# Really dumb and counterproductive stuff you see in dating profiles **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 23, 2015, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638 "2015-05-23T07:24:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2015, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/21 "2015-05-23T22:48:33Z")
It’s a hoot to look at some of the younger-guy profiles. A huge percentage, if not the outright majority, of them have a girl’s head in the corner of the photo. We guessed that he was looking through some pictures, thought this was a good one of him, and it didn’t occur to him that there might be, ahem, SOMEONE ELSE in the picture. And then you have the “must be discreet” ones. I used to see those a lot in the newspaper ads. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2015, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/22 "2015-05-23T23:05:14Z")
> [@robertliguori](#): > > Only if the traits are uncorrelated! If tall people tend to be richer (and rich people tend to be taller), then asking for someone in the upper 50% of tallness and richness doesn’t drop you down to 25% of possible applicants. If you had 10 people who were strictly ordered in both income and height, you wouldn’t be restricting the applicant pool at all with the extra condition. > > Of course, a lot of what’s being asked for is very arbitrary and often petty, so you still really cut down the population, but it’s not by just a simple multiplication of percentages. > > Now I just need to find out a way to screen for women who like their dating partners to be statistically rigorous… “SWF ISO actuaries, economists, epidemiologists…” ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/23 "2015-05-24T00:29:16Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > If each requirement removes a good fraction of possible candidates, it doesn’t take many of them before your chance of somebody actually meeting all those MUSTS and finding your ad and actually living in your area are pretty much zero. In many ways and on many levels, dating is indistinguishable from job-hunting. And on-line dating is indistinguishable from on-line job-hunting. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/24 "2015-05-24T06:25:59Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > Online dating is worse. If a woman is ready to meet a solid guy, no later if she puts “LTR” in the checkbox and goes negative as the OP cites with “not looking for a hookup,” her inbox is still full of messages as if she had gone to a meat market bar. Worse, since it takes less nerve to send that message than to walk up and pitch it in person. It is a difficult comparison. I have always had trouble just finding people I was interested in and attracted to. I went to college, didn’t meet her, went to Japan and met my ex-wife but not really anyone else. If online dating had existed back in the 1990s, I almost certainly would not have married my ex-wife and gone back to Japan. One of the main reasons I married her is that I just hadn’t met anyone else and I wanted to get married, have kids, and so on. Not having met and dated enough other people also meant that I was ignorant that certain behavior shouldn’t be tolerated. I tolerated it and have had to deal with it. I think if you’re really picky like me, online dating can vastly extend the candidates you can look at and find someone “special.” That said, I’ve still failed. But I met people I certainly would not have met otherwise, such as people outside my geographic area and have certainly learned a great deal. As for the experience itself, both have their pros and cons. The biggest thing that ruins it for both men and women is jackass, low-grade men spamming everyone on the sites. It gives women a lot of crap to wade through, so they have less time for genuine candidates. Moreover, it gives them a false sense of being in demand, so I think they are more likely to blow off genuine candidates. > [@](#): > > Before online dating, outside the meat markets, you were getting to better know someone you already at least somewhat knew. By then you’d gotten past the red flags and superficial judgement. Online, that’s the whole point of the exercise. And it sucks for guys because they still pay for the first few dates. But they get ghosted after the first few dates because the pool of suitors is so full. The trouble I have now with offline dating is that, even if I see someone that is attractive and want to ask her out, I just don’t know anything about her. Of course, that was always the case, but online dating has in effect spoiled me. Or perhaps it has educated me: most people, even if they are mutually physically attracted, have some deal-breaker that will prevent the success of the relationship. It’s better to know those sooner than later. The advantage of offline dating, however, is that you know at least that you find each other physically attracted before you go on the date. All of the time I go on dates from online, and I have to take one look and know it’s not going to work based on attraction alone. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/25 "2015-05-24T09:34:31Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > It’s a hoot to look at some of the younger-guy profiles. A huge percentage, if not the outright majority, of them have a girl’s head in the corner of the photo. We guessed that he was looking through some pictures, thought this was a good one of him, and it didn’t occur to him that there might be, ahem, SOMEONE ELSE in the picture. That’s on purpose. The idea is that already having a girl makes the guy more attractive to other girls. And considering how fucked up in the head most humans are, I wouldn’t even be surprised if it works, at least on a subliminal level. ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/26 "2015-05-24T10:31:02Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > That’s on purpose. The idea is that already having a girl makes the guy more attractive to other girls. And considering how fucked up in the head most humans are, I wouldn’t even be surprised if it works, at least on a subliminal level. Preselection. It works. Even married men are supposed to be more attractive to other girls just for being married. I saw this one, once: _“You have have achieved and executed a successful life, you are extremely generous and kind. You exude confidence (but not arrogance). 40-55, single, handsome, financial secure, tall, smart, charismatic, intelligent, international, bi/tri-lingual, sporty, respectful, and know how to appreciate, and treat a real lady.”_ - saved it for posterity since I thought it was so glorious. She was 41, not particular pretty. ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/27 "2015-05-24T11:55:31Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > Yes, that’s true. But I’m still **smh** about these things along the way. > [@Frylock](#): > > It seems like your **syh** because you’re assuming your reaction is universally or nearly universally shared. But I’d bet you’re wrong. I’d bet these women get tons of contact from guys who are into them partly _because_ of the very things you’re **syh** at. wtf? bbq? > [@billfish678](#): > > I guess these people have never multiplied a decent length string of fractions together. The Drake Equation of online dating. I like it! ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/28 "2015-05-24T12:23:55Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > I saw this one, once: > _“You have have achieved and executed a successful life, you are extremely generous and kind. You exude confidence (but not arrogance). 40-55, single, handsome, financial secure, tall, smart, charismatic, intelligent, international, bi/tri-lingual, sporty, respectful, and know how to appreciate, and treat a real lady.”_ - saved it for posterity since I thought it was so glorious. She was 41, not particular pretty. I see what you mean. 41 and not pretty? Better just settle for what you can get. (Seriously, it pains me that age and hotness is what you recall. Was this woman highly educated and successful herself? Intelligent? Does any of that matter, or does 41-and-not-pretty trump all?) ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/29 "2015-05-24T12:43:06Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > (Seriously, it pains me that age and hotness is what you recall. Was this woman highly educated and successful herself? Intelligent? Does any of that matter, or does 41-and-not-pretty trump all?) Yes it does. Education and a successful career means little to me either way. She can be a unemployed, a school teacher or CEO of Apple. Whatever. Looks, age, fun, a nice personality. Those are way more important. It’s a classic mistake a lot of women make, to assume that men’s interests in a potential partner are the same as their own interests in a potential partner. So they assume if they have a couple of phd’s and a really nice job, they can aim a lot higher. But it seldom works that way. btw. yes we all settle. But if your idea of settling is a partner which doesn’t fullfil her whole list of requirements, well I don’t know. I doubt he exists. He’d also have way more and better options that her. So either she’ll remain single forever, or she’ll settle. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/30 "2015-05-24T12:45:59Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > That’s on purpose. The idea is that already having a girl makes the guy more attractive to other girls. And considering how fucked up in the head most humans are, I wouldn’t even be surprised if it works, at least on a subliminal level. I think it is called the halo effect. Another trick is to show up at a place where you want to pick up girls with a hot girl as your companion, it can make you seem more attractive to the women there. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/31 "2015-05-24T13:01:20Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > Yes it does. Education and a successful career means little to me either way. She can be a unemployed, a school teacher or CEO of Apple. Whatever. Looks, age, fun, a nice personality. Those are way more important. > > It’s a classic mistake a lot of women make, to assume that men’s interests in a potential partner are the same as their own interests in a potential partner. So they assume if they have a couple of phd’s and a really nice job, they can aim a lot higher. But it seldom works that way. > > btw. yes we all settle. But if your idea of settling is a partner which doesn’t fullfil her whole list of requirements, well I don’t know. I doubt he exists. He’d also have way more and better options that her. So either she’ll remain single forever, or she’ll settle. On paper, at least, a successful 41 year old woman with two PhDs should be the loneliest person in the world. She won’t fuck down. I mean, she sure as hell won’t fuck me, for instance. So she’ll be shooting for a man with at least as much money and as many PhDs as herself. Only he’s not interested, because he’s drooling over the 23 year old hot barista chick with half a college degree. Who won’t fuck him. And who won’t fuck me either, BTW. Wait, is anyone getting laid in this scenario? I’m sure not. Unless the guy gets desperate enough. Maybe I could talk him into something. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/32 "2015-05-24T13:24:08Z")
Anyone with two PhDs has wasted a lot of time and is obviously a Career Academic without the intellectual chops to get a professorship. I’d steer clear. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/33 "2015-05-24T13:25:30Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > Preselection. It works. Even married men are supposed to be more attractive to other girls just for being married. > > I saw this one, once: > _“You have have achieved and executed a successful life, you are extremely generous and kind. You exude confidence (but not arrogance). 40-55, single, handsome, financial secure, tall, smart, charismatic, intelligent, international, bi/tri-lingual, sporty, respectful, and know how to appreciate, and treat a real lady.”_ - saved it for posterity since I thought it was so glorious. She was 41, not particular pretty. > [@Athena](#): > > I see what you mean. 41 and not pretty? Better just settle for what you can get. > > (Seriously, it pains me that age and hotness is what you recall. Was this woman highly educated and successful herself? Intelligent? Does any of that matter, or does 41-and-not-pretty trump all?) > [@Rune](#): > > Yes it does. Education and a successful career means little to me either way. She can be a unemployed, a school teacher or CEO of Apple. Whatever. Looks, age, fun, a nice personality. Those are way more important. The idea that being 41 :eek: and not particularly pretty :eek: are so awful as to trump everything else…yeah, that’s pretty cringey. But Rune pointed out that fun and a nice personality are just as important to him - and that woman’s ad doesn’t make her sound like she’s an awful lot of fun, or particularly nice to be around. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/34 "2015-05-24T13:37:39Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > On paper, at least, a successful 41 year old woman with two PhDs should be the loneliest person in the world. She won’t fuck down. Uh… I know quite a few women (ok, I don’t know if any of them have two PhDs) who are succesful and married to guys with less degrees than they. > [@](#): > > I mean, she sure as hell won’t fuck me, for instance. Darlin’, that’s another problem 😛 > [@Sattua](#): > > Anyone with two PhDs has wasted a lot of time and is obviously a Career Academic without the intellectual chops to get a professorship. I’d steer clear. One of my uncles collected degrees; studying was his hobby. He never meant to become a professor, but he had something like four bachelors and two PhDs. Spoke a bunch of languages too. His wife was a university professor (she’s now retired). ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/35 "2015-05-24T14:05:08Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > It is a difficult comparison. I have always had trouble just finding people I was interested in and attracted to. I went to college, didn’t meet her, went to Japan and met my ex-wife but not really anyone else. If online dating had existed back in the 1990s, I almost certainly would not have married my ex-wife and gone back to Japan. One of the main reasons I married her is that I just hadn’t met anyone else and I wanted to get married, have kids, and so on. Not having met and dated enough other people also meant that I was ignorant that certain behavior shouldn’t be tolerated. I tolerated it and have had to deal with it. I think if you’re really picky like me, online dating can vastly extend the candidates you can look at and find someone “special.” That said, I’ve still failed. But I met people I certainly would not have met otherwise, such as people outside my geographic area and have certainly learned a great deal. > > As for the experience itself, both have their pros and cons. The biggest thing that ruins it for both men and women is jackass, low-grade men spamming everyone on the sites. It gives women a lot of crap to wade through, so they have less time for genuine candidates. Moreover, it gives them a false sense of being in demand, so I think they are more likely to blow off genuine candidates. > > The trouble I have now with offline dating is that, even if I see someone that is attractive and want to ask her out, I just don’t know anything about her. Of course, that was always the case, but online dating has in effect spoiled me. Or perhaps it has educated me: most people, even if they are mutually physically attracted, have some deal-breaker that will prevent the success of the relationship. It’s better to know those sooner than later. The advantage of offline dating, however, is that you know at least that you find each other physically attracted before you go on the date. **All of the time I go on dates from online, and I have to take one look and know it’s not going to work based on attraction alone.** Are these women without pictures, or women whose pictures are not who they are? ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/36 "2015-05-24T14:08:26Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > It is a difficult comparison. I have always had trouble just finding people I was interested in and attracted to. I went to college, didn’t meet her, went to Japan and met my ex-wife but not really anyone else. If online dating had existed back in the 1990s, I almost certainly would not have married my ex-wife and gone back to Japan. One of the main reasons I married her is that I just hadn’t met anyone else and I wanted to get married, have kids, and so on. Not having met and dated enough other people also meant that I was ignorant that certain behavior shouldn’t be tolerated. I tolerated it and have had to deal with it. I think if you’re really picky like me, online dating can vastly extend the candidates you can look at and find someone “special.” That said, I’ve still failed. But I met people I certainly would not have met otherwise, such as people outside my geographic area and have certainly learned a great deal. > > As for the experience itself, both have their pros and cons. The biggest thing that ruins it for both men and women is jackass, low-grade men spamming everyone on the sites. It gives women a lot of crap to wade through, so they have less time for genuine candidates. Moreover, it gives them a false sense of being in demand, so I think they are more likely to blow off genuine candidates. > > The trouble I have now with offline dating is that, even if I see someone that is attractive and want to ask her out, I just don’t know anything about her. Of course, that was always the case, but online dating has in effect spoiled me. Or perhaps it has educated me: most people, even if they are mutually physically attracted, have some deal-breaker that will prevent the success of the relationship. It’s better to know those sooner than later. The advantage of offline dating, however, is that you know at least that you find each other physically attracted before you go on the date. **All of the time I go on dates from online, and I have to take one look and know it’s not going to work based on attraction alone.** Are these women without pictures, or women whose pictures are not who they are? If it’s the second case, what do you do? I’d be strongly tempted to walk up, say, “I’m sorry I just got an emergency phone call and I’m going to have to reschedule” and walk the fuck out again. One final question (I’ve been married many long years) are men still expected to pay for dates? Edit: sorry for the double post. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/37 "2015-05-24T14:16:07Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > Preselection. It works. Even married men are supposed to be more attractive to other girls just for being married. > > I saw this one, once: > _“You have have achieved and executed a successful life, you are extremely generous and kind. You exude confidence (but not arrogance). 40-55, single, handsome, financial secure, tall, smart, charismatic, intelligent, international, bi/tri-lingual, sporty, respectful, and know how to appreciate, and treat a real lady.”_ - saved it for posterity since I thought it was so glorious. She was 41, not particular pretty. I don’t know about anyone else but she sounds like a hooker. Seriously. She makes mention of money, or alludes to it four times within a fairly short paragraph. The rest of the desirable characteristics get a cursory mention but it is as clear as can be that she’ll definitely fuck you if you have enough money. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/38 "2015-05-24T14:24:00Z")
Tell me about it. You leave your profession blank and maybe there’s some interest. You change it over to Financial Services/Broker/whatever and suddenly there’s some women coming at you. Trust me on this one. Dating IS a horrible process. But it’s still possible to be considerate about it. I take the women’s profiles that say things like ‘not looking for a hookup/don’t ask for money/whatever’ to be indicative of the sorts of messages they must get on a regular basis. It’s sad and it does get in the way of more serious messages. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/39 "2015-05-24T15:28:12Z")
Complicating things are all of the fake profiles from spammers trolling for email addresses. You contact a woman and “she” (probably not even a woman) responds with something like: “My friend set up this account for me and I don’t know how to use it so email me at [sexybabe@camsite.com](mailto:sexybabe@camsite.com) instead.” Seriously? It’s more effort to use this dating site than it is to use email? And somehow you managed to read my message and reply? I don’t think so. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638/40 "2015-05-24T16:29:32Z")
> [@](#): > > Kids in pictures… pregnant chicks?! > [@](#): > > A photo of a man kissing a woman. Um… so, are you two still together? > [@](#): > > I don’t want a boy, I want a MAN > [@](#): > > It’s a classic mistake a lot of women make, to assume that men’s interests in a potential partner are the same as their own interests in a potential partner I’m amazed at how many people assume that what _they_ want to see when looking at dating profiles is necessarily what someone _else_ wants to see when looking at dating profiles. On OKCupid in particular, highly unusual people and/or people with highly unusual criteria for dateworthiness in someone else can come in and find likely folks to connect with. > [@Frylock](#): > > It seems like your syh because you’re assuming your reaction is universally or nearly universally shared. But I’d bet you’re wrong. I’d bet these women get tons of contact from guys who are into them partly _because_ of the very things you’re syh at. For example, some guys have kids of their own and want to connect with somebody that has kids. Some guys like being able to listen to a romantic interest talk about their troubles. Etc. ^^^ yeah, this. > [@Aeschines](#): > > If online dating had existed back in the 1990s Ummm, it did. I met someone I had about 3 years with in 1995. Again, resulting in a 12 year relationship, in 1998. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-and-counterproductive-stuff-you-see-in-dating-profiles/720638.md?page=3)