# Really dumb stuff your pet does: no cute allowed. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 27, 2010, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506 "2010-04-27T11:30:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/81 "2010-04-30T04:58:24Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > One of my rabbits often tries to hump the other - they’re both male, and have neutering scheduled in their near future. The humpee discovered that he could roll his eyes and put up with the humping, or run away, or put his butt in a corner (like the litter box). When the humper sees that the targeted hind end is stuffed in a corner, he’s started to paw at the back of the humpee, as if he’s digging, to get him to move into an accessible position. > > Except that now humper-bunny has apparently become confused, and will occasionally start pawing for “access” at humpee-bunny when the chosen option that time was “just sit there and deal with it.” :smack: Ah, that’s bunnies for you! My dear, departed Flemish Giant, Harvey, used to get pounced on regularly by my little Dutch bunny, Buster. Buster was fixed, Harvey hadn’t been when this first happened. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/82 "2010-04-30T05:16:35Z")
> [@GESancMan](#): > > Not my pet, but many years ago a buddy of mine had a beagle that was a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic. One time we spent a weekend at his property up in the Sierras. During the summer, there are these huge meat bees there - mean suckers, they don’t bother with their stingers, they just bite you. The dog kept nipping at them, and my buddy kept yelling “Mony, NO! They’re gonna bite you, it’s gonna hurt!” > > She finally got one. Much yipping and yelping ensued, and she kept shaking her head to the point we thought she might rattle it right off. We finally got her calmed down, she seemed to be okay. Five minutes later, guess what she was doing? > > I don’t remember how many times she got bit that weekend. We tried keeping her in the cabin for a while, but then we had to put up with her howling… finally my buddy just let her do her thing, hoping Mony would learn her lesson. She didn’t. Yellowjackets (ie meat bees) don’t bite in self defense, they sting. ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/83 "2010-04-30T08:05:44Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Yellowjackets (ie meat bees) don’t bite in self defense, they sting. Maybe that’s not what they were, then. I remember they were some kind of big, mean insect that bites… I think. This happened about twenty years ago. ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/84 "2010-04-30T08:39:19Z")
We have a sliding glass door, and a dog who won’t even walk through it when it’s _open_ because he’s apparently convinced he’s going to run into a transparent barrier. But when he sees one of his doggy friends going for a walk, he gets so excited that he takes off running and crashes headlong into it. But he’s a little 12 pound fluff-ball who’s more fur than dog, so he just bounces right off. ---
**Author:** ![MsChilePepper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@MsChilePepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsChilePepper)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/85 "2010-04-30T09:22:38Z")
When I was in high school, we had a big old cherry tree in our front yard. The cherries were lovely for pies, but so sour, you really couldn’t eat them without sweetening. It was a very old tree, and the branches drooped like a weeping willow’s, many of them actually touching the ground. We had a not-entirely bright dog, Cassie, who was half spring spaniel and half standard poodle. She was black and white, and people always thought she was a sheepdog puppy. Anyway, in the summer when the cherries were ripe, she would take the droopy branches in her mouth and strip all the leaves and cherries off any she could reach. She’d spit out the leaves and eat the cherries, pits and all. She did not stop until she couldn’t reach anymore. Then she’d whine piteously when the intestinal distress took hold, and rush outside to deposit a pile of cherry pits in the yard. Then as soon as the cherries grew back, she’d do it again. All cherry season. Every year. Stupid mutt. ---
**Author:** ![Caprese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Caprese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caprese)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/86 "2010-04-30T12:19:51Z")
Beau lifts his leg to pee like any normal male dog, nothing dumb about that. But 3 or 4 times a week, he’ll lift his leg to pee, I will patiently stand there staring into space, and suddenly hear \ \ noises. Beau is pooping while he stands there peeing. I dunno, maybe this double maneuver is smart instead of dumb. ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/87 "2010-04-30T13:18:24Z")
My Boston Terrier steals my nicotine gum, It’s expensive and he can smell ABC gum a mile away. I had to put the trash bin up so he would not dig out pieces. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/88 "2010-04-30T13:36:54Z")
My son’s cat likes to sneak into the linen closet when the door is open and hide. Eventually, whoever is getting something or putting it away finishes and closes the door. Does he cry? No. But after about an hour, in the house you’ll hear a mysterious sound: . . . _Thunk!_ . . . _Thunk!_ . . . _Thunk!_ . . . After a while someone will realise that he is using his head as a battering ram against the oak door. BTW, it has never surprised me that as he has grown, his head has become more and more pronouncedly flat and [bear-shaped](http://www.udap.com/images/bears/Booth_Bear_head_shot_for_web.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/89 "2010-04-30T14:55:10Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > Louie, the large fluffy cat that secretly owns our home, has a problem with food. He stuffs his face without chewing his food, then horks it back up. Then he runs back to the food dish to fill his face again. One of our furballs does this, too, or would if we left enough food down for repeated trips. A vet said in our case the cat was eating as fast as possible to get her food before one of the other members of the herd muscled in on her share. And since the kibble was small enough to more or less swallow whole, she wasn’t chewing it much. She suggested we find a brand with larger chunks, so that the cats had to chew it before swallowing. After a bit of searching, we found a Science Diet brand that seems to be working. It’s also a light version, and maybe even formulated to reduce hairballs. If you want the name, I can get it and add it here. Before this change, we used to get the occasional midnight hork as well. The only thing worse than the sound of the feline digestive tract operating in reverse at 3 AM is the realization that it’s between you and the light switch. Guess how you’re gonna find _that_ treasure in the morning? A neighbor used to have a female lab that got completely spoiled. She wouldn’t feed it dog food - she cooked for it. The dog ate as well - or better - than her husband. And ate more, too - she got really blimped out soon, and developed severe joint problems. But since mama did EVERYTHING for this dog, she never learned anything cute beyond the “I’m hungry” look. Labs aren’t know for being the Einstein of the dog world, but this one didn’t have 2 brain cells to rub together. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/90 "2010-04-30T15:05:49Z")
> [@RalfCoder](#): > > One of our furballs does this, too, or would if we left enough food down for repeated trips. A vet said in our case the cat was eating as fast as possible to get her food before one of the other members of the herd muscled in on her share… Our Einstein does this too, and our solution was to feed only at scheduled times in small, consistent amounts. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/91 "2010-04-30T15:14:57Z")
My cat, Mort, tried to hang himself. He was sitting on the window sill messing around with the draw-string thing that lifts the blinds and then he deliberately stuck his head underneath it, looping it around his head and jumped off the sill. I had to sprint over and lift him out of it before he strangled himself. So now I have him on Ritalin and he sees a therapist three times a week … and he’s no longer allowed to listen to Morrisey albums. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/92 "2010-04-30T15:18:26Z")
My thirteen pound dog is afraid of everything - including the remote control. Seriously. He cal be laying all snuggled up but if he sees ne reach for the remote, he will shy away and jump off the couch. Not sure why, I have never even raised a hand to him, let alone thrown the remote! And our cat did not recognize our dog when we got him clipped for summer. Now, granted it was a big change but it took a good day of puffing and hissing before the cat actually smelled him an realized. ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/93 "2010-04-30T15:19:02Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > My cat, Mort, tried to hang himself. > > —snippage occurs— > > … and he’s no longer allowed to listen to Morrisey albums. So I suppose that anything by Kurt Cobain is right out? ---
**Author:** ![luvrbcs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@luvrbcs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luvrbcs)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/94 "2010-04-30T18:31:50Z")
Our recently deceased Border Collie, Callie, when she sneezed, would bang her nose on the floor. Then she would look at us, offended, that we were laughing at her. Contary to popular belief, Border Collies are not necessarily smart. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/95 "2010-04-30T22:28:47Z")
Oh, Lordy, our deceased other Maine Coon, when he felt a sneeze coming on, would look around quickly for a target. You’d be having a tranquil moment together, him snuggled up next to you on the couch, you stroking his fluffy brown fur. He looks up at you, gazing adoringly straight into your eyes with his enormous green saucers, and you just have time to think, awww, how sweeACHOOOO! He’d blast that sneeze right at your face. Not necessarily dumb … but not cute, either. (Everything else about him was awesome, though, even with his severe plumbing problems. RIP, Clint.) **Luvrbcs** , there’s nothing funnier than the look on an animal’s face when it knows it’s being laughed at. Especially cats. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/96 "2010-04-30T23:15:43Z")
Our wonderful baby [Glo’ey](http://picasaweb.google.com/adamjprawlocki/Animals#5466072486961107266) (glow-ee) Also likes to bury herself in the covers until she nearly smothers and emerges gasping for breath. Occasionally she tries to commit suicide by farting obnoxiously under there. She also runs headfirst into walls, and occasionally falls off of a perfectly flat surface for no good reason. She’s a sweet little booger though. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/97 "2010-04-30T23:40:27Z")
Dog Physics. When my dog was a puppy, she figured out how to use momentum to save a few steps. She’d come tearing back after fetching the ball and stop suddenly, releasing the ball. The ball still had its momentum and would bounce and roll to my feet, if she’d aimed it right. One day I stood on the back porch to throw the ball and she tried the trick again. She tipped her head in puzzlement when the ball wouldn’t go up the back steps after she let it go. No matter how well she aimed it, it would just bounce off the bottom step. It took a couple of days before she gave up trying and brought the ball all the way back to me. ---
**Author:** ![sapientfanny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@sapientfanny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sapientfanny)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/98 "2010-04-30T23:46:14Z")
This is the best!! ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2010, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/99 "2010-05-01T00:48:00Z")
> [@Caprese](#): > > Beau lifts his leg to pee like any normal male dog, nothing dumb about that. Well, that depends. My dog growing up also used to do that. But she’d never pee: she’d just hike her leg for no reason. She saw some neighborhood dogs do it, and she picked it up. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2010, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506/100 "2010-05-01T01:39:27Z")
> [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > Our wonderful baby [Glo’ey](http://picasaweb.google.com/adamjprawlocki/Animals#5466072486961107266) (glow-ee) Look you moron, didn’t you read the damned title of the OP… **NO CUTE ALLOWED.** Sheesh. :rolleyes: 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-dumb-stuff-your-pet-does-no-cute-allowed/537506.md?page=6)