. [/QUOTE] So, how long have you been psychic? ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/12 "2006-09-27T10:25:05Z")
Laughably ham-handed attempts to make conversation amount to racism now? When people get flummoxed talking to my brother the minister, does that make them anti-Christian? :rolleyes: Get over it, sister. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/13 "2006-09-27T10:35:15Z")
[QUOTE=Silver Pageant] yes, he has an afro, usually with a pick or even two sticking out of it (also maybe a fountain pen or four). [/QUOTE] Wait. He puts pens in his hair? What is that all about? ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/14 "2006-09-27T10:55:08Z")
How is what is described in the OP racism? There’s a higher than normal chance that people from the north of England have an interest in rugby league. Is it bigoted for someone from down south to break the ice with a discussion on rugby league? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/15 "2006-09-27T11:16:10Z")
[QUOTE=Scoundrel Swanswater] Of course _you_ don’t. :rolleyes: I am with SilverPageant on this : everybody carries prejudices and has some racism in their system. That is just the way the human mind works. Now of course you don’t act on this, but I think people who deny this are being a little less then honest with themselves. [/QUOTE] Well, for starters, she did not say “everyone carries prejudices,” she said “everyone, I mean everyone, suffers from internalized racism,” a statement which is basically incoherent, but at any rate demonstrably false. Do six month old children suffer from “internalized racism?” No? Then we can dismiss the emphatic “everyone.” We are then left with three terms that scream for definition, “suffers”, “internalized,” and “racism.” Let me ask you (or her) a few questions that will help me to understand. If I harbor racism in my heart, but think that it is just fine, can I said to be suffering? Is prejudice the same thing as racism? If I commit no overt racist acts, ever, but harbor racist thoughts, am I a racist? Is simply making assumptions about a person, on the basis of his race, with no derogatory element, racist? ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/16 "2006-09-27T11:29:33Z")
[QUOTE=GuanoLad] Wait. He puts pens in his hair? What is that all about? [/QUOTE] It’s a black thing. You wouldn’t understand. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/17 "2006-09-27T11:42:16Z")
[QUOTE=GuanoLad] Wait. He puts pens in his hair? What is that all about? [/QUOTE] The secretary in _Ferris Buehler’s Day Off_ did it in the '80s. Blame her. ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/18 "2006-09-27T11:51:12Z")
Not only pens, but _fountain_ pens?!? That’s an accident waiting to happen. Of course, here in Texas we keep a quill and a bottle of ink up there, so who am I to judge? ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/19 "2006-09-27T12:00:43Z")
[QUOTE=Silver Pageant] That doesn’t mean he’s interested in basketball. Please don’t bring up basketball as a tangent to try to relate to him. Friendofsilverpageant is really into George Bernard Shaw and Noel Coward and Friedrich Durenmatt. He’s a fantastic actor. He’s really good at frisbee, but he actually hates basketball. Some black people do, you know. [/QUOTE] So, do you and your dad spend any time together, you know, talking and stuff? So he made a lame and awkward attempt to have a conversation with one of your “good friends.” Does he even know who your friends are and what they’re “into”? Do either of you know what each other is “into”? Because it seems to me that if he cares enough about you to send you to send you to an “alternative school” - whatever the fuck that means - instead of a public school, you should at least make an effort to get to know him a little better and let him get to know you. That way, you won’t come across so much as a priveleged little whiney shit. Whoops! There I go, making an asuumption about you - just like you did about your dad! ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2006, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323/20 "2006-09-27T12:36:52Z")
You should really follow your friend’s example and let it go. It’s just not a big deal. I once went to a dinner where the host went on and on about the special menu planned with me in mind. The meal had fried chicken with watermelon for dessert. It could have been meant to be nasty, or the host might have just been really out of touch, but either way I thought it was hilarious. It was like something out of a comedy skit. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dad-racism-is-dumb/374323.md?page=2)