# Really poor cover art **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 18, 2011, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662 "2011-12-18T19:36:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2012, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662/41 "2012-01-15T04:07:29Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > One edition of Diane Duane’s _The Door Into Fire_ had an embarrassingly bad cover that looked more like something for an erotic Conan rip-off. Badly represents the book; I’ll post a link in a spoiler box to satisfy the two-click rule for NSFW links. > > Just screams “[We’re from a semi-matriarchal society of Goddess worshipers](http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51qjiBGR4JL._SS500_.jpg)”, doesn’t it? Lord, that’s… I just don’t have words. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2012, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662/42 "2012-01-15T18:37:42Z")
I nominate [Are You Hungry Tonight?](http://amyalessio.com/new/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/scan0032.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662/43 "2012-01-15T19:19:49Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > One edition of Diane Duane’s _The Door Into Fire_ had an embarrassingly bad cover that looked more like something for an erotic Conan rip-off. Badly represents the book; I’ll post a link in a spoiler box to satisfy the two-click rule for NSFW links. > > Just screams “[We’re from a semi-matriarchal society of Goddess worshipers](http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51qjiBGR4JL._SS500_.jpg)”, doesn’t it? Not only does that look like a heavy metal album cover, Google tells me that it actually _was_ a [heavy metal album cover](http://www.amazon.com/Long-Live-Loud-Exciter/dp/B0007R8EHC). ---
**Author:** ![XaMcQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/f9ae1b/32.png) [@XaMcQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XaMcQ)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662/44 "2012-01-15T20:12:46Z")
> [@Balance](#): > > Here’s one: [the cover of _Seeker’s Bane_, by P. C. Hodgell](http://www.webscription.net/popup.aspx?src=images/Product/large/1439132976.jpg) > > I hate it. As far as I can tell, all of Hodgell’s other fans hate it. Hodgell hates it, but tries to be diplomatic about it for getting-published reasons. The problem is that it gets close, then screws up _every_ detail. Everything in the picture is in the book, but _none_ matches the descriptions. > > 1. The protagonist is flat-chested and (when traveling) wears a tight-fitting black outfit. (She is a thief, after all). > 2. The fat lynx-thing is supposed to be small enough that she can pick him up (with difficulty) and have white eyes. (He was born blind.) > 3. The mask is supposed to cover her whole face, because it’s supposed to be covering a nasty wound on one cheek that is a major plot point. > 4. The poncy unicorn in the background is the most vicious predator on the planet. At least they got his color right…which means they got his eyes wrong, because he’s an albino. > 5. The knife is more nitpicky, but it’s supposed to be all one piece of ivory, with faces on the pommel. > > Someone went to the trouble to collect enough details for all those elements to be present, and the artist appears to be technically competent, and it’s _still_ screwed up. I wouldn’t sweat most of them, honestly, if it weren’t for #1. It’s such an egregiously _wrong_ depiction of a character I’ve been reading about for years that I hate it. I suppose I should be grateful that she’s shown wearing gloves and with long black hair. Those are the only details they actually got right in the whole picture. I was going to use that one, for all those reasons, but hey, her new book cover is just about as bad. [http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/1451637624/ref=dp\_image\_text\_z\_0?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/1451637624/ref=dp_image_text_z_0?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books) I would dearly like to get my hands on the breast-obsessed jackass who decided on these covers. ---
**Author:** ![allanbard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@allanbard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/allanbard)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2012, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662/45 "2012-01-15T23:21:42Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > I’ve seen good cover art on dust jackets, pictures that let you know the artist had a halfway decent idea of what was going on inside the book. > > But more often I’ve seen cover art that, to put it baldly, sucks. > > For example, whoever did, or at least passed on, the pictures that grace the covers of S.M.Stirling’s books that start with Dies the Fire, obviously had not clue as to how that characters in the book really looked. > > I once heard Anne McCaffrey(RIP) say that the covers of her Pern books often were poorly thought out. I mean, a dragon rider like Lessa would not be wearing a filmy white gown, would she? McCaffrey did say that the cover of The White Dragon seemed to be fairly accurate as to the gear a rider would wear. [White Dragon (disambiguation) - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_White_Dragon) > > Do you have any examples of cover art that really bugs you? A friend of mine who is a graduate in book-publishing once told me that in the industry it is a well-known fact that the worst illustrations were made by professional artists. At first I was surprised to hear that, but then remembered my personal experience and realized she was right. When I was a kid, I was really frustrated by the illustrations in The Hobbit for example (the Bulgarian edition I mean). Bilbo Baggings looked so mean and greedy as if he wanted to kill all the dwarves and steal Smog’s all treasure. Orcs were so skinny and disproportionate that I was wondering how they could stand on their feet, let alone fight. The dragon Smog had so small wings that compared to them even T. Rex’s rudimental paws looked big… Almost all the illustrations had very little in common with the story! They looked that way as if the illustrator took the characters from another book and used them in J.R. Tolkien’s story… Though the illustrator was a professional artist… I guess many of the other readers and writers could share such examples too? And many of them would agree with my opinion that for some of my books many authors must use their own illustrations? I guess if I hired a professional artist for some of my works then probably my Mountaineers would be clean-shaven, the mermaids’ hair would get wet all the time, the Brown faces would look like the Afro-Americans of today (and all the readers and critics would accuse me of being racist), etc. Of course, every rule has its exceptions, there are amateur illustrations and covers that look awful. It seems I’m not the only one who thinks many professional covers, illustrations suck… ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2012, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662/46 "2012-01-15T23:31:43Z")
> [@allanbard](#): > > I guess many of the other readers and writers could share such examples too? And many of them would agree with my opinion that for some of my books many authors must use their own illustrations? Reminds me of Mercedes Lackey, who gets around the problem by having her husband Larry Dixon do the illustrations. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2012, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662/47 "2012-01-16T01:30:53Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Reminds me of Mercedes Lackey, who gets around the problem by having her husband Larry Dixon do the illustrations. And a wise decision that is. The illustrations in the Gryphon trilogy are some of my favorite illustrations in any book. ---
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2012, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662/48 "2012-01-16T16:30:09Z")
> [@Andy\_L](#): > > Lois McMaster Bujold’s Vorkosigan books often get very unusual covers, such as this legendarily bad German cover for “Warrior’s Apprentice” [http://www.dendarii.co.uk/Covers/German/twa\_de.jpg](http://www.dendarii.co.uk/Covers/German/twa_de.jpg) - yes that’s supposed to be Miles. Wow, horrid. I have seen that face as someones forum avatar somewhere but hadn’t realised it was being used ironically (at least I hope it was!) > [@](#): > > This cover for Niven’s “Shape of Space” is pretty bad too [http://4.bp.blogspot.com/\_XsVALQtGIZM/SQ3rD6n9XOI/AAAAAAAAJPc/HIPDuLbPBvw/s320/Niven-Shape+of+Space.jpg](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_XsVALQtGIZM/SQ3rD6n9XOI/AAAAAAAAJPc/HIPDuLbPBvw/s320/Niven-Shape+of+Space.jpg) (sorry about the long link). Yes, that’s supposed to be a Puppeteer… Two heads “like sea serpents” – check Furry braincase hump – check Three legs – check Pretty solid on accuracy IMHO. Not exactly a great work of art overall, but what can you expect from 60’s-70’s SF? ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2012, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662/49 "2012-01-16T18:20:41Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > Original Bachman cover to [The Running Man](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y218/haloofflies/bachmanrunningmannel83.jpg) Apparently I have my books mixed up because when I read The Running Man there were no homicidal American Gladiators in it. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2012, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662/50 "2012-01-16T19:22:19Z")
> [@fluiddruid](#): > > Apparently I have my books mixed up because when I read The Running Man there were no homicidal American Gladiators in it. Would have been a BRILLIANT illo for the movie “Rollerball.” ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2012, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662/51 "2012-01-16T19:25:33Z")
> [@Ichbin\_Dubist](#): > > The other 2 are not nearly so goofy, but the [1960s paperback cover](http://images.google.com/imgres?q=fellowship+of+the+rings+paperback+60s+covers&hl=en&safe=off&gbv=2&biw=1294&bih=880&tbm=isch&tbnid=SkROXa0gq24DVM:&imgrefurl=http://lonemtnhomestead.com/ballantine_fantasy.htm&docid=jdnT1asFWF2sVM&imgurl=http://lonemtnhomestead.com/17902efd0.jpg&w=302&h=509&ei=sLLvTobRM6Xa0QHUsdTJCQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=515&vpy=603&dur=504&hovh=181&hovw=107&tx=92&ty=125&sig=106870156591770311145&page=3&tbnh=157&tbnw=96&start=60&ndsp=32&ved=1t:429,r:3,s:60) of _The Fellowship of the Ring_ must have left at least a few people skipping the series entirely, thinking it was about frogs and psychedelic eggplant. I love that cover, but it really does tell you nothing about the contents of the book other than “medieval” in that it looks like a medieval book illustration. A story of the happy residents of the Shire as they live in a peaceful idyll, untouched by war, is what that illo says. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2012, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662/52 "2012-01-16T19:50:41Z")
> [@XaMcQ](#): > > I was going to use that one, for all those reasons, but hey, her new book cover is just about as bad. > > [http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/1451637624/ref=dp\_image\_text\_z\_0?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/1451637624/ref=dp_image_text_z_0?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books) > > I would dearly like to get my hands on the breast-obsessed jackass who decided on these covers. Yeah, that one sucks, too. There’s a little less stuff in it to get wrong, but that apparently just gave him more time to get everything _thoroughly_ wrong. > [@SpazCat](#): > > And a wise decision that is. The illustrations in the Gryphon trilogy are some of my favorite illustrations in any book. Agreed. I like all of his illustrations, really, but the ones in the Gryphon trilogy were brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662/53 "2012-01-17T01:10:45Z")
> [@awldune](#): > > Two heads “like sea serpents” – check > Furry braincase hump – check > Three legs – check > > Pretty solid on accuracy IMHO. Not exactly a great work of art overall, but what can you expect from 60’s-70’s SF? Maybe it’s just me, but I pictured the necks as being much more substantial than that, but I guess it’s the overall cartoonishness that bothers me most. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662/54 "2012-07-18T13:11:56Z")
Someone on another forum started a thread on this same subject, even linking to the same site **dangermom** did. I recalled this thread when [this cover](http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/65.jpg) was posted and I started laughing out loud from its sheer over-the-topness (zoom in a little for the full effect). Someone on the other forum called it the “most testosterone laden thing” they’d ever seen. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-poor-cover-art/606662.md?page=2)