# Really lousy Christmas presents. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 2008, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040 "2008-11-30T10:30:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/41 "2008-12-02T17:05:49Z")
> [@Queen of Town](#): > > My stepmother’s parents had a friend who would give them the most bizarre gifts. It appeared that she would just gather stuff from her house and wrap it up, but the things she would choose! There was a pastry cutter that still had some pastry clinging to it, expired shampoo for grey hair, a datebook from the previous year (although I pointed out that it would be good in another 6 years), dirty socks, etc. And there were always like 15 different gifts every year, all of them culled from the various nooks and crannies of her house. Weird. Hmmm…eyeing my surroundings…you might be onto something there… ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/42 "2008-12-02T17:12:27Z")
> [@Queen of Town](#): > > My stepmother’s parents had a friend who would give them the most bizarre gifts. It appeared that she would just gather stuff from her house and wrap it up, but the things she would choose! There was a pastry cutter that still had some pastry clinging to it, expired shampoo for grey hair, a datebook from the previous year (although I pointed out that it would be good in another 6 years), dirty socks, etc. And there were always like 15 different gifts every year, all of them culled from the various nooks and crannies of her house. Weird. That’s actually really sad. ---
**Author:** ![Hi\_Neighbor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hi_neighbor/32/494_2.png) [@Hi\_Neighbor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Neighbor)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/43 "2008-12-02T17:16:54Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > That’s actually really sad. Yes, I chuckled at first, but the more I think about it.. it’s not funny. It is just \*really \*sad. Actually, I thought about it some more as I wrote that, and it became funny again. ---
**Author:** ![Influential\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Influential\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Influential_Panda)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/44 "2008-12-02T17:25:22Z")
I can’t even begin to compete with these lousy gifts, but one year I got “A Christmas Story” for Christmas. This sounds good on the surface, but when you think about it, it’s really the most useless movie you can buy. The one day out of the year that I want to watch it, it is on television literally every second of the day. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/45 "2008-12-02T17:28:25Z")
One year, my mother decided to give us “useful” presents. Like a gizmo that’s both a knife for cutting through a seatbelt and a hammer for breaking the window in case we get trapped in the car after an accident. And the cages for shish kebabs so they don’t fall apart on the grill _we didn’t even have_. Now I just ask for money. It’s so much simpler that way. Robin ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/46 "2008-12-02T17:36:33Z")
> [@Influential\_Panda](#): > > I can’t even begin to compete with these lousy gifts, but one year I got “A Christmas Story” for Christmas. This sounds good on the surface, but when you think about it, it’s really the most useless movie you can buy. The one day out of the year that I want to watch it, it is on television literally every second of the day. Any present that’s about Christmas is generally a bad idea. Grinch ties and reindeer sweaters come to mind, as do tree ornaments. Great, you can enjoy it for maybe two or three days, then you have to wait 11 months for it to become useful again. And that’s assuming it’s not tacky. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/47 "2008-12-02T17:44:28Z")
Wow. Some of these are really, really horrible. What would posess someone to wrap up what can only be described as garbage, and give it to someone else? Wacky. Anyhow, my worst was a bottle of hair conditioner from my SO. That was it. It was a rather short lived relationship; however, in fairness, it WAS my brand of conditioner. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/48 "2008-12-02T18:13:51Z")
Okay - this is not a “lousy” christmas present - but it was an “ewwwwww” present. My brother’s current flame thought he was really something. My sister who was so broke, couldn’t afford to buy any gifts, had written each of us letters which was sweet. Her bf - whom we didn’t really even know yet - showed up with presents for all of us from HIM (he made sure we realized it wasn’t a joint gift) These were CVS type gifts - can of peanuts for my dad and husband, etc. My gift from sleazoid? A can of body spray that he told me “smelled so good in the store he had to spray it all overhimself and just made him want to get naked and rub up against everyone he met.” He then encouraged me strongly several times to “spray it all over myself cause he wanted to smell it on me - he bet it would make me smell soooo good.” This while my husband was sitting on one side of me and my dad was sitting on the other. All three of us just looked at him in utter awe of his moxy. My sister just sat there oblivious (Og rest her soul - she was always a tad clueless), my stepmom was holding my dad’s arm back and trying not to either gag or burst out laughing. Needless to say, I didn’t spray it on me and I “accidentally” left it at my parents house when we left. My stepmom teased me unmercifully before agreeing to just throw it away. (there are more Ron stories - but I don’t want to hijack the thread any more than I already have.) ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/49 "2008-12-02T18:30:00Z")
Herpes? I dreamed of getting herpes! All I got was genital warts, and grateful for it, I was too! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/50 "2008-12-02T18:34:14Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > One year, my mother decided to give us “useful” presents. Like a gizmo that’s both a knife for cutting through a seatbelt and a hammer for breaking the window in case we get trapped in the car after an accident. And the cages for shish kebabs so they don’t fall apart on the grill _we didn’t even have_. > > Now I just ask for money. It’s so much simpler that way. > > Robin One year, the 'rents got my sister and me each a pair of _“the most amazing kitchen scissors that cut through ANYTHING, even tin cans, fercrissakes!”_ Fortunately, they were very generous and always gave us good gifts, too. The occasional bad gift was always overlooked. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/51 "2008-12-02T18:41:18Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > (there are more Ron stories - but I don’t want to hijack the thread any more than I already have.) Can we have a Ron thread? He sounds like he’s got a lot of potential for entertainment value. ---
**Author:** ![diggleblop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@diggleblop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diggleblop)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/52 "2008-12-02T18:42:06Z")
You think that’s bad, I got a fucking VCR !! No shit, a VCR and that’s it. What the fuck am I going to do with a VCR during this era? ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/53 "2008-12-02T18:50:11Z")
For their first Christmas together, my dad’s second wife spent all of the Xmas money (she didn’t have any income of her own) on her son from a previous marriage (who didn’t even live in the state) and bought my sister and I each a bottle of cheap bubble bath in those cheezy containers shaped like elongated poodles. And that was it. We were used to getting really cool stuff that we really wanted from my Dad and he completely lamed out on us that year. They divorced a couple of months later. The nice gifts returned. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/54 "2008-12-02T18:56:34Z")
One year when my brother and I were young, a large gift appeared under the tree marked with both our names. We spent plenty of time before Christmas hovering over it and speculating about what wonderful thing would be in that big ol’ box. Maybe the fact that it was from our great grandma should have tipped us off, but no…we were filled with joyous anticipation. Finally the big day came. The gift was lugged out to the middle of the room and we tore into it together like greed-crazed puppies. It was a clothes hamper. We looked at each other. We looked at Great Grandma. She looked proud and said, “Now maybe you’ll pick your clothes up off the floor!” “Great” grandma my ass. ---
**Author:** ![Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3da27b/32.png) [@Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nikki_Tikki_Tavi)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/55 "2008-12-02T18:59:16Z")
> [@diggleblop](#): > > You think that’s bad, I got a fucking VCR !! No shit, a VCR and that’s it. What the fuck am I going to do with a VCR during this era? Don’t tell my husband, but that’s what “the cats” are getting us this year. One of them knocked our old one off the shelf and broke it and we have way too many movies on VHS to replace them all with DVDs. Last year my grandma gave me one of those [earwarmer headband things.](http://www.amazon.com/Classic-Polar-Fleece-Warmer-Headband/dp/B000MEBLLG) Which is fine, it’s a useful gift. However, I think 26 is too old too to go around with your name written across your forehead in neon green airbrushed letters. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/56 "2008-12-02T19:04:33Z")
> [@diggleblop](#): > > You think that’s bad, I got a fucking VCR !! No shit, a VCR and that’s it. What the fuck am I going to do with a VCR during this era? At least if the person who gave it to you bought it from [http://www.break.com/index/crazy-gideons-insane-deals.html](http://www.break.com/index/crazy-gideons-insane-deals.html)"]here (Warning: Sound, Crazy), it probably only cost $19. [sub]Yeah, it’s my personal mission to link that commercial everywhere[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/57 "2008-12-02T19:30:43Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > “Now maybe you’ll pick your clothes up off the floor!” That’s just plain mean-spirited. ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/58 "2008-12-02T20:07:20Z")
Ron! Ron! Ron! Cmon, give us some Ron! ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/59 "2008-12-02T20:15:05Z")
> [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](#): > > Ron! Ron! Ron! Cmon, give us some Ron! Bah! Thanks. You just got “Da Doo Ron Ron” stuck in my head. The theme song to his own thread, no doubt. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040/60 "2008-12-02T20:26:30Z")
One year my sister was out of work and sent us a long list of what she “needed” for Xmas. Her gift to the “family” was a box of homemade cookies. Then she complained “I can’t believe I didn’t get everything on my list.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-lousy-christmas-presents/475040.md?page=4)