# Really dumb "loopholes" people you know tried to do legally/criminally and failed miserably **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 27, 2023, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451 "2023-02-27T20:54:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2023, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/21 "2023-02-28T17:53:43Z")
I knew a guy years ago who got around his breathalyzer by getting random individuals to blow into it for him in exchange for $5. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2023, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/22 "2023-02-28T18:19:15Z")
What a stupid idea. Even without the eyewitness testimony, wouldn’t the medical professionals be able to tell this wasn’t a fresh injury? And I’m curious what his cover story would have been exactly. All seems like too many possible points of failure to even try. (Plus his worsened health outcome) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2023, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/23 "2023-02-28T18:49:50Z")
He thought the doctor wouldn’t be able to discuss the case with his employer. He was always scheming; sometimes the schemes won, often they lost. He liked old Cadillacs and owned many. He bought one and then had immediate buyer’s remorse due to his finances. He made a copy of the car key and gave it to a neighborhood criminal, who stole the car. He filed a police report, notified his insurance company, etc. The car thief put other plates on the car and was driving it, but a relative borrowed the car from him and returned it to my friend’s home, not knowing that was where it was stolen from. Hilarity ensued. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2023, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/24 "2023-02-28T20:59:58Z")
By any chance, have any of them contributed to our “Why are you always late?” thread. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/25 "2023-03-01T12:54:51Z")
Link? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/26 "2023-03-01T13:53:01Z")
We need those. We **need** a place that serves Wine, Whiskey, Beer and Snicker-doodles. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/27 "2023-03-01T16:34:42Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > … > He filed a police report, notified his insurance company, etc. The car thief put other plates on the car and was driving it, but a relative borrowed the car from him and returned it to my friend’s home, not knowing that was where it was stolen from. > > Hilarity ensued. This is why crime is so hard. Great story! ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/28 "2023-03-01T16:40:59Z")
> [@Rebo](#): > > Link? This one, I believe. > [@Why are you always late?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-you-always-late/942631): > > This may come across as a pitting but I honestly want to know the thinking process behind being late all of the time. This is one of the sticking points between Mrs. Cad and me. She is always late. ALWAYS. She says we are leaving at 12:15 to make an appointment at 1:00. So of course she gets up at 11:55, takes a leisurely shower and we may wander out the door at :12:30 if lucky and end up 10 minutes late to the appointment. EVERY F’ING TIME. How is it that people can’t figure out how to w… ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/29 "2023-03-01T17:02:56Z")
Years ago my older brother tried a US postage stamp scam. He paid $3 for a letter that claimed people were being ripped off by the USPS on stamps. The letter stated for the USPS to raise postage rates, it required approval from congress with the law from 1932 that stated this. It also said the last time congress approved a rate increase was 1964 when the price of a stamp went from 4 cents to 5 cents. Thus the then price of 13 cents for a stamp was illegal. My brother sent out a couple hundred letter to people in a mailing list he bought, the letters said send me $3 and he would send a letter to tell people how to save money on postage. He sent these letters using 5 cent stamps. He also did not have a return address on the letters so he had no idea how many were actually delivered. He got one reply. So he sent 200 more. A few weeks later a couple guys in suits showed up at his doorstep with a bag of his letters. The read him the riot act. They found him by opening one of the letters he sent that included his address. They also gave him a copy of the current law, it made the USPS in independent organization and created the Postal Regulatory Commission that approved all increases in postage. That new law also invalidated the law my brother was trying to send to all these other people. This cost him about $300 and all he got for it was $3. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/30 "2023-03-01T17:10:34Z")
Chain letters are illegal in the first place, the fact that it was a chain letter _about_ the mail system that he was illegally abusing just makes it more amusing. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/31 "2023-03-01T17:13:20Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > “Should I be punished for stuff I didn’t do?” > “Of course not!” > “…I didn’t do my homework.” Man (to his Preacher): Should a man profit from another man’s mistake? Preacher: Of course not. Man: Then you’re return the fee I paid you for my wedding? ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/32 "2023-03-01T17:18:50Z")
Sort of a loophole. My high school friends somehow learned of a “hack” around the new police radar guns (in the 70s). They believed that cramming your hubcaps full of aluminum foil would “interrupt the signal” such that the cop couldn’t give you a ticket. This was passed around as gospel one week, and the next Monday at school a few had learned it didn’t work. If zombies had invaded my high school, they would’ve starved. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/33 "2023-03-01T17:29:57Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > If zombies had invaded my high school, they would’ve starved 😃 😀 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/34 "2023-03-01T17:40:46Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > They believed that cramming your hubcaps full of aluminum foil would “interrupt the signal” such that the cop couldn’t give you a ticket. They were close. You had to wad them into balls that could move around, thus creating a rotating flux field when the radar waves went through. The only reason we don’t still try this is because cars don’t have hubcaps anymore. ---
**Author:** ![abcdefghij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/43a26b/32.png) [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2023, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/35 "2023-03-02T00:44:25Z")
> [@mixdenny](#): > > The only reason we don’t still try this is because cars don’t have hubcaps anymore. Why do you think hubcaps were banned? ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2023, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/36 "2023-03-02T00:54:04Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > We **need** a place that serves Wine, Whiskey, Beer and Snicker-doodles. I can tell you from experience that a cookie and a glass of brandy is actually a pretty good combo. Whiskey would probably be good, too. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2023, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/37 "2023-03-02T00:57:57Z")
One from my grandfather’s memoirs: There was a fellow in his neighborhood, a real “slippy fellow”, in his words, who had trained his horse to go when he said “whoa”, and stop when he said “giddyup”. He pulled his cart up to the local general store, loaded it up with groceries, and just when he was about to pay, said “Whoa, Nellie”. And then, of course, he had to chase after his horse down the street, yelling “Whoa, whoa” the whole way. ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2023, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/38 "2023-03-02T18:07:00Z")
Back in the early 80s, I had a friend who wanted to get around the prohibition on “open containers” of alcohol in a car. He rerouted the tubing from his windshield washer so it exited just below his dashboard. He then cleaned the washer fluid reservoir, pump, and tubing as well as he could and filled the reservoir with (cheap) whiskey. He could hold a glass, can of soda, or a paper cup just under the dash and hit the washer button to get a couple shots. As I recall, one of the problems was that the system dispensed a bit more liquor than he wanted each time. But there came a time where he got stopped and the officer was smart enough to find the half-full cup and figure out what was going on. I don’t recall the details, but he was convicted in spite of not actually being under the influence. I’m guessing the judge just rolled his/her eyes and found him guilty anyway. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2023, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/39 "2023-03-02T20:29:11Z")
> [@WildaBeast](#): > > I can tell you from experience that a cookie and a glass of brandy is actually a pretty good combo. Whiskey would probably be good, too. There is a brand of whiskey called “Dough Ball” that is cookie dough flavored whiskey. I got a bottle for Christmas and have yet to try it. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2023, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451/40 "2023-03-02T20:32:29Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > I got a bottle for Christmas and have yet to try it. Heh. You have far more self control than I do. The several bottles of liquor I got for xmas are dust in the wind. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-loopholes-people-you-know-tried-to-do-legally-criminally-and-failed-miserably/980451.md?page=3)